z

Young Writers Society


12+

Lonely Love

by 2001cvs


Chapter 1

Nobody was sad to see him die, except me. James was my only friend, and I was his only friend as well. An emptiness filled the hallway where I sat, I couldn't believe it, he was dead.

I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, "Sam, it's time to go."

I clenched my fists, holding back my tears. "You killed him!" I couldn't restrain myself, "He was my only friend!"

""Part of the reason he had to go," Adrian's cold voice cut in, "I had to do it."

"No!" I screamed, "You said when you were with me we would have a no killing policy, what do you call this?"

"Sam, listen," Adrain grabbed my arm, "There's-"

"My names not Sam!" I pulled away, "you'd never understand what it is like to have a friend, Adrian. And this hurts a lot."

"Alright Samantha, I'll let you have a minute, then we have to get going." He pulled out his gold watch impatiently.

James and I had grown up with a special bond. I was an only child, he grew up with his aunt, both parents having had a tragic accident years ago. I never thought of our friendship romantically, but we were very close nonetheless. Our strong bond with, we were both believe this young children, so we stood strong together. We only had each other.

As a child, James was all adventure, he taught me almost everything I knew. Every secret, every mission, came from him. Even though he had lack of a good education, and love from his parents, he often showed an amazing love himself. I remember wondering how someone loves a little kid love so much, but I believed I was beginning to see.

---

"James!" I called, "Hurry, my Dad will be Home soon, and if he sees us like this, we're in for it!"

James quickened his pace,"Samantha wait!"

"What?" I turned around. I was starting to feel a little apprehensive. We were only 8 years old, but mud baths? My dad hated them, he hated us when we were messy.

"Samantha, let's sneak in the back door and get cleaned up, before anyone sees us."

"Okay," I slunk back, hoping I hadn't already been spotted through the windows. This adventure was almost more fun than the mud itself! One of our favorite games was spy, so we were well prepared for the mission.

I opened the door slowly, James walked in after me, I tiptoed cautiously, hey, we are pretty good at this. Dakota sniffed me distastfully, she too was caked in mud, hopefully she wouldn't give us away.

I motioned for James to follow me, we hurried to my room. "Wow! We did it" I squealed as I plopped on my bed, "That was awesome! We need to totally do that again!"

"Yeah!" James was enthusiastic about these ideas, but he didn't want me getting in trouble."hurry let's get cleaned up."

"Okay," I nodded, I guess first I need to get some clothes for you, there are-"

"Samantha, James!" My mothers voice called, she sounded angry, "What is this?"

James looked at me, his eyes large, we had been found out!

The door opened quickly, and there we were, caught in the mess. I had no shame, yes, we had mud baths, yes, we would do it again. James and I laughed together, we loved to get in trouble together, almost as much as we loved the trouble itself!

-----

But that was all gone, James was gone too. What had happened to that happy little girl and boy?

I looked over James lifeless body, a few moments ago he had been alive! To think he come here to save me! I look to his now ruffled blond hair, his blue eyes, his hands. It didn't seem possible that he was gone. I wouldn't ever forget him, He was almost like a big brother to me.

Numbly I search through his pockets, part of me felt wrong for doing so, but I wanted something to remember him by. I grabbed his wallet, hoping to find something worth keeping. I opened it up with a shaky hand, and a heart full of grief.

He was so special to me, as much as I hated to admit it, I had never wanted him to come try to find me, I never wanted him hurt. I would have done anything if only it had meant he wouldn't have come to find me!

Nothing special: money and a credit card. I sighed, Adrian would be back in a minute. I opened a pocket which has a small piece of paper, interested. I opened it, still trembling.

"Samantha, please read this, if I don't get a chance to tell you first." As I strained to finish the rest of the letter, my heart raced. "My dear, I know I never has a chance to tell you, or anything to offer, but I love you. I always have and always will."

I sobbed heavily, not because I had not known this before, but because for the first time I realized I loved him too.

Footsteps approached, Adrian was back, "Sam, we best be on our way."

I stood up shakily, I couldn't believe we had to leave him, and in a place like this.

Adrian walked over to James still form, squatting beside him he checked her pulse. Nodding silently, he looted him of the money I had left behind.

Then, grabbing a small button on James shirt, he ripped it off. He was going to add it to a long necklace that draped around his neck.

"wait," I grabbed his hand, "don't add it to your necklace, I need to take this one it's all my fault."

