Cover art for Crawlers - Chapter Two: The Hosptial

Crawlers - Chapter Two: The Hosptial

by 4revgreen

Published July 27, 2026

16+ Violence Mature Content

In CRAWLERS | Ongoing Novel

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

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(Author's Note: thank you for the amazing feedback on chapter one, I'm rewriting parts of it now! I hope you enjoy chapter two, and meeting one of my favourite characters in the story, the stubborn Aubrey! I hope the dual-narrative structure isn't too confusing!)

2. The Hospital

The last thing Aubrey Ernest remembered was the screams.

They echoed behind her eyelids, panicked, high-pitched, cut short by the sudden grinding crunch of metal. For a moment, she was still inside the car, strapped in the passenger seat, reaching out for Macey. Her fingers curled tightly around the door handle, bracing for a second impact, but it never came. The screams simply faded away, and slowly, she managed to open her eyes. There was no glass, no smoke, no crumpled Toyota, just a blinding white light coming from above, haloed in a ring of grime.

She must be in the hospital. The thought came sluggishly as she groggily regained consciousness. Macey had crashed the car, that much she remembered, but everything else was scattered and lost. She tried to grab at the memories, but she couldn’t grasp onto anything. What had they hit? Another car? A tree? A person? They’d been driving out by Brockenhurst, so surely she’d be at Lymington or Southampton General. She knew those hospitals well. Too well, with their endless waiting rooms plastered in children’s characters, the metallic tang in the air, the nasty vending machine coffee her mum used to buy. This didn’t look like either of them.

It was way too silent. Her ears strained for the usual hospital chorus, the sounds she’d learned to half-ignore over the years: the steady beep of the machines, gurney wheels squeaking on the linoleum floor, the mechanical rasp of the ventilator. None of it came. Just the low, insectile buzz of the ceiling lights.

She tried to sit up, instinctively pushing up with her arms, but her wrists buckled underneath her and she slipped back down onto the bed. There was an IV line in her arm. The sight of it made her stomach churn. She hated cannulas. Without thinking, she ripped it out. There was a sharp sting, then a hot trickle of blood, but she barely registered it. The quicker it was out, the better. She let it drop to the floor with a soft clatter, then tried again to sit up. 

‘Hello?’ she croaked, her throat dry and hoarse. The word broke apart into something closer to a gargle. She tried to move her legs. Nothing. She tried again, but they wouldn’t move. She tore the blanket off and stared at them, hiding beneath the light blue hospital gown she was wearing. No matter how hard she willed them to move, they stayed heavy, distant, like they belonged to someone else. Her toes wouldn’t even wiggle. Balling her hand into a fist, she raised her arm and then slammed it down on her right thigh.

No flinch. No pain. 

With shaking hands, she picked up one leg and dragged it to the side of the bed, then did the same with the other. It felt like lifting sacks of flour. Then, elbows locked, jaw clenched, she attempted to push herself up onto her feet. Her arms trembled under the strain, only managing to lift herself an inch or so before she flopped back onto the bed. 

Her breath quickened. The crash couldn’t have been that bad, could it? Not bad enough to take everything from her? She’d broken a leg before, mountain biking in Ceredigion with her dad, and that had been bad enough. Ten weeks of itchy plaster, and four whole months off football.

This was worse. This was unthinkable. She had to be able to walk. She took a deep breath in and then pushed herself up again, ignoring the sharp pain that suddenly shot up her spine. Her hands clawed at the mattress as she forced herself upright until her body was vertical.

Then, she let go.

Her legs buckled instantly. She hit the floor hard, slamming her chin against the metal railing of the bed next to her as she fell. No scream came out when she opened her mouth, and she refused to let the tears escape her eyes. Aubrey Ernest did not cry. Not over a boy, not over a death, and certainly not over a stupid car crash. 

‘Oh my goodness!’ came a high-pitched shriek from across the room, followed by soft footsteps. ‘You’re awake!’

‘Get off,’ Aubrey sulked, trying to pull herself up. ‘I’m fine, my legs are just asleep.’

‘Oh dear,’ the voice said. Aubrey looked up. A young nurse in white scrubs was standing over her with her hands on her hips. There was a walkie-talkie in her right hand that she placed down on the other bed. ‘I’m Lottie,’ she added, crouching down. ‘Don’t worry, you’re not the first one to end up on the floor, but you are the only one who’s woken up and immediately tried to take a Sunday afternoon stroll.’

Aubrey scowled. ‘My legs are fine. They just need a minute to wake up.’

‘Oh, honey,’ Lottie placed a hand on Aubrey’s shoulder. Then, gently but firmly, she said, ‘Your legs aren’t sleeping. They won’t wake up. You’ve had a spinal injury.’

