Somebody that I used to know - Gotye.
Now and then I think of when we were together. I'd be lying if I said you weren't the air that I breathed for a period. Its all gone now, though. The taste you left in my mouth was once a sweet, dreamy taste that lingered when I spoke of you. And now ? I cringe. I don't know why. It may be how we ended. That colossal catastrophe, ending us in what most would call a blood bath. Sure, I loved you. We hardly knew each other; You were the first person I've ever felt for. Which is hard to admit. No one wants to say that they know they are incapable of loving, or being loved. The pressure was on you, and you decided you didn't need to take it in stride. Didn't need to pace yourself. Perhaps you should've.
You didn't have to cut me off. My life line, my bloodline. We were an imperfect harmony of perfect things. Things to come, things to stay the same. The regular; the norm. Abnormally put together, mix-matched and separated by the rollercoaster of life. Finding beauty in the little things; Telling ourselves the big things didn't seem so big. Now we're nothing. You've taken it to a whole new level of regret; You regret ever having me. Knowing me. Cherishing, me. Beauty. I once thought your name simply described the word, and not the other way around.
Thinking of all the times you screwed me over. I know it wasn't me, but you make me think it may have been. Without reason, without notice, you ran away. Was I too much ? Did I hurt you in some way, shape, or form that I am unclear of ? Love; Its a curse, not a blessing. When one knows how to wield it, though, it can be used for the good of humanity. We never knew how to play that card. It sat in our decks, hid up our sleeves. Perhaps that is what turned us sour, m'dear. Our lack of "loving", The affection was always there, but the thought may have dispersed as time went on.
Now you're just somebody that I used to know.
To; A Girl I Once Knew.
Hey there, Kookies!
I'm not sure this is a song. I'm wondering if you had meant poetry? I'm sorry if I misinterpreted, but I'm going to review this as a piece of written work rather than a song as that is all I have to go off of.
This was very deep, I must say. The message certainly was clear, and the personality of the speaker is by far impressive. I could get not only who they were but also the story behind the situation. It's rather intense, but it's well done.
I don't know what the bold lines are for? I suppose for emphasis, but are they necessary? They seem to just highlight the thesis statement, if you will, for the paragraph it's in. The formatting could probably be played with so it wasn't just a block of writing. It feels a lot more like poetry, and I know poetry gives you a lot more freedom in how you place your words. Food for thought!
I do love how you tied the beginning and end. The statements are parallel, and the body of the piece explains exactly what is meant by them.
I think I struggled most with the second paragraph. I lost interest and had to re-read it, but I'm not sure how it's relevant to the rest of the piece. I do like the bloodline and harmony metaphors used, but a lot of it is just unnecessary explanations, I think. The beauty bit is also lovely, so perhaps use this to build on why this person was the speaker's lifeline rather than just exclamations of sad and woe.
The last paragraph was pretty cool, especially with the explanation of love. I feel that could be its own piece, though. It goes into so much depth and lovely description about it that it seems out of place. And yet at the same time, I like it, too. It's a great explanation for the voice to use. ...I guess I'd just keep it. But I do absolutely love what you did with that.
Anyhow, sorry for my babble! When it comes to poetry-like pieces, I kind of jabber about my thoughts until I confuse the entire world. But well done!
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
Wow! I love this poem since it feels like a letter, yet isn't quite one, and is simple, beautiful poetry.
Keep it up! Love it, by the way!