Adrian laughed at me, "dear girl, that's not how that works."

"please, it would make me feel better."

Adrian ignored my pleas, "Sam you belong to me not him, we need to go."

I cringed inwardly as he grabbed my hand and we began a quick jog to the car. You see, Adrian added a charm to his necklace for every life he took. It was a constant reminder of death and cruelty.

You might think that I felt extremely uncaring about the death of my dear friend. I tell you I grieved more than words can express. Had it not been for the presence of Adrian I would have been inconsolable. I had long trained myself to be strong, in this world it was everyone for themselves, so I had no choice.

I was heartbroken, the first person I loved, I lost before I realized I loved him! Was all hope gone? I didn't know, but it sure felt like it.

Adrian started the engine, and no sooner we pulled out of the alley. The open freeway seem to mock me, life looked so good and yet it was all a fake reality. I tried to ignore Adrian as he drove. doubtless, we would drive all night find a new place and try to make some quick cash. I was sick of it, sick of it all.

"Do you have any money?" Adrian asked his usual question.



I rolled my eyes, "Nope," also, my usually answer. I didn't understand why he wanted my moment anyway, he was already rich.



Sighing, he pulled into a drive-thru, "hungry?"



"No," I folded my arms defensively, "I'm not going to eat anything." I turned away, trying to hide my pain.



"How about a milkshake?" Yeah, that's sounds good, I'll get one for each of us." He made his order with his usual brisk voice.



"Look here, it was necessary," he stared at me carefully." We can't keep going on like this, every time I kill one person, you get all upset again!"
"Adrian! Can't you understand?"
He shook his head as he handed me my double chocolate milkshake. I sipped at it slowly, listening to his cold voice.



"Sam, do you know how many people live in this world?"
No, but what does that have to do with-"
"Fifty billion."
"What?"
"Fifty. Billion people live in this world, and you're upset because I killed one man! One man!"
"But-"
"Let me say it again, fifty. Billion people. Now quit your complaint and drink your milkshake."
Silently I obeyed, slurping it loudly, hoping on the inside that I was annoying him. All the drama, my head was aching, and I was so tired. I couldn't believe Adrian had killed my only friend, but James was more than a friend, he was, a very close friend? No, that didn't see me get either, but I knew I would miss him deep in my heart. And here we were! Drinking milkshakes like nothing had happened!

"Adrian, I hate you." I spit out buttery, my own words surprise me. "I hate you so much, you ruined my life, and you ruined James' life, and I will never forgive you."

"Of course you won't forgive me," Adrian laughed, "One day, you Willa thank me for it "

"Adrian! Don't you hear what you're saying? I loved him, and you killed him! You said you would take care of me!" I dabbed at the tears in my eyes, I held back, I wasn't about to start crying in front or Adrain! Married or not, I would hate him forever.

"Well, maybe I couldn't take the Rivalry anymore, he had a better chance than me don't you know ." He winked at me.

I turned away, hurt. Adrain joked at my pain, he laughed at my tears. I wanted James, he loved me, and would have pulled me close and told me he would never let anything hurt me. Not Adrian, I wished I could have been a million miles away from him, but instead, here we were in the car together.

Adrian knew that the police would soon be after us. Or should I say, they would soon be after him. My mind flew through the endless possibilities, maybe, the police would find him this time. Maybe, Adrian made a mistake and the police would rescue me. There were many unknowns, I wanted to be certain of something!

Whether or not, the police found Adrian, I knew of all he lives Adrian took, James' would live with me the longest.



Adrian pulled out of the parking lot, and eased the car back into the road. He seemed so calm, so peaceful, even though moment before he had taken a human life! It wasn't anger that I felt at that moment, but fear. I had to live with a man who killed people, and felt no guilt. I shuddered in my seat.
I closed my eyes, trying to forget everything, I wanted those memories gone; every one of them. Deep down inside, I knew James had been my last hope, nobody else was looking for me. I would have to spend the rest of my life with Adrian, the killer.



Adrian interrupted my thoughts, " Guess we better find a place to sleep." he clicked his fingers on the wheel, humming as he drove.



"Good," I Yawned, "a hot shower sounds good about now. " my long hair was tangled around my neck with sweat and dirt.



Adrian smirked at me, as he pulled up the motel.



