Hi mel,
It's been a little bit since I last reviewed poetry, so I apologize in advance if this review is a little rough. But this poem really resonated with me, so I wanted to try my hand at reviewing.
The first thing that stuck out at me was how there was almost a rhyming scheme to the very first stanza. They're not true rhymes, but they added momentum to your poem. It was part of what kept me reading it. I also love how you tied together the images of the flowers and the moon on the side of the poem with its actual contents; the imagery of only having thorns left really stands out.
Another piece of imagery that I really love is this part:
i don't want to contract the rot that the tree who grew you passed on
You took a common idiom (the apple doesn't fall from the tree) and used it in a way that was both familiar and new. Plus, the idea of rot suggests that cruelty is more nurture than nature--it's not something inherent. The contradiction of that line with the title implying that nature is actually responsible makes your poem especially memorable.
It's hard to come up with possible ways you could improve this piece, but it might be cool to carry on that almost-rhyme scheme through the poem. Another way you might be able to explore the theme is by listing specific instances of kindness vs. cruelty instead of this part:
i want to be soft and i want to not be so cruel
But that part also gives the speaker conviction, so it's really up to you if you want to keep it in or expand on it more!
I hope my review is helpful! Let me know if there's anything I need to clarify in it. But, overall, I really enjoyed reading your poetry! I hope I can read more of your poems in the future.
Points: 1234
Reviews: 590
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