This is a song I wrote for an upcoming Sherlock: A study in pink musical i am working on with some friends! We're still in the first stages but I have made a demo instrumental for this song. Which I would love feedback on!! There's also me singing an earlier version of the lyrics very badly here. We also need auditions so please PM me if you're interested!
THE FREAK PART 2 - PSYCHOPATHS GET BORED
(SPEAKING)
SALLY: He’s gone.
JOHN: Sherlock Holmes?
SALLY: He just took off - he does that.
JOHN: Is he coming back?
SALLY: Didn’t look like it.
JOHN: Why would he do that?
SALLY: Let me tell you:
(SINGING)
SALLY
he, he likes it
he gets off on it
you wanna know why?
psychopaths get bored
he’ll be bored of you soon
he’ll move onto somebody new
But don’t got feeling blue-
It’s what we’ve all been through
one day just showing up
it wont be enough
we’ll be standing here
at a crime scene
And sherlock holmes
Will have put the body there!
JOHN
Why would he do that?
why would you say that?
he doesn’t seem the type
he doesn’t seem insane
just strange
And me, I’m no one
I’m no one special
I’ve only just met him
SALLY
You’re not his friend
He doesn’t have any of them
So, who are you, John?
And don’t you know, the game is on?
If you want to stay sane
You don’t play this game
‘Cause he’s a psychopath
And they get bored
one day just showing up
it won't be enough
we’ll be standing here
at a crime scene
And sherlock holmes
Will have put the body there!
Would you like some advice?
Stay away from that guy
The weirder the crime
The more you’ll need an alibi
JOHN
i didn’t ask for this
all i wanted was a place to live
Do you know where I am?
I need to call a cab (for my leg)
BOTH
you should stay away from him
(should i stay away from him?)
he’s got a game to win
(i’ve got a game to win)
you’re in brixton
(I’m in brixton?)
(SPEAKING)
SALLY: Try the main road, you can get a cab there.
JOHN: Thank you, and Sherlock- He’s- He’s not… He can’t… He’s…
JOHN sighs before walking away, looking defeated and heartbroken as he leaves the stage.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hi! Plume here, with a review!
I really enjoyed the series Sherlock (I first watched it last year after much insistence from my friends) and I think your song has done it justice.
First off, it's super impressive that you've written a song. I've dabbled in songwriting before, and it does not come naturally to me. You make it sound and look so effortless. Your lyrics are really great, and contain just enough of a slant rhyme that when it's sung creates this really nice rhythm. Anyways. I really think you did a great job and the lyrics are just ~stunning~. I don't really have much criticism there.
One thing I did wonder about was the actual sound of it. I know you said the demo was from an earlier version, so I'm not sure if anything has changed, but to me, it seems a little slow. Especially John's part. It drags a bit in my opinion. I really love your instrumental, but I picture this song to be more of a foreboding warning. You achieve that in the earlier bits with Sally when you channel the "whooo stay away haunted house" vibes (sorry if that makes no sense, I'm a little tired) but I feel like John's more confused during this scene and you could speed up or vary his part a little. It would also provide more contrast in your song, and could even symbolically show how John doesn't know Sherlock like everyone else on the crime scene does. That's pretty much my only critique for that. (I absolutely adore the instrumental, so you're all good there.)
Also, I'd love to audition for the show (I'm a theater kid deprived of any productions) but since I'm American and also a minor I feel like I'm not the casting type. I wish you best of luck for it, though! I'm sure it'll be amazing.
Overall: phenomenal job! You should be proud, and I'm very excited to see what else you have for this project!
thank you so much!! and ;please please audition!!! pm me for info but we need everyone we can get
You're so talented whaaat lol and I could follow the lyrics sometimes. Keep me posted on this
wow thank you so much it means a lot!
Reading this makes me want to rewatch Sherlock all over again. The lyrics were spot on. If you write any more songs for your musical, do share here. They are a lot of fun to read. All the best with your musical!
thank you so much! I will be sure to share them, and sherlock is well worth the rewatch XD
You just blew my mind. Especially with the music demo. I was imagining this on Broadway while listening to it.
Wow thank you so much! That means so much to me!
Oh. My. GOSH. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. It's so funny!!!! I wish I could like this a million times!!
There were a few grammatical things I wanted to point out, so here you go!!
That should be Sherlock Holmes here.
That should be I here. This happens again in the work, so if you want me to point that out, PM me!
That should be Brixton here.
That's it! Have a great day/night, and keep writing!!
Momo
thank you! i totally forgot to check all the grammar as i was writing it oops-