"What are the Plans for tomorrow?" I asked



"That's none of your business," Adrian snapped, "is the luggage still in the trunk?"



"Yeah,"
"Good, let's head inside."
I climbed out of the car, I hadn't realized how shaky I was right now. I felt like my legs could barely hold my weight. Exhausted, I waited as Adrian paid for our room.



I marched down the small hallway, Adrian close behind me. He let out a short laugh.
"What?" I was annoyed.
"Nothing, its just too quiet its funny."
"I happen to enjoy it very much when you don't talking."



He laughed again, enjoying my pain. "I love to see angry sweetheart," he pulled my blonde braids.
I pushed him roughly and ran into the room. Adrian reminded my a lot like a little grade boy, still so so immature.
"Oh, come on Sam," Now he was upset too, "you're no fun."
I ignored his taunts, and found my way into the shower first. Not only did it give me time to clean myself, but as hot showers often do, it cleared my mind too.



I flopped on my bed miserably, everything ached, I wondered how long could I really do it? I knew I had signed up for life, but silently i prayed to God it would not be so.



Adrian later down in his bed Near mine, "Well Sam, ready for some shuteye?"



"Were not sleeping till you use my real name," I felt stubborn tonight, I would have my way with this.
"Fine, Samantha King, nighty night?"
"Whatever." I rolled over and closed my eyes. Adrian flipped off the light. even in this dark place, I did have one comfort, God. God still loved me, and gave me strength. Adrian didn't know that kind of love though, for all I knew, Adrian had never felt love at all. I mean really, who could love Adrian?
I rolled over to face him, "Adrian, have you ever felt love?"
click, the lights were back on.



"What?"
"Well, like James sided trying to save me today. That's a lot of love. ."
"James died because he was stupid. Don't lie to yourself, Sam. "
"Or did he die because you are too loose with that trigger finger?" I questioned him seriously
"James made his own choice, "Adrian mocked me, "and I made mine, and look who's still alive.".
"James is."
"He's dead, Sam."



"No, he's in heaven." I bit my lip, trying to hide not to cry as Adrain rolled his eyes.



"See here, I know it sounds comforting and all, but this heaven you talk about, it's a fairytale. How are those bible stories any different than the ones I learned? They're not and you know it."



"Adrian! That's not true. You see-"
"I'm not done!" He cut me off. There. Is no. God."



"Adrian, you believe there is no God. So what happens when you die?"
"I...I don't know.." He shifted uncomfortably. "I guess, to nonexistence."
"you don't believe that and you know it,"



"Yes, yes Sam I do. We're going to sleep now Though."
" one more thin-"
"No, Were sleeping now."
he slipped put out of bed, I fell asleep to the sound of his footsteps going up and down the hall.

my silent tears filled the room, hand over my mouth, my body shook, why? Would I ever even be able to escape? No, it was impossible. I could never leave, I couldn't call the police. I knew the consequences, Adrian knew threats, and that's exactly why I couldn't leave. I was stuck, and now, I was alone.



The alarm went off, I rolled of groggily, morning had a way of always coming too soon. The last days events were still fresh in my mind, I wanted to sleep forever to try to block it out. I missed my friend, I missed those memories, I missed the hope of making new ones. My head pounded as I tried to pull myself out of bed. The tears from the night before were still flowing, I tried to wipe them away so I could see what I was doing.



"I want to leave by 7:30." Adrian told me.
I nodded comprehensively, as I reached for my small bag. I dig through it trying to find something appropriate for a long day of travel. When I had left home in such a hurry, I really hadn't packed well. I pulled out a pair of jeans, at this point I guessed they were my best option, and i didn't care what I looked like anyway.
Adrian watched me as I pulled through my bag, he always watched me like a hawk. Almost like I was planning an escape, that was one of the things I hated the most, I felt like an animal in a cage. Adrian seemed to forget I was a real person sometimes. I clenched my fists, I hated Adrian! He ruined my life! I wished Adrian Would die, I wished I could escape, but wishing did nothing. Here we were, and here James wasn't.



I brushed my hair slowly, even Adrian in the background watching me didn't hurry me up today. I took my precious time. There was nothing exciting or good about to happen today, why hurry?



Except God, even in those dull moments I knew He was with me, but James...wasn't. All my life he had been with me, and now just when I needed him most, he was gone! Forever! His caring personality, his laugh, his amazing jokes, never ever to be with me again. I felt an empty hole in my heart, I knew nothing would ever fill it.



