Two guys kissing.
Two girls kissing.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Hey! It's joallover, creeping people's works! You're up!
So, I wasn't sure if I wanted to review this because I wasn't sure if I knew what I wanted to say about it. I decided to anyway!
So, this was a while ago, yes, but it's still very relevant. I think with this font structure, if you expanded it a bit, it could be a very, very memorable poem. As it is, I'd want this on a picture for me to put on facebook as my cover photo. I hope that doesn't sound rude, I'm sorry if it does! I don't mean for it to!
I like the font growing bigger as if to say that it's a growing population, the smaller font like you could ignore it, but as it grows, it gets harder and harder to ignore, then in the end, the message of embracing the 'problem' as exactly what it is, a solution, is impossible to ignore as well.
I like it!
If you were to expand it a bit, though, you could even have it with the smaller font, then expand on it, then after a few lines, the bigger font, after a few lines, the biggest font, repeat.
That's just my suggestion, and I know that it can get a bit frustrating when people say "you need expand on this" when you sit there saying "how am I supposed to do that?" so I understand if you ignore my suggestion! Haha it is a great idea with the fonts though. Good job!
-joallover
I'm not offended at all; feel free to actually use it xD.
Thanks for the awesome review, and for reveiwing so many of my works--you're awesome!
Hello, happy review day!
At first I really didn't get the overall message you were portraying but upon re-read, I suddenly realised that you were telling us that we should accept homosexuality. I love the format that you use to get the message across. I can just picture the smaller characters representing the whispers of hatred towards this kind of love; whilst the large bold letters as you shouting it out to all to think about it-that we should not care of what how people think as it is their choice. I love the message that you create, you seem to take things into your own hands when writing. It is amazing how you don't fall under the predictable ideas that many write about or the predictable format many use. When you say Open your eyes it is like you are screaming out to the world to open up to other things, that not everything is what they want.
The finish of this is also extremely powerful. It is like you have walked up to those who don't except others' ideas of how they want to live there life and looked strait into their eyes as you flick out those words towards them. You want the world to listen but no one does, you are trapped in society's cage of expectations and the only way to brake free is to shout out loud for all to hear your thoughts.
An amazing, overpowering piece. I love reading your works like this!
Well, that's all from me,
Godly
Well, I could say the same about your review! Thank you so much! Thank you for reviewing two of my works and writing such kind and amazing stuff--I could thank you for an eternity
Happy writing!!
No promblem mate ^-^ It's been a pleasure
And for me too
jk i get it, i like it thank u
ok cool but what about a guy and a girl kissing
Hey there!
Saw this and couldn't resist leaving a comment.
For one, the idea of this is completely lost on me. What exactly is the point of this? Yes, I know that you are trying to show that it is completely normal for people of the same gender to be in a relationship, but where does it show that? Where does it show that it's normal? All it says is that they are kissing, and to embrace it. I don't honestly see the point in this, whatsoever.
~Cricket
It's a statement to get in the resder's face, not to explain why it is normal. I do see why you could make that comment though.
no thanks, I don't like public displays of affection, regardless of who is doing it
That's understandable, but I think you may be missing the point of the piece.
or maybe the point of the piece has missed me!
I just imagine an sharpened pencil chasing you around for some reason
Hi.
While I agree wholeheartedly with the message of your poem, I'm worried your argument isn't convincing enough. You haven't shown why people should embrace it. If you had something in it about two guys buying a house and living happily ever after, I think that would be more poignant because it shows that actively homophobic people are denying them the right to the fairytale ending they were brought up with from children's stories.
Also, you could maybe broaden the spectrum. If you really want help understand all the different variants of sexual orientation and gender identity, talk to Arkhaion. But you could start off with a boy and girl kissing, to show it's all the same. Or you could have lots of different orientations listed and then heterosexual popped in there to show that being heterosexual and being homosexual are exactly the same thing, except with a few biological differences.
Those were my two main notes.
Well done
Thank you so much for the review! I did actually think about including heterosexual PDA as well, but then I decided the point was for people to embrace homosexuality, not heterosexuality, as that is not really an issue. I also like your suggestions to extend on why we should embrace homosexuality, but I also want the point to be that it shouldn't be a thing one has to explain. It's, as you stated, simply a difference in biology, so why should people have to be explained in vivid detail why they should embrace it? Who goes around explaining why one must embrace heterosexuality?
You're right, it shouldn't have to be explained. But as the world is just now, it does. And it's not about having a problem with heterosexuality; it's about showing that homosexuality is equal to it.
Love the message! Well done.
Thank you so, so much!
Oh my gosh. I love this.
This isn't really a story, but the idea of it is overpowering. Different homosexuality is something that needs to be embraced. People are made fun of is they are LBGT. It's horrible, but this speaks out to a lot of people. You are amazing and this is true in many ways. Great job! Don't give up and always write, 1morestupidlovesong!
-CaptainSaltWater
Thank you so much! This review really means a lot to me. A LOT.
Thanks again!
Hi
So, I'm not exactly sure what to say here except....you got your point made! Great job doing this. I know this will raise awareness for people to be more accepting.
I really like how easily said this is yet how hard to understand it will be to some!
Great job making your point!
Keep writing!!,
~Tiff
Thank you! And thanks for posting 3 times...?
Probably a glitch.
Thank you again!
Yes. A glitch
Happens to the best of us
Hi
So, I'm not exactly sure what to say here except....you got your point made! Great job doing this. I know this will raise awareness for people to be more accepting.
I really like how easily said this is yet how hard to understand it will be to some!
Great job making your point!
Keep writing!!,
~Tiff
Hi
So, I'm not exactly sure what to say here except....you got your point made! Great job doing this. I know this will raise awareness for people to be more accepting.
I really like how easily said this is yet how hard to understand it will be to some!
Great job making your point!
Keep writing!!,
~Tiff