Too quickly, Aubrey responded. ‘The crash wasn’t that bad.’

‘You were in a crash?’ Lottie’s eyes widened, and she pulled a notepad and pen out of her trouser pockets. ‘Can you tell me exactly what happened?’

‘Aren’t you supposed to know that?’ Aubrey scoffed. She pushed herself up with her arms, up into a sitting position. She tried again to stand, but after a few seconds her shoulders burned, her wrists slipped, and she sagged with a gasp back onto the linoleum. 

Lottie threaded each arm under Aubrey’s armpits and hauled her up onto the bed. It was only then that Aubrey noticed how young Lottie looked. In fact, she didn’t look much older than Aubrey herself. Maybe fifteen or sixteen. There were huge, dark circles under her eyes. 

‘You’re not a real nurse, are you?’ Aubrey said, squinting.

‘I’m sorry,’ Lottie said. ‘We’ve had to improvise since…’

‘Since what?’

‘Oh, God. I’m sorry. I haven’t had to do this yet. You were the only coma patient and–’ 

‘Coma?’ Aubrey interrupted, her voice sharp. ‘I was in a coma? For how long?’

Lottie winced. ‘About three months, maybe more. We couldn’t find your chart. You didn’t even have a wristband. You were ventilated when we first found you, and when the generators died, you kept breathing on your own. The backup generator kicked in, but we needed the ventilator for another patient. I’ve just been managing what I could. Fluids, hygiene, and turning you over so you didn’t get sores. The catheter, too.’

Aubrey stared at her like she’d grown another head. ‘Since what started? What are you talking about?’

Lottie looked down at her hands, then around the room, as if hoping someone else might appear and do this part for her. ‘Since the adults changed,’ she finally replied. Her eyes darted back and forth, like she was trying to remember a script. ‘A meteor, or an asteroid, hit central London in June. It lit up the whole sky in red and orange clouds. It shut down all the transport. Lots of people were injured. People were panicking. Thought it was a terrorist attack. And then…’

She paused, picking at the seam of her sleeve. 

‘Then what?’

‘Then people started to get sick.’

‘A disease?’ Aubrey asked. ‘There was a pandemic? Like COVID?’

Lottie shook her head. ‘It only affected the adults. I’m sorry. It’s hard to explain. I should get Ravi.’ 

‘Tell me,’ Aubrey said, impatiently. 

‘Like I said, it came in the meteor. It changed them, the adults. It doesn’t affect kids. Anyone under eighteen, give or take. It takes over their brain. Makes them angry, aggressive. We call them Crawlers. Others call them Invaders.’ Lottie stopped and took a shaky breath in. ‘They like to… eat us.’

‘Right,’ Aubrey said, a laugh escaping her lips before she could stop it. ‘This is insane. I want to see my cousin. I want to go home!’

Lottie bit her lip, then crept over to the window on the far side of the room and opened up the curtains. ‘I’m sorry, hun, but you’re not going anywhere.’

She pushed the bed over to the window and helped Aubrey sit up more.

Outside, the sun was golden, shining through office blocks and hitting the pavement below in long, clean stripes of light. Cars were parked haphazardly on the road, and rubbish was strewn across the pavement. Then she saw them. People were congregating in the middle of the street, a dozen, maybe more. Their skin was a pale, chalky white, stretched thin over sharp ribs and protruding spines, every joint and bone stark beneath the surface like something half-starved or half-dead. At first, Aubrey thought they were just sitting there, but as her eyes adjusted, she realised they were moving. Crawling. On all fours. Their limbs jerked out at odd angles, heads snapping up and down like they were scenting the air. One of them stopped suddenly and its whole body spasmed with a violent shudder before it scuttled sideways, disappearing into the shadow of a building like a cockroach. 

‘Holy crap,’ she said, unable to look away. ‘We’re in The Walking Dead.

Suddenly, Lottie’s walkie-talkie crackled to life. ‘Brontë, this is the Doctor. CryCast going live on ninety-four point five, I repeat, ninety-four point five, over.’

Lottie perked up, running over and grabbing the walkie. ‘Copy that, Doctor. I’m with our sleeper. She’s awake, over.’

Aubrey Ernest stared out the window. The world didn’t care that she’d slept through the apocalypse, and neither did her stubborn, useless legs.

Comments & reviews · 3

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4revgreen
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Stickied · 4revgreen commented Comment · 8h ago

I'm actually thinking that this might work better as chapter one instead of the farm chapter?? let me know your thoughts!

drstellapepper wrote a review Review · 2h ago

Back for chapter two :)

I like this start and the second chapter being completely dedicated for an introduction of a character is amazing. I personally don’t find the dual narrative confusing at all! You do it smoothly.