We headed for the car, the chilly day made me pull my jacket closer, spring was coming soon. still, I felt like it would never be warm and bright again.
one thing I didnt like, I knew Adrian was going to sell the car. He had to, or the police would be able to track him too easy. We always changed the way we did things, so we didn't get found.

Sometimes, it was the train, or by car, or bus and Sometimes by plane. It was always changing.

I remembered how James had been killed last night, in that old warehouse. what if nobody ever discovered his body for several days? He wouldn't even get a proper funeral, it only made it worse.
"Where are we going?" I asked as Adrien slammed on the gas.



Chapter 2

I sighed, looking out my window, "where are we going now?"

"home." He responded, "haven't been there in awhile."

home! The thought sent my hopes soaring! I missed my Mom and Dad so much! I would do anything to see them again!

"Yeah, I have a great house in California, it pretty much the best thing ever, anything you could ever want, and more. Best of all, no more traveling for several weeks-." Adrian continued to ramble, but I wasn't listening.

Adrian's house was no more a home than this car was! I didn't understand how he could be like this! I was in so much pain, I pulled at my hair hoping to ease some of the ache in my head. I closed my eyes trying not to let the tears fall anymore. I had cried so much, I just felt empty, and I couldn't cry anymore.

We pulled into the car dealers, and Adrian got out hoping to make a deal. I gathered up my things, ready to get out of the car. I wiped my eyes one more time, trying to hide the fact That inside my heart was breaking.

. Adrian sold the car easily enough, he wasn't worried about making money. He worried that we got out quick, and that the police didn't find us.

he tossed me his phone, "Call a cab," then quieter he said, "and no one else, or you know the punishment."

I nodded and dialed the number, my hands shaking. I tried to steady my voice as I told the person on the other end what I needed.Within minutes our taxi had arrived, and we climbed in. I was slow, and steady, I tried to not to let on how much I was Hurting. I wiped my eyes as I stared blankly out the window. I was ready to bed this murder trip, it was like an unending real life nightmare. Silently I prayed it would end soon.

"Take us to the airport," Adrian told the driver as he buckled himself up. "If you get us there by 8:30 I'll pay you double, we're running late for our flight." It always surprised me how loose Adrian was with his money.

The cabby smiled, excited for the challenge, "sure thing mister, I'll have ya there in a jiffy." He puffed at his cigar as drove. "Where ya'll headed to?"

"My house in Washington," Adrian lied instinctively. "me and my wife are getting back from our honeymoon. He sent a smile in my direction. I was too tired to care about Adrian's lie, besides, the last part was true enough.

I tucked my bag into the upper compartment, I usually enjoyed flying, but today I was too sad. I felt heartbroken. . The everyday joy of life was gone, all my family and friends were gone. I say done in my seat, I felt crushed. There was nothing worthwhile to live for anymore. Adrian was rambling about how me I would like his house, "it's big and beautiful." He told me proudly did not imagine something beautiful, I imagined something, dark and scary. Dead bodies hiding around corners? Maybe. I shrunk back, I didn't want to go there. I wanted to stay in a little ball and never talk to anyone ever again, but that wasnt wasn't possible.

When I had left home so suddenly, I hadn't been able to say byeto my parents, or to anyone. I hadn't been able to talk with them since. It was scary, a 17 year old girl traveling the country, married to a man she had not known for a couple of months. I felt crazy. I felt lost and alone

.

I had always lived in a wealthy family, my Dad worked in real estate. One day, somehow my Dad came into possession of very valuable property. We were rich, richer than I had even known to dream.

That's where Adrian comes in, his job is to...steal that money, and he does it by murder. Of course, Adrian didn't kill my parents, but that's what he had wanted. Now I wasn't sure, wasn't sure of the future. With everything so settled, I was only sure of one thing; the promise I had made to Adrian. The promise was, I wouldn't ever tell anyone, I wouldn't run away. In return, Adrian wouldn't hurt anyone I loved. I wasn't sure If I could trust Adrian anymore, he had already killed James, so he had broken the promise. I felt afraid, should I break my promise? What if Adrian tried to hurt my family anyway?

I turned my thoughts to the flight, I was trying hard not to cry, not to show Adrian how much he had hurt me. It felt like he just kept ripping open the same wound, and there was no time for healing. I wondered f I would ever heal fully.

