z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone Language

Peasant Souls on a Worthy Land

by AgyeiJohnson20, AgyeiJohnson20


Peasant Souls on a Worthy Land

The creator was good to us

From the present, to the future dated from the past

Our possession of the land comes with a ticket

We hold the emblem of hope and our fingers fidget

We thrust our hands in our pocket

Day and night the time tickles

The location is built out of greens

The land’s need alone the soil can feed

Yellow metal (gold) is the soil’s stone

Waters flow across the land poles

In the mother water’s bosom (sea)  dirty blood of energy flows (oil) 

With fertile weather seasons, as healthy animals grow

Divided we fall together we stand

Beautiful Black Star  shinning like the sun

With no ethnicity bounds hospitality is our might

Rich culture fixed to cohesion peaceful tribes

From generations civil war we’ve despise

To be peasant souls on a worthy land?

Religion has become opium of the masses

Painting riches as a deadly weapon in most cases

In our emaciated body we’re promised heaven

Are the land’s resources shared even?

Out of hunger we lament from morning till evening

They take the little we have for the House keeping

A government where blood is split by ideas and not guns

Campaign shapes our faith to be it fans

Myopic to development, diplomatic thieves

Stranger aren’t you, you’re now fat than your sleeves

Vulture do you value carcass, tell us how you feel

Ananse (wise man) the good are yours so keep

Orphans we are, we can’t dream like the sun, we sip a bottle of rum

We’ve lost trust, we’ve lost faith, and election is our gun

If the world judges us guilty, we die for our sons

Our sins we cleanse by the rays of the sun

When you meet us, we beseech you run

We want to be no more peasants on a worthy land


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73 Reviews


Points: 4757
Reviews: 73

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Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:54 am
NightKaizer wrote a review...



HEELLO Agyei Johnson,
A poem about a rich land inhabited by poor residents. At first I thought that couldn't be possible but now I realize that anything is, in fact, possible.
The poem rhymes at one point, stops forming a pattern, then rhymes again. I sort of lost the rhythm of the poem there. A mix of two types of poems- rhyming and not rhyming- can cause confusion. It's just a tip.
This poem's topic has repeated itself through history. A powerful group of people faces quarrels amongst themselves and soon fall prey to a government who takes their current hardships to their advantage. This is how most empires in history have faced their downfall. A poem in history. I like it :)

A peasant no more,

Night Kaizer




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Points: 319
Reviews: 40

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Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:53 am
MeAndMyThoughts wrote a review...



Hello there. Truth be told— I am not worthy of reviewing, so I was waiting for someone else to review first.

I don't know much about Ghana, sorry. But I liked the composition and how you have conveyed what you wanted to say. I may not be able to understand how you feel, but I have trust that everything will be fine. A poet more of a positive person than a negative one. People of your country are worthy, your country is worthy, and so you shall get it. About the poem—I think it was unnecessary putting words in (...), except the meaning of 'Ananse'. It feels weird actually. Otherwise, a great poem.



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Your review much appreciated. I'm a young writer trying to see if i can use poetry to talk about my country's corrupt system. Hope I will get more reviews from you in my successive post.


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Of course. If I am unable to do a review myself, please send me a private message. I hope I can be of help.



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Points: 20
Reviews: 2

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Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:36 am
AgyeiJohnson20 says...



I find the piece intriguing. I know Ghana is a a country with abundant natural resources but, still the nation begs for financial assistant. The use of "Beautiful Black Stars" specifies the setting. Ghana is the only country with a black star on it flack. Keep on. This is your first work here.





if ya mention chickens, i have to show up, that is the law.
— alliyah