Demo version of me singing this badly: here
Instrumental demo of an older version: here
The reporter is reporting on the three suicides. She is standing centrestage, holding up the front page of the newspaper each time a new suicide has occurred.
BREAKING NEWS: BUSINESSMAN TAKES DEADLY PILL IN ABANDONED OFFICE
Jeffrey Patterson: The first suicide
Why would he want to take his own life?
A well paying job, a loving wife
Did he really want to die?
BREAKING NEWS: STUDENT TAKES DEADLY PILL IN SPORTS CENTRE
James Phillimore: The second suicide
Left his friend to escape from the rain
And ended up with poison in his veins
‘He wouldn’t have done this’, his mother cried
BREAKING NEWS: TRANSPORT MINISTER TAKES DEADLY PILL IN WORKER’S PORTACABIN
Beth Davenport: The third suicide
Now the Minister of transport to the afterlife
No one understand not even her wife
She told us that she misses her ‘beautiful bride’
BREAKING NEWS: ALL THREE TOOK THE SAME POISON
And on the case is Scotland Yard
This one is driving Lestrade Berserk!
But you can’t have serial suicides
No, that just wouldn’t work!
I’m a reporter and I report the facts
But these three dead in such a short time-
Let’s ask Lestrade, see how he reacts!
Lestrade, Is suicide even a crime?