Hungry Hearts
We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry
Hoping it will hide the pain
Trying to forget the grief
To move on and live again
To find that one relief
We want to live and enjoy our lives
Playing with our loved one
Singing in the rain
Just trying to have fun
But our hearts are hungry again
Why not eat the lies? They come the easiest.
When our hearts are sad
They are the easiest to digest
We want to live in happiness,
But under these lies we can't
We have to move on
But our hearts are hungry again
We struggle night and day
To find the perfect right
But what we really need the most
Won't come without a fight
Our hearts are hungry, why not feed?
But not on lies
And not on greed
Our hearts are hungry again
hearts are hungry, I know why
We haven't eaten anything but lies.
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,597 Reviews
I love it. I think the message comes through loud and clear. And rhyming never heart anyone. It isn't easy for a message to come across with simple poetry such as this but I believe you captured it.
Just wanted to point out, on the last our hearts you put are instead of our. Simple mistake but I thought I'd let you know.
Really loved the poem
Thank you for your reply! It means so much! Honestly I wouldn't have been that dissapointed if no one liked it because it just came to me in the middle of the night and I wrote the whole thing in about to minutes %uD83D%uDE02 Thank you for pointing out that mistake
Hiiiiiiiii! Ferruccio here for review time so lets do this!
First of all, your basis was pretty good, but you could try and make it clearer what philosophy were you facing. I know people with different opinions would oppose you but it's still pretty good. Maybe you could elaborate a bit on the depression and the pressure, otherwise it's awesome.
Keep up the good work, and I'll see myself out. I hope this review helped, because I only nitpicked from the rest. One more thing-it feels a bit bland, so don't be scared to use imagery in your work.
Thank you for your comments
This was my first poem, and I just wrote it on a whim so thank you for your kindness. I will try to work on some of the things you suggested %uD83D%uDC4D%uD83C%uDFFC