As awkward as this situation was, married to the person in he world I hated the most. I wanted to get to know Adrian, and I told him So.

He scratched his chin, "yeah, I guess we do need to get to know each other.. I've never tried to do that with anyone before."

oh boy, this was going to be interesting.

"my parents died in a plane crash when I was three."

What? Why would he tell me that right now of all times?

"So I lived in a orphanage my whole life."

Kind of like James, I guess I could relate....No! I didn't have any sympathy for Adrian, he was a cruel heartless man.

"All my life I tried to do things well," he continued solemnly, "but t was never good enough. Nobody ever cared whether I died, or lived. I hated my life. So when I turned 18 I moved out, and tried working for awhile and holding down a job. Nothing was working out, so, I decided if no one cares about me, I don't care about them either." his tone was so bitter.

"Now I can help people." He finished off briskly

"What? Adrian are you insane? You're not helping anybody you, you're crazy!"

"I do! I donate a lot of my money to charity. I help everyone."

"Killing isn't helping anyone." I replied, pulling back away. I didn't want to talk anymore. "One day your going to feel sorry for all the lives you have taken, especially James. One day you'll apologize to me."

Even the idea of Adrian changing surprised me. I knew it would never happen, not in a million years.

Adrian laughed, "No, one day, you will thank me."

Tears welled up in my eyes, I wiped them away with my sleeve.

"James was a threat, he had your heart, but Sam, your mine. He challenged me, and what was a supposed to let you two lovebirds do?"

I turned away, I had to hide these emotions. It was all my fault. James did love me, and it was my fault that he was dead. Guilt flooded me from all over, there was no way to fix this, even if James wasn't dead, I was still married to Adrian. I still had my promise.

The rest of the flight was tense, I was struggling to keep my tears from falling. I had to be strong, there was no other choice. I relieved some of my favorite memories with James, his free flowing blond hair, I would miss him, so much! I wasn't sure if I would make it! Even when he wasn't with me, I used to comfort myself that he was thinking of me, but now he wasn't.

. I was glad when we finally landed, as I stepped out onto the Californian soil, felt Adrian's pride. It was beautiful. I wasn't enjoying it too much though. My head pounded furiously. I wasn't in any mods to take in the landscape. I wanted to sleep away my troubles.

When we pulled up at Adrian's house I was shocked, it was breathtaking. Nothing like what I had ever imagined! It wasn't dark and nightmarish, it actually looked, beautiful and...peaceful. Adrian hurried me inside, I wiped my eyes one last time, trying to look presentable. If I was about to meet anyone new I didn't want my first impression to be a teary eyed face.

We stepped inside the foyer, and I didn't know what to say. It was amazing. even in those sad moments I couldn't help but see how cool the place I was about to live in was. Wait, I reminded myself, you're supposed to be sad, your not allowed to be happy, your friend is gone..

. "Peter, go get Arianna and Daniel." Adrian ordered quickly. Peter hurried to get them both. I stood awkwardly waiting

. This was my new house, these were new people, I wasn't ready for this.

. "Arianna, Daniel, Peter, this is my new wife, Samantha." Adrian introduced me To the staff. They all nodded, I couldn't tell if they were happy or not, but they sure looked surprised. small wonder, they were probably wondering how Adrian found a wife. I knew how, blackmail.

"Arianna, take Mrs. King to our room." Adrian told the girl, then to me, "Sam I'll be there in a minute.."Arianna took my bag and led the way up the steps. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, I wanted to burst into tears.

Arianna was a young girl, a few years younger than me, but the first thing I noticed when I saw her, this girls really pretty.'That type. She was short, and she had a small frame. she carried herself up the steps, I was actually surprised that she was able to pick up my bag so easily. She was just so...cute.

Arianna opened the door to my room, "Mrs. King, this is your room." She had a tiny voice too.

I stepped in, and flopped on he big bed, first things first, take of the shoes. It was a huge room, and it looked like several others led off of it. I tried to focus on what I was trying to do. I dug through my purse looking for some medicine for my headache. I swallowed the pills in one gulp .

"Uh..Mrs King?"

"yeah? Oh and you can call me Samantha!"

"okay, would you like me to unpack your bags?" She asked shyly

"Sure," I replied, "I guess we can get to know one an other this way." I was trying hard to act normal, trying...

Arianna looked like she wanted to laugh, but she was too polite for that, "oh, okay."

