Chapter 2
Hello? Said chloe. Anybody there? She was in a dark room all she could see were her ears and body. Hello! Said a dark voice. Welcome back to your worse nightmare! AHHHHHHHHHH Chloe yelled then the room seemed to change to a dark forest where a small bunch of kittens lay. Chloe, her brother, and her small dieing sister. Chloe and her brother were wrapped around her sister protecting her. Her sister was so weak she could barely even walk. Then A big bear came out of the trees. Then it happened. Without even enough time to call for help her brother was gone. The bear swiped him up so fast there was no time to help. Then her sister. The same thing happened to her sister! But then a big figure cme out of the trees and scared the bear away, then before she could say thank-you the figure was gone. Why me chloe shouted WHY ME! Then something started to move! It was an earthquake! Then she opened her eyes. Mr raccoon was shaking her, wake up he said!
Who what where? Chloe asked. You were sleep talking said mr racoon. Oh i was having A bad dream. Chloe said. Oh said mr racoon. Are you sure your ok he said? Yeah said chloe.
Later that day mr racoon and chloe were playing when all of a sudden out of nowhere chloe stopped and said. Mr racoon! yeah ? he answered. Why are you lost? its a long story he said. I have time said chloe.
Ok fine ill tell you he said. Yay chloe said…
When i was a baby i lived in a big forest with lots of trees. But then something happened… what yelled chloe?... a fire. The whole forest lit on fire, i dont know who or what caused it. But it all lit on fire. Every body in my family died, except for me. I made it out. My dad was carrying me but the fire was closing in on us, so he threw me. He was only able to throw me my siblings were already dead and my mom. How did you end up here? Asked chloe. When my dad threw me i landed in a river so i sat on a log and waited Then a little boat came by, there were only two people on the boat, a father and a son. The boy saw me and they put me on the boat and took me here. I never saw them again.
What about you said mr raccoon? What do you mean? Asked chloe. well , why are you lost? I-i-...umm why cant you tell me he asked? Because I DONT WANT TO! Fine. said mr racoon sadly. Just then the sky started to change colour. Oh-NO Yelled mr racoon. What? Said chloe? The storm said mr racoon.
There was thunder and lightning, rain and all the people running to find cover. Chloe! We need to go! Run yelled chloe! They ran under a tree but the storm was getting worse! It was raining so hard the water was already reaching chloes tummy and reaching half of mr raccoons legs.
Quick said mr racoon, get on my back! Ok said chloe getting onto his back. Then a loud sound came over the whole town. They couldnt really hear with all the rain but all they heard was…
Hello @#%@#%^ sorry about &$%&$@$ $^W$^E%^ lighting #@% thunder %$^%&%^& getting worse $^$%&(*^&$%^$%$ flood #%#$^^%$&%&*$%%#^^$* find cover @$%%$%^&$$#%^ bye #$%*%^*& good luck
Oh no said chloe! I heard something about a flood she Yelled. Me to said mr racoon. Ok i know what to do chloe said. What? Asked mr racoon. Climb up that tree. The water was now up to mr racoons chin. I…i…ive never climbed trees before said mr racoon. WHAT yelled chloe. For real said mr racoon. But ill have to try. Mr raccoon started to climb the tree with chloe giving him advice as he climbed but then he sliped and he quickly threw the kitten up the tree just as his dad had done to him in the burning forest. Then chloes claws stuck into the tree but mr racoon fell right Into the water. I cant swim he yelled!
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hiya! This is Orabella here with another review.
This is such a sweet and amazing poem, with awesome morals.
This is also such a nice poem for any Christian. Also, I was looking at your about page, and I realized you're apart of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My family is too! I didn't realize anyone else on the site was. Well, um, hi, I guess.
(Again this is a poem with spectacular rhyming. Old, I know. But it's still true. ^^)
The title is a perfect fit, especially with your mention of the spirits of ancestors with you.
The ending of this is so satisfying and hopeful - very different than most of your poems, especially The Feelings of Silence. Such different tones.
Although I'm not as active in the church as I used to be, this is still soothing to read and really makes me sing inside.
Thank you for sharing! And keep writing!
That is incredible! Yes I am a member
I'm actually preparing for my mission too!
Thank you for your lovely review, once again!
Hopefully youll get a chance to catch some General Conference today <3
-Ellie
Of course! (Sorry that they're always so short...)
Ooh that's awesome! Do you know where you'll be going yet?
not yet! im submitting my papers later this year
That's still awesome! ^^ Um, I wish you luck for wherever you go.
Greetings Poet!
Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye an interesting poem titled “Ancestral Embrace” that deserves a good review. Therefore without further ado, let’s begin.
You've written a lovely poem about the love of the speaker's ancestors. The poem starts with describing a scared temple, with its hallowed halls. I'm not sure if I understood the second sentence of the first stanza, but the third and last sentence made it clear.
You have skillfully portrayed the love of a family and the love of ancestors through your poem.
The third stanza will be my favourite one. Not only because the speaker begins to see the love "that's meant to be", but also because of the first sentence; "With love and respect, my words I chose", yes, when I read this poem it really feels as if you have carefully and respectfully chosen your words.
Everything in all and all in everything, you are a talented writer with a love for poems that I just enjoy to read. The rhyming, imagery, it's all in there. Keep on doing what you do and good luck with your future writing projects!
That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!
With writer’s love,
Rose
The poem was pretty good, I'll give you a thumbs up on that. Your use of words has a lot of emotion behind it and you say these words with all your heart and soul. Like your description of love throughout your entire poem. I like your use of imagery, like in the first stanza with the temple and the second stanza with the heart singing. If there's one thing (as far as I know) you could use some improvement, you would need to tweak some of the verses within your stanzas, as it sounds a bit clunky if you read it out loud. One being,
, which the word "that" makes the verse awkward. Another example is this quote, , with the word "have". But overall, it's a good poem.