word count: 773
~x~
Following Liv's suggestion, Temp and I slipped out through the front door. Theo was still wandering through the yard with a distant expression on his face. His eyes were mostly on the forest that lay beyond the stone wall surrounding the house, but they occasionally flickered down to his phone.
When I got closer, I finally saw what he was looking at.
It was his lockscreen. On it was a picture of him and Rose, and the two of them looked so happy together. It made my stomach churn in what had to be disgust. Disgust at their relationship, disgust at their happiness, disgust at everything about who Theo was to her and who Rose was to me.
I didn't know what she was to me anymore. An ex-best friend, certainly. But when I stared at his lockscreen, I realized that things couldn't ever be that simple. It felt strange to know that the smiling photo of Rose on his phone's lockscreen was the last time I'd ever see Rose. If I wanted to count the last time we saw each other in person, it would be sitting on the bus the day before. None of this felt real when I thought about South Haven, so I did my best not to let my mind return there.
I looked away and ignored how Temp's gaze lingered on the phone screen, too.
“Liv says her wife was the last chosen one,” I said.
Theo looked over at me, startled.
I looked off into the woods.
“Her wife was supposed to be looking for this place's missing god. I said I'd find him to finish what she started.” I kicked a pebble with the very tip of my shoe, watching it hit the stacked stones just a foot away. “Temp and I are going to head to the capitol together.”
Theo turned off his phone and put it in his pocket.
“I see,” he said.
He was studying me now. I wondered if his power was somehow being able to look into my soul; I had the strangest feeling that he could see right through me. I glanced back in the direction of the house. If I squinted, I could make out Liv filling a pack with miscellaneous supplies. “You...You can come. If you want.”
“Are you sure?”
I faltered.
Keeping my gaze on the window, I said, “I am. I might be the chosen one, but you ended up here, too. This Rew god must have had some reason for bringing the two of us together. And while I don't think we have to follow what he says just because he's a god...”
I glanced back at him and muttered something under my breath.
Theo furrowed his brow. “What did you say? I couldn't hear that last part.”
I sighed.
“...I think it makes sense for us to stick together,” I admitted, cheeks bright red as I stared down at the ground. I tried to play it off with a shrug, but I knew the shrug was accomplishing absolutely nothing. “We already died and fell into an ominous set of ruins together. We have to have something that's keeping the two of us from dying. I don't want to break our weird lucky streak.”
Theo made a noise.
I hesitantly looked up at him.
He was covering his mouth and looking away. There was almost a look of shame to his face when he realized he had been caught. It took me a moment to figure out what exactly he had been caught doing: he had been laughing.
“I'm sorry,” he apologized. “It's just that I don't think we're as lucky as you think we are.”
I crossed my arms. “What do you mean?”
“You said something's been stopping us from dying,” he pointed out, “but we're already dead.”
I blinked.
I stared.
And then, despite myself, I relented with a, “Good one.”
Now I was the one doing the studying, trying to figure out just how to get back at him for that very much fair dig. It needed to be good. Something with the potential for repeat references. Looking him over—and thinking of what I knew of Theodore Mendel, heir to a vast corporate fortune—I figured out exactly how to win this unofficial challenge.
“Teddy,” I finished, giving him a smirk. Theo stuttered out a noise of protest, but I was already speed-walking back towards the house with Temp close behind. I had gotten the last word in the conversation.
Closing the door behind Temp, I couldn't help but lean up against the door and smile.
That had been kind of...nice.
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138,198 Literary Works • 672,081 Reviews
Hello hello hello I'm back for more
This is such an interesting thing to explore because up until now Van hasn't really dealt with the fact that he's dead. He's been so fixated on Temp and Liv and whatever craziness is going on around him that he hasn't really had time to stop and think. I hope this is explored further later on as it's going to be such a defining thing that happened to him and Theo... especially seeing as it looks like they're handling things completely differently!
Also, how exactly did Theo get his phone working again?
I'm not sure you need this to be in a paragraph on its own.
And to find out what happened to her.
Hi, Van? You're already dead pal.
This is excellent. I love that we're discovering that Theo has an actual sense of humour and it's slightly,,,morbid xD
This sentence seemed a bit off, perhaps the referring to it as studying?
I'm glad we're getting to see a little bit of bonding here, it makes me like Theo as a character much more. It kind of feels like we're in a limbo at the moment (which is funny, because I guess that's almost exactly where they are) whilst we wait for them to prepare to head off on their quest!
Hope this was helpful and can't wait for chapter 6 <3
Icy
Hi Magebird,
Mailice back with another review!
Since I think most of what I wrote in the last review for the fifth chapter is the same for this short part, and I don't want to repeat myself, I'll focus a bit here on what I noticed while reading:
I like this and the next section very much. I already had the impression that Van has some feelings for Rose and is envious of Theo, even if he doesn't show himself like that most of the time. But from this I also read a certain revulsion. This has manifested itself and is growing in Van. That's a side I like in a way, because it's an expression of his negative feelings. I hope it doesn't blind him too much, this nasty envy.
Last time I looked for Washington D.C. on the map, it wasn't in Arium.
I think it's great that Van says it in such a tone. I just like the way he rebels against a god.
I like the chapter. I also like that you posted this part separately because I notice that the focus here is more on Van and Theo. I take back what I wrote in the last review about Theo being a bit shortchanged.
I think it's very interesting what you're setting up here. At first I thought the two of them were in some sort of argument that was building up to conflict, and only afterwards did I realise it was more of a gimmick where it was just to show who wears the trousers.
You proved here to bring the dialogue to life with the brief comments and hints from Van and Theo. It didn't feel static, but open, uninhibited and like something out of a series.
The chapter felt different from the previous ones. Away from the short length, I felt a certain impatience and anticipation mixed with the hope that Van wouldn't have to travel to the capital alone (Temp aside.) It was like gathering provisions before the big departure. It's like the calm before the storm.
Enjoy the writing!
Mailice.
Thank you so much for your review!
Thanks! You'll have to see how it affects Van later on~ I will say he has a tendency to push feelings that involve other people down whenever he can, but I won't say anything else.
I definitely don't mind comments like that! Humor makes reviewing/reading reviews fun. I'll have to have Theo comment on how he doesn't know about the capitol in the next draft.
Thanks! Van rebelling against authority figures is such a crucial part of his personality and character, so I'm really glad it came across there.
I thought you might!
Thank you so much! I'm hoping that this book will someday become the first of a trilogy, so I'm happy that it already has that feeling to it.
And there may or may not be an argument in their future, but I thought it would be fun to have them tease each other a bit and relax before we get into the actual conflicts of the story~
Thank you again for your review! It was really helpful. c: