Chapter 3
I knew where we were going now. Hal was taking me up to the castle. I wondered why, though.
“I reckon you know where we are?” Hal asked me. I simply nodded. “Why are we going up to the castle?” I asked. “Do you need to get something?”
“We're not just going to the castle,” he said. “We’re going to the throne of King Lucius himself. I have a favor to ask him.”
“Why did you bring me?” I asked.
“You will see when we get there, young one. For now, enough questions.”
I left it at that. I didn’t want to irritate this man if he thought I was good enough to be a warrior of some sort.
When we arrived the king looked pretty worried at the sight of Hal. “Yes… Hal,” King Lucius said in a weary tone. “Are you sure? Is this him now?” the king asked.
“Yes,” Hal responded, pointing at me.
“What? What about me?” I asked. They both ignored me.
“Bring him closer, I want to look at him,” the king ordered.
Hal took my shoulder and escorted me closer to the king. He looked me over. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, indeed. This one does look as though he has the qualities.”
“Shall the arrangements be made?” Hal asked. “At once,” whispered the king.
Hal took me to some room below the castle. It looked like some sort of dungeon. “What’s going on?” I asked.
“Don’t worry,” Hal said. “We’re not going to kill you.” He told me to give him my wrist. He felt it and then set it back down. “Just the right size,” he mumbled. He went through some drawers and I heard metal clanking around. Eventually he pulled out a kind of metal contraption. It looked like a metal glove, but the bottom was gone except for a bar, I guess you were supposed to hold on to.
He fit it on my wrist and it felt good on my palm, like it belonged. “So… what is this?” I asked. Before he answered he pulled a screw driver out of the drawers.
“Now what?” I asked.
“Now, I tighten it.”
“So you’re going to, like, tighten the parts together so it fits better? What even is this?”
“This is a weapon,” he said checking the size of his screw driver.
“What kind of weapon fits on your hand?” I asked.
“It’s called a claw,” he said putting the screw driver in the little circle in the top of the weapon.
“I’ve never seen one of these before.”
“That’s because you’ve never seen a Silver Hero before.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“That’s what you are… NOW!” he jammed the screw driver into the hole and I felt a jolting pain all the way up my arm, forcing a loud scream in agony. Everything I see shook around and rumbled, making close my eyes. However, I could not stop the ringing deafening my ears.
“What?!” I yelled in question. After the pain went away I got mad. “Why did you do that?” I asked. “What even is a Silver Hero? I never signed up to be one!”
“It is the forgotten class, and by accepting the claw, you have become one,” he answered.
“I didn’t accept anything! I want to be a Sky Breaker! That’s why I came to your house!” I said. I was steaming.
“You have other qualities that suit you for this role. Now come on, the king requests our audience for something.”
I unhappily followed Hal. I never knew there was another warrior called the Silver Hero. I guess it was kind of cool, because there weren’t a lot of them. Maybe I could get used to this. I wonder how the claw on my wrist was a weapon though. I wrapped my fist around the bar that was going to be on my palm forever more.
Chapter 4
We walked into the throne room once again. The King glanced at my arm and rubbed his chin.
“I’m guessing you have officially made your choice?” the king asked Hal.
“Indeed, your majesty,” Hal responded with a bow.
I then noticed 5 other kids in the throne room. The one in front was tall and muscular with shaggy brown hair. The one next to him was a girl with blond hair. She was wearing leather clothes. The kid next to her was a male around my height with straight black hair and rough metal shoulder pads. Next to him was a guy with short light brown hair and freckles covering his face. He looked a little shorter than me. Then on the end was a girl with dark brown hair and an attitude look on her face. She was almost as tall as the first guy. She wore a ton of armor just like the first guy too.
I knew in an instant what they all were. The first guy was a Sky Breaker, next was a Dawn Knight, then a Dusk Killer, a Blaze Eater and last was an Ice Warrior.
Hal guided me inside the throne room with his hand on my shoulder. Everyone seemed to have their eyes locked on me. Everyone seemed to scowl at me—even the king—except the short kid with freckles, who seemed to be grinning widely since I first saw him.
“I trust you know why you’re here, Hal?” Lucius asked still leering at me.
“Erm,” Hal started. He quickly caught himself, because to mumble in front of the king was against the law here. “I fear I do not know, your majesty.” The King took his eyes off of me and glared at Hal now.
The King got up from his chair and walked half way around the room. We all turned to his direction as he made his way around the room. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “You seven will be going away soon,” Lucius finally answered.
“For what reason?” Hal said.
“One of the men being held captive in the jails of the Crimson Castle has escaped. He’s very powerful, and will take the best trainee of all six jobs to defeat him.”
Everyone looked at me, some irritated, others still smiling.
“Seeing as you’re the only trainee from the Silver Hero class, you will be joining the others in this hunt,” the king said with a slight grin.
“But, your majesty,” Hal said. “Drake has no experience, and he just received his claw today. He will need a day or two to rest his arm.”
“The hunt must leave immediately in the morning, while the whereabouts of the jail breaker are still known.”
“How long ago was this, your majesty?”
“It was around an hour ago, Hal.”
“Then we should probably leave at once. We cannot have this man terrorizing any people!” Hal said aloud and, once again, grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me back to the basement I so bitterly remembered as cabin twelve.
The barren room was electrifying. The entire atmosphere made me feel a little vigorous.
I was meaning to ask Hal what happened back there, but the thought sort of left my mind.
I couldn’t help but think about Lucius. The king always struck me as a peculiar person. It was the way he used his walk and how he mumbled things to himself sometimes. I guess it was my imagination. Hal seemed to trust the guy, so I guess I had to now too.
As if reading my mind, Hal brought up the subject of the king.
“King Lucius knows what he’s talking about when he sends us on these missions, Drake. I think you should have a little more faith in him.”
“I understand,” I said. Then I forced the question out. “So what exactly are we going to do on this hunt?”
“Well,” he started. “This is no ordinary hunt. It’s not often the king sends the best of each class we have available.
Especially considering you have no training in combat or otherwise, this must be urgent. I suggest you pack food and clothing for the trip, and I will receive word on where it is we are going. The king made it important that you children don’t know. Whatever his reasons, I suppose they’re for your own good.”
“Hal,” I said. “One more thing. This hunt, would it actually be considered a hunt? It seems a little more important than that for some reason. I think I heard something once in school about an important hunt being called something, but I forgot what.”
Hal seemed to think on these words.
“I didn’t think of it like that,” he said. Then he rubbed his chin and turned away. “Of course,” he mumbled more or less to himself. “This is no ordinary hunt, this is an expedition. This is the first expedition we’ve had in fifty years.”
On that note, Hal left the cabin.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi there,

Well well well, the plot thickens. I'm very interested to know where this is going. *strokes imaginary beard*
Mistakes
We're
Correct it as "I felt a jolting pain all the way up my left arm"
Connect these two sentences so that it would be like, ""I felt a jolting pain all the way up my left arm, making me scream in agony"
"think"
Plot
I like the development of the plot that you have achieved in these two chapters. It's turning out to be something quite unexpected and unique. I'm impressed by the plot that you've devised here, and I'm sure I'll be more impressed once you write the next chapters. Well done.
Descriptions
Here, the descriptions were better than the 2nd chapter but still needs some progress and development. It still doesn't seem realistic enough because you are hurrying through the story without giving much attention to the outside environment the characters are in. Please see into this.
Character description
Still your main character is faceless. Please include some physical characteristic of him. Other wise, it would be very hard to change the ideas of the reader about your character. Because most readers tend to imagine what they want when there are no character descriptions.
Overall
I think these were two good chapters, but please see into the facts I mentioned.
Good luck, hoping to read the next chapters.
-C-