They echoed behind her eyelids, panicked, high-pitched, cut short by the sudden grinding crunch of metal.


I thought this was good, but it’s a lot for one sentence. Replacement could be: “She heard the echoes from behind her eyelids like a high pitched ring in her ear. However, the screams were suddenly cut short by a grinding crunch of metal”… And so on. I’m very fascinated by “Grinding crunch of metal” It’s such a terrible sound to imagine, which is why it’s perfectly fitting.

I think this is the only part where the writing could be lengthened. In the start of the chapter, I think the whole happening of Aubrey waking up and trying to get up from her bed is way too long.

To describe where I think it could be better would be that: the plot feels a little bit rushed, but each sentence and paragraph alongside it is a bit too long? If that makes sense.

Where I think the plot is rushed, is for example when the nurse explains the whole situation to Aubrey. It’s a lot to take in for the reader too. And if I could just imagine, wouldn’t it be cool if Aubrey did escape the hospital, but saw all of this on her own? That it would be a longer process where person after person, maybe newsletters, could make her understand the meteor and invander thing happening. I think that would make a more powerful ahh moment for the reader.

Keep writing, 4revgreen! This could make an extremely thrilling novel!

4revgreen replied · 33m ago

thank you so much for the review. I think you're totally right that a lot of it feels rushed. This was submitted as part of my Master's course, and we had a strict word limit, so in order to focus on later parts, I really streamlined the first few chapters. On my read-through now, it's very apparent that if this were to become a proper novel, these chapters need a lot of rewriting! So thank you for all the kind feedback and advice; I'm definitely making a note of it all. I really love Aubrey, and it was hard to cut so much out for submission!

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Tikaya
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Tikaya wrote a review Review · 7h ago

Well then, since I just read Ch1, let’s head straight into Ch2 😊
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Uhmmm are you sure that you want to write that the screams are echoing behind her eyelids? When that is a visual thing usually? Unless you have a character who can “see” sound (there are brains that work like that so that’s a possibility!)

Shouldn’t it be “she had to be in a hospital”? Because we are in present tense?
Also you might want to think about changing this up to not have to adverbs right after another: “ sluggishly as she groggily“

I like how Aubrey catalogues her surroundings, quietly and intensely. That works very well to show what kind of character she is!

The word broke apart into something closer to a gargle
Oh that is such a neat description!

Hm I didn’t watch a lot of The Walking Dead, maybe only episode 1 or so. But I am kinda taken back to that distant memory of the MC waking up in a near empty hospital during the apocalypse…

I do like how you describe her struggling with her legs and eventually manually lifting them. It’s very effective in showing who she is. The lack of internal commentary works too, she’s focused and probably doesn’t want to think abt the implications too much. Very good!

Love Lottie already. Ah your writing is so effective :3

Ohhhh the creatures are adults (I was very immersed. The dialogue worked super well for me and it answered all the questions I had immediately. I have a good sense of Lotti and of Aubrey and you work on information [like how young Lottie is] really well!)… or something. Well that puts a different spin on them learning to open doors… But why do they call them invaders then, I wonder (just my musings as I try to figure this out. Very exciting!)

Ohh myyyy! The way you describe the scenery down there! That is really good!!!!

And LOL you brought the Walking Dead reference too! Only that your MC cannot walk to the next best horse (or maybe she will eventually, you described her as very stubborn after all xd)

Innnteresting. I am so curious abt who the Doctor is and if it really effected ALL the adults and how the “virus” or whatever it is decides that a person is adult enough to get affected. The brain isn’t finished growing until around 25 after all… Very peculiar and I’m looking forward to your explanations~
Also I agree, this might be a much better chapter 1. You can head into the farm after this to show how ppl who have casually lived through the apocalypse wide-awake are handling the aftermath?
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4revgreen replied · 7h ago

Thanks for catching that tense slip. 'She had to be in a hospital' would definitely work better. I think when I wrote it, 'she must be in the hospital' was supposed to be her thought inside her head, but it doesn't read like that now! Thank you so much for the review, I agree it would be a better first chapter since there's more shock at the world outside compared to the farm where they are used to it. I love that you said she needs to get to a horse 😂 when i wrote this i realised right after i finished the chapter... shoot, this is like the walking dead's first episode, i need to be careful i don't plagiarise anymore of it 😭😂

Tikaya replied · 7h ago

Well you do have the farm stuff and idr farm stuff happening in the first episode of TWD xd
(Also England is a new location so...! =D)



I’d heard he had started a fistfight in one of the seedier local taverns because someone had insisted on saying the word “utilize” instead of “use".
— Patrick Rothfuss, A Wise Man's Fear