Was she just shy or did she not want to talk to me?

I shrugged, pulling open my suitcase. "Wow I need to do some shopping." I said slowly, looking at all my things. They were beat up by so much use.

Ariana nodded, " yeah I can help you. There are a lot of good stores in San Fransisco, maybe sometime this weekend we could go shopping and I'll help show you around."

"That sounds great." I replied shoving random articles in the drawers. I wasn't sure if id be allowed to go.

"By the way, Do you live here?"

"umm, yeah I have a room downstairs...sometimes I'm go-"

"cool." I cut her off accidentally. I think I'm scaring her, I need to be cool. It was pretty obvious this Arianna was a pretty quiet girl. She smiled and relapsed into silence.

"Well," I said abruptly, "Have you worked here a long time?"

"About a year now." She smiled and kept working.

"How old are you?"

"I'll be 20 in a month." Her brown eyes sparkled.

"Wow. I'm 17, but I'll be 18 in June." I explained. I felt so young, too young to be married for sure.

"Really?" she asked, "I would never have been allowed to get married that young." she giggled nervously

I tried to laugh it off, I had to act normal. Arianna was a nice girl, we might even be friends. She was kinda girly, and I was a little, well, more like a tomboy. I wanted to explain why I had gotten married so young, but according to my promise, I wasn't allowed. So silence was my only choice.

Adrian interrupted the room. He was in a sort of a mood today where I didnt want to talk to him, but I was interested in what he was going to say. "Arianna, I'll finish helping Mrs King unpack. You can go."

She left, I was disappointed. She was the nicest person I had talked to in weeks, besides James of course.

"Well, what do you think? Do you love my beautiful house? Now I have everything I need." He smiled at me, "beautiful house,beautiful wife, that's a happy life." He winked.

"Adrian, I think the saying is, happy wife happy life." I was annoyed, he didn't have a happy wife.

"Well, what do you think of the house?" He asked again, ignoring me.

"Its nice, I havent really looked. We just unpacked."

"Oh, are you ready for the grand tour?"

"Adrian, I want to take a nap first, I'm so tired."

"what? No come on, I want you see this." he showed me room after room, I was sick and tired and my heart felt broken. My whole body was aching, and my stomach hurt from a the crying I had done. The last room Adrian showed me was obviously his favorite, the library. I hadn't ever seen so many books! I tried not to get dizzy as I looked up at the thousands of covers in front of me. My mind swam. I didn't know Adrian read a lot, I knew that once. I got to feeling better I would spend a lot more time in this room.

"There's not really enough space." Adrian told me, "I can't fit everything I want."

He was right, every shelf was lined tightly, I knew it would take someone a lifetime to read all those books.

"I'm not sure how I'm going to remember where everything is." I told Adrian tiredly. I was feeling depressed. "My mind is too cluttered right now!"

Adrian laughed, " I guess for the average mind, it could be a little overwhelming. I've never had any problems though."

"Implying you have an above average mind?"

"Yes, I like to think so."

"whatever Adrian"

"well, I'm living a lot better than most people in this world that's for sure."

"By the way, am I allowed to go out of the house this weekend" it wasn't really by the way, but it worked, and it changed the subject too.

"What why?"

"I wanted to go shopping with Arianna."

"We'll see about that." He responded.

My heart sunk, that probably meant no. After dinner i hurried to my room, I was tired, and felt like I was going to throw up. I was devastated when I realized Adrain followed me right up. I had just wanted some privacy. I sat on the big bed and thought about my life. What was going to happen? There was nothing that was certain, was I really going to live here for the rest of my life?

I missed my Mom and Dad, it kind of struck me, I missed my Dad. See, I loved my Dad and all, but I didn't know him very well, he wasn't around a lot, he was too busy for children. Or should I say, child. I was his only child, and I never saw him. I missed him now though, I missed him smoking his pipe some evenings, and his short little beard.

More than my Dad, I missed my Mom, I was super close with my Mom, and I knew she would do anything in this world to get me back. I wondered if I would ever get to see them again were they still looking for me? Adrian and I had been married for three months now, and I still remembered our wedding day. I still remember when he told me I had a choice to make. Marry him, or let my parents die. It was hard, but I knew what I had to do, and Adrian promised he would never hurt me. I be honest, I knew I couldn't trust him, he had already broken part of his deal, that he wouldn't hurt anyone I loved. I was hoping for the best.

