dear childhood
do you remember the good days?
the children laughing and smiling around you
the carefree days filled with joy
when everyone was a friend
the stories of stuffed animals and candy
do you remember those happy details?
the hair barely long enough to fit into those pigtails
the fresh teeth that came with crisp dollar bills
the small baby you held in your arms
the smiling family photos
do you know what happened?
was it when it's teeth dug in
tearing at the face you thought was impenetrable
the moment you realized you weren't invincible
the immortality and smiles replaced by blood on your shirt
tears on your face
scars that would follow you forever
the realization that not all creatures are kind
was it when you learned she wasn't immortal either?
when chocolates and tea parties
became ashes and grief
only things left were the pillows filled with her fading scent
and the memories of her blurred face
each detail slowly fading to nothing
till you can't even remember the warmth of her hugs
was it when you found out that true love wasn't always forever?
that it can become hatred and cruelty
when they tear your life in two
one home filled with hugs and comfort
the other filled with cigar smoke and shame
their love torn apart and they'll tear you apart for yours
the discovery that love is more complicated and dangerous than you though
well look at this
seems we have finally met in the middle
the past filled with joy and fantasy
the present willed with tears and regret
here we stand
hands pressed together as we meet
fingers finally touching
what was the moment between us
the thing that changed us from what was to what is and will be
made us so different and seperate
it wasn't the laughter
and it wasn't the tears
it was simply when you opened that door
you didn't know this would be the thing that stole your innocence
it was so easy
to step into this unknown world
filled with fear and change
and i wish i could come back with you and your childhood dreams
but that door is closed
that wall was built between us
all i can do is keep moving through this hallway of terrors and ripped wallpaper
and hope that maybe
there's another door
that will lead to the outside
and i can be free
you can be free
we can be free
from the hallways of the past
the present
and into the brighter future
of tomorrow
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141,603 Literary Works • 675,122 Reviews
Hello!
Oooh I like this poem! One thing first though: in your description you forgot the "h" in the word "have". Just saying so I won't forget!
I like this part. It suggests/foreshadows that you will be talking about those good days. I also like the idea of adressing this to your own childhood! =D
This is good except that the repetitive use of the word "days" is a bit off and breaks the flow. Maybe you can replace it with a word like "weeks" or "months", or a kind of synonym?
Aaaaah this is so relatable! One of the things I remember out of my childhood is that everyone was everyone's friend, or no one were friends - anyways people just played together. *sniffs*
More relatable stuff! Are you, like, a doppelgänger of me or something?? Or maybe I am a doppelgänger of you... mwahaha!
Nooo it feels like someone died there!!! ToT You describe it very well...
But the first of those three quotes kind of feels like the person was murdered? "Not all creatures are kind"...? I don't know.
This almost feels like you aren't talking to your childhood anymore? But I guess it can still be interpretated so. It does feel like you are talking to the dead person now, not the childhood anymore.
Aaaaaaw I love this ending!!! it sounds so hopeful and free after all of the grief. I love the contrasts "happy memories and nostalgia" then "grief and mourning" then "hopefulness" =) , but all the while with great transitions. So overall I really liked this poem! It is very good at making the reader feel emotions, like a word-rollercoaster =D
So: please please keep writing, I hope to be reading more of you soon! Thank you for sharing this with us and have a wonderful day =DDD
This review is brought to you by-
thank you so much for the review, this one was of my own memories so the line about scars and how not creatures are kind is there because i got bitten by a dog on the face and had to go to the hospital for clareification
Aaaah ok. Hope that everything is fine now !!
yeah it is
A Butterfly has landed to review your work!
Hey adachristensen! A Butterfly has landed to review your work, and I have to say, I really enjoyed reading this! It has a very personal feel to it, almost like the speaker is having a dialogue with their childhood. It goes from being very nostalgic to very introspective
The Egg
My first thought was that it felt like you were looking through an old photo album and seeing how much has changed. The beginning has this very innocent feel to it before the poem begins to shift towards your experience with the world.
The Caterpillar Hatches
I really enjoyed this part:
The direct address really makes it feel like this poem is an actual letter from the present to the past. I also really enjoyed the inclusion of many little things from childhood, as it really helps to ground the memories.
Growing & Molting
What stood out to me was the gradual change from innocence of childhood to the harsh reality of growing up. The addition of each experience added yet another layer to your relationship with the world, and I really appreciated how that process wasn't rushed along.
Spinning the Chrysalis
The interaction between the past and present probably was my favourite structural device. It almost feels like two people on either ends of a relationship, as it really helps to display the vastness of the gulf between the two.
The Transformation
There were a lot of ideas crammed into this poem, so a few sections felt a bit congested to me. A slight expansion on some of the most powerful moments would have made them even more so!
Wings Taking Shape
The use of the hallway as a metaphor really stood out to me! The continuation of the path despite the fear and uncertainty that it brings with it, and the hope that it will lead to something outside soon enough really gives the poem a sense of identity.
Breaking Free
I especially enjoyed the conclusion because it didn't leave you trapped in the past. The return of freedom really serves to reinforce the notion that hope isn't lost with growing up.
First Flight
Overall, this was a very emotional and introspective work, and I really enjoyed the ability to relate it to my own life. I appreciated how it acknowledged the fact that growing up could affect everything I thought about without diminishing the importance of childhood.
Favorite Nectar
My favourite moment was definitely
I really enjoyed how it changed from "I" to "we" and really made the ending feel not like an attack on the past but rather a reconciliation and acceptance of it.
Lovely work! <3
tysm!!