I used to think change would be obvious
like I would wake up and a switch would go off
bam
everything's different
I thought I would notice it
I thought it would be an elevator that shoots me to the top
but I know now that it's stairs
that go on forever
and the incline is so slight that you don't notice it at first
you can't feel the change
and I couldn't
but as I sit here in my bed
when I would usually be crying my eyes out
and I find myself smiling
and I realize I've changed
I hadn't even noticed it
it wasn't the flick of a switch but a dimmer slowly raising
and it feels so strange
as I sit here at the top
looking down at the bottom that I didn't notice was so far away
how different I am
how I find myself doing things I never had the confidence to do before
to not feel like everything I do is worthless
to be able to dream
it's like I'm on a swing
at that point when you switch from going forward to backward
and your stomach flips
and you feel like you're flying
and as you do it more and more
it gets less scary
and rather than a parachute
now you have wings
feathers of confidence and pride
a brilliant shade of blue that blends in with the sky as you soar through it
as the sun smiles down at you
warming your skin
and even though the clouds moved slow
and I didn't notice the slow inching of light
now I see it
turning the grass a golden green
and my hair a shining yellow
and with these wings maybe I'll fly forever
maybe I'll have to go back down
maybe I'll lose feathers
but once I have them
they never truly disappear
they just get weak
and even if I crash
even if I change for worse
my stairs will climb
my dimmer will raise
my swing will move forward
my wings will heal
and I will change once again
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maybe this is where AI can't surpass humans. we have our emotions, experience, and our own individual world view, which we write about. maybe that's what makes us human
absolutely loved ur poem <3
I really enjoyed reading this. I liked how you used so many different images to describe change instead of simply saying that you became a different person. The stairs, dimmer, swing, and especially the wings all show different parts of the journey really well. My favorite part was realizing that the change had already happened while the speaker wasn't even noticing it. The ending was beautiful because it doesn't pretend that everything will always stay perfect—the idea that the wings can weaken but heal again feels very hopeful and realistic. It made the whole poem feel like a reminder that even slow progress is still progress.
Hi Ada, I will be reviewing your lovely poem for you today.
I really liked your portrayal of change as something gradual and not necessarily dramatic. The beginning definitely hooked me in, as I think it's easy to see changes as these dramatic turning points where everything is different suddenly. I really liked how you contrasted this expectation:
I particularly liked this because I think the comparison to stairs reflects how much can be changed without us really noticing while it's happening. The moment you describe finding yourself sitting in bed smiling instead of crying was a lovely touch, because it made the change a more personal experience. This is one of those rare poems where I think the abstract idea being discussed could be applied to anyone's life.
Another part I especially liked was your use of the dimmer metaphor:
This really tied together the themes of gradual change and I think it made the poem flow really well as a whole with the addition of the stairs. Again, I think the rest of the poem does a wonderful job of elaborating on these motifs with the swing, wings, and finally the healing feathers.
I think the part about wings was my favorite section because it showed confidence in the narrator's perseverance, but not in an unrealistic way. I really appreciated that you acknowledged that the progress could be lost:
I think this was a perfect ending which tied everything together nicely and wasn't too cheesy. The message that while the change may not always be for the better, it almost always leaves lasting effects on us is really beautiful.
My only recommendations are that you go back and check some of your punctuation and spacing. I think that the lack of it in some places actually helped to convey exactly what you wanted, but there were a couple places where the context could have been clearer if you punctuated some phrases. Otherwise, I thought this was a wonderful poem. I found it quite soothing to read, actually. I liked the message that once we've achieved something for ourselves, even if we lose it, it can be easier to regain than before.
Lovely work! <3
~hira♡
<3
Often when the author decides to not use any punctuation or capitalize letters at the beginning of any sentences the poem can turn out as messy and hard to follow. This poem however kept flowing despite the lack of punctuation which needs some skill!
I love how it portrays consistency.
There's always progress to be made and the stairs may feel overwhelming but as you climb the steps one by one it's harder to loose your footing and fall all the way back to the bottom. It gives you security.
Wings allow you to fly back up even when your feet touch the ground surface. With a parachute you may fall safely, but your back in square one.
The poem beautifully reflects self growth and how your perspective can evolve.
You can always try again and the journey never ends which becomes the beauty of it.