I looked up, Adrian was packing his bags, "Where are you going?"

"To San Fransisco," he replied, "I have several things I need to do, Ill be back tomorrow afternoon."

Wow, I hadn't expected that, I was going to be alone for several hours! I wold have time to sleep, and try to regain my composure!

"Will you be okay by yourself, Sam?"I cringed as he mispronounced my name again,

"Yeah I'll be fine." He walked over to the bed, I stiffened, hoping nothing wold get too weird.

"Goodnight Sam," he kissed my head and hurried out. I wiped off the kiss disgusted. At least I was alone! Well, maybe I could use this as an opportunity to escape..I formed a plan in my mind quickly. .If Adrian wasnt keeping his promise I wasn't either. My hands shook as I hurried over to the door, I was ready for my escape, but I was scared, tired, and I wasn't thinking strait. Waiting a moment, I then slowly turned the Knob. it. Was. Locked.

Anger. So much anger, why was it like this? I hated Adrian, he took my best friend, my love. He took me away from my family, from my home. I hated him. I wanted to hurt him, but I couldn't. I knew I would never have to gut to take care of him. I knew I needed to escape, but i couldn't. The door was locked! I tried everything I could come up with, nothing wild unlock that door. Prying and tugging, it was stuck. I turned my back lack against the door, why couldn't anything work out right? Why me? Why did my life have to be like this? I just wanted a normal life, I had wanted to fall in love to the man of my dreams, but here I was, Stuck in a room, stuck in a marriage, stuck with Adrian.

Then, I remembered something. The balcony! I opened the door and looked over the edge, it was high, but I had an idea. Why not tie the sheets together and make a rope to lower myself down? I started my rope, but was disappointed to find I only had two sheets, how did normal people do this? Two sheets didn't make a long enough rope...I tied some blankets in as well. Anything worked. I tied the rope around the banister of the balcony and the other end around my waist. My heartbeat quickened with apprehension, what if the rope didn't hold? What if Adrian somehow found me? He was gone, so Everything was going to beOkay.

I started to lower myself down, slowly, the rope seemed to beholding. Two stories seems a lot higher when you're lowering yourself down with a rope made of Bed sheets. I was about 6 feet from the ground when it happened, I lost all strength, I was going to drop. Okay, it's okay, it's only a couple of feet, I'll be fine I kept reassuring myself.

I let go and fell into the bushes below, pain instantly covered my body. I had made it, I untied the rope, and stood up. I prayed in my head, I wouldn't be found, I couldn't be found. my mind reeled, I tried to remember the next part of my plan, find the police? Right. As I stood up I felt blood running down my legs, and my whole body was aching. Undeterred, I stood up, ready to keep going.

. Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me.


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Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:45 am
pixelstick wrote a review...



This is a really interesting story so far, it has a lot of potential. However, there are some problems. The main problem is the spelling and grammar, but the easiest way to fix that is to go over your writing after you've finished writing it and correct any mistakes you find. You could also get an editing program that does it automatically. Grammarly's pretty good and free. The word choice is a bit redundant as well, especially with the word 'cringed'. The transition from the cab to the plane was a bit rough but other than that this is an enticing story that I definitely want more of! :^)




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Fri Mar 31, 2017 1:13 pm
2001cvs says...



Also, I know I left a lot of questions, and unanswered stuff. I was hoping that I would be able to show that a sk advanced the plot in the next few chapters, but do you think I left ok much out?




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Fri Mar 31, 2017 1:07 pm
2001cvs says...



Also, does anybody have a gootitle idea for the story? I really want to change it, but don't have any good ideas. Thanks!




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11 Reviews


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11 Reviews


Points: 372
Reviews: 11

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11 Reviews


Points: 372
Reviews: 11

Donate

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11 Reviews


Points: 372
Reviews: 11

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Fri Mar 31, 2017 4:30 am
GreenTulip wrote a review...



Hello, Tulip here to give you a review on your chapter tonight!

I thought that it was interesting on how Samantha knew that Adrian was a killer but didn't do anything about it.

The pain she felt about James' death was written well, but I would put more emphasis on it. After all, she just lost one of her closest friends and that hits very hard. Her interaction with Adrian after a while seems like she's okay with it, but I know she isn't. I would be a lot more stubborn and angry with the person.

I would suggest that you go back through this and space it out more. I found myself rereading parts because everything was too close together.

I'm now going to suggest some edits, which you can take or leave.

Edits

I clenched my fists, holding back my tears, "you killed him!" I couldn'ti restrain myself, "he was my only friend!"


* I clenched my fists, holding back my tears. "You killed him!" I couldn't restrain myself, "He was my only friend!"
- This reads a lot easier with the words capitalized in the speech.

Nothing special, money, credit card. I sighed,, Adrian would be back in a minute. I opened a pocket which had a small piece of paper, interested, I opened it while still trembling. .


* Northing special: money and a credit card. I sighed, Adrian would be back in a minute. I opened a pocket which has a small piece of paper, interested. I opened it, still trembling.

- Fixing the wording in a few spots and some punctuation, for me feels like it runs a little smoother.

"Samantha, please read if I don't get a chance to tell you first,"
My heartbeat as I strained to read the rest of the letter.
"my dear Samantha, I know I never had a chance or anything to offer but I love you have, always will. Yours forever- James."


* "Samantha, please read this, if I don't get a chance to tell you first." As I strained to finish the rest of the letter, my heart raced. "My dear Samantha, I know I never has a chance to tell you, or anything to offer, but I love you. I always have and always will."

- This combines the three sections that you had together and fixed some of the wording. To me how you phrased some of it was confusing and this is how I would suggest fixing it.

Whether or not, the police found Adrian, I knew of all he lives Adrian took, James' would love with me the longest.


* Whether or not the police found Adrian, I knew all of the lives he took. James' would live with me the longest.

- Fixed spelling and just some punctuation.

Adrian pulled out of the parking lot, and eased the car back into the road. He seemed so calm, so peaceful, even though moment before he had taken a human life! It wasn't anger that I felt at that moment, but fear. I had to live with a man who killed people, and felt no guilt. I shuddered in my seat.


* Adrian pulled out of the parking lot and eased the car back onto the road. He seemed so calm, so peaceful, even though moments before he had taken a human life! It wasn't anger I felt at that moment, but fear. I had to live with a man who killed people and didn't feel any guilt. I shuddered in my seat.


I hoped that my review helped!

Keep calm and write on!
~Tulip :D~




2001cvs says...


Thank you so much for your review! I know there are quite a few spelling/wording/ punctuation errors. Is there any way I can fix those using an app or something? I am not very good at finding them myself %uD83D%uDE1D I will try to fix a bunch of those things you suggested, and hope it turns out better next time.



GreenTulip says...


I use Grammarly for Google Chrome, and even without the Premium membership it will show a lot of the basic spelling and grammar errors. I love using it when I switch from Google Docs (Not supported with Grammarly) to here.



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Fri Mar 31, 2017 4:22 am
PrincessInk wrote a review...



Hi and welcome to YWS!

The concept you presented in this chapter immediately intrigued me. It made me wonder why Samantha was stuck with Adrian, why Adrian shot him, why he's a killer. Your chapter was rather hard to read because the paragraphs weren't separated so neatly, and I would like to have bigger spaces between paragraphs. I also thought there wasn't so much setting here. A little more description would improve this I believe.

Samantha's really really sad and angry about James's death, it seems. I didn't really connect so much to Samantha and because I don't know James so much, it honestly didn't make me so sad to see him die. Perhaps it's because you killed James so early in the story that it lost its effect. Perhaps work a bit on Samantha's emotions, because like I said before I didn't see the "strength" of her sadness.

Adrian and Samantha's relationship is rather unhealthy. Still, I felt odd that Samantha's fury and grief didn't stay with her the next morning. It was as if she woke up anew, to a new day. I can tell she's always docile to James, but I still feel that her anger went away too quickly. Imagine what would you would feel if someone you were travelling with killed your friend! Yeah, she's definitely scared and I wonder if she'll eventually run away someday. Adrian is definitely evil--from what I've seen. Still, perhaps her fear will creep into the dialogue with Adrian?

You established the unhealthy relationship really well and I think Samantha's and Adrian's developments were pretty good and distinct. Still, perhaps you might need to tweak a bit of the emotions but overall, interesting story!

~Princess Ink~




2001cvs says...


Thank you for your review! This was my first story I've ever written, and so I'm just so happy to get so comments on it! I will try to fix some of the things you said, those are very helpful, and hopefully I will be able to fix them for a better story :)




It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
— Walt Disney