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Young Writers Society



Soul Cutters Chapter 15

by Gnomish


I opened my eyes and thought that there must be something wrong with the Cartrain. I wasn’t moving. Then I realized that I was lying on a real bed, not a crate and a blanket on the floor. Slowly the events of the previous night came flooding back. The file! Last night I had been too tired to finish reading it and had gone straight to bed after dinner.

I could see the sun’s first rays shining through the window. It was early morning, and I had an entire day to figure out the solution to my problem!

I jumped out of bed eagerly, and quickly stripped off my nightgown, replacing it with a soft and well-worn blue cotton dress that hit right at my knees. I brushed out my hair and secured it with a matching ribbon, a gift from Darren.

The thought of my brother dampened my mood and I sighed heavily as I made the bed. I couldn’t stand the thought of forgetting him. I realized that having to be the one to cut him was more of a blessing than a curse. If someone else was assigned to him than I wouldn’t remember anything about this ribbon, if I remembered that I had a brother at all.

I exited the room, into the kitchen, where Mel was already awake and lighting the lanterns.

“How was your sleep?” She asked as she handed me a piece of bread covered with butter.

“Excellent!” I said. “Thank you so much for doing this. I think I forgot to say that yesterday.”

She laughed. “It’s no trouble to me. With father being gone so often I need a little company!”

I seated myself at the table and opened the file, which I had left there the previous night.

“Find anything interesting?” Mel asked as she seated herself across from me.

“Well, Mr. Ledwell thought that the trick would be to only sever one string, the soul-string and the memory-line could be cut separately, therefore retaining our memories of the deceased. He goes on to write that it would be impossible to just cut one, because they’re so tightly intertwined.” I stopped reading aloud and we both leaned over the pages.

He had a little arrow from the last sentence pointing to a section where he discussed the logistics of untangling the soul-string. He then directed that section to one about untangling from the top (crossed out because it would take to long and there would be too many souls to untangle), and untangling from the bottom.

The rest of the page was dedicated to the latter.

If a cutter could successfully untangle the soul-string from the Otherworld, then the memory-line would still be intact, and the possibility of soul-drag would be gone. The problem was, no living soul had ever come back from the Otherworld, and according to the Princess no sane Cutter would try.

I read on, making connections in my head as I did. I had just begun reading the last page when something clicked.

“Of course!”

“What?” Mel asked, closing the file gently.

“I realized how to cut someone without forgetting.”

Mel grinned. “That’s awesome!”

“But I need someone’s help.” I continued dolefully. “A cutter. A powerful one.” I stood up and began to pace the small kitchen, my heart racing. “Mr. Sallon would be best, of course, but he wouldn’t agree to it.” I continued pacing, talking half to myself. “Mr. Ledwell wouldn’t be strong enough I don’t think. He’s a powerful cutter but he isn’t that experienced.”

“I think I can help.” Mel interrupted. I looked over at her surprised. Her mouth was set in a hard line and she had a determined expression on her face. “It’s time you learn who my father was.”

A few hours later we were loaded in a cart being driven by Jonathon Ledwell on the Traveler’s Road back to the city.

“You didn’t have to come with me you know.” I said for the hundredth time. I still felt bad that Mel had just gotten home and here we were on a two day trip right back to the city.

“It’s fine.” She replied. “Like I said, I can help.”

I sat in silence, listening to the sound of the horse’s hooves hitting the road and the wheels turning beneath us. I didn’t know what I would do without Mel, or Mr. Ledwell. When we had returned to Ledwell’s house to drop of the file, I had explained, with the help of Mel, our situation. We needed to get back to the city as fast as we could, and he was headed back anyways. His horse wasn’t to happy about having to pull a cart as well as two extra bodies, but Ledwell was as excited as I was about this possible new way of cutting. It had taken us a while to get packed up and hit the road, but we were finally on our way.

“We’ll be arriving at Stoneford shortly!” Ledwell called from the front. “We’ll be spending the night there!”

“Okay!” I called back. I turned grinning, to Mel. “One day down, one and a half to go!”

“Yay.” She said unenthusiastically. “Can’t wait.”

I felt a twinge of sympathy. Despite her insistence to help me, she couldn’t have been happy leaving her home again. I pushed aside the heavy canvas sheet that was draped over our heads and leaned out the side of the cart. The landscape was beautiful, soaring forests and grassy hills covered with flowers like beads on dress.

“So who is your father?” I asked, turning back to Mel.

She smiled. “John Teller.” She replied.

“Mr. Teller!” I gasped. I thought back to our first conversation with Mr. Ledwell. Had I said anything bad about Mr. Teller? I didn’t think so. “And you think he will help us?” I asked.

She nodded confidently. “Definitely. We can go there as soon as we get to the city.”

“Actually,” I said as the cart slowed to a stop. “There’s somewhere I need to go first.”

Once Ledwell had arranged for the horse and cart to be taken care of in the inn’s stables, he led us into the common room. I took a step in, and cringed back. The room was busy and loud, and I started to panic. I still wasn’t used to crowds, and there was nowhere to go for peace and quiet. From the look on his face, Ledwell didn’t like it much either.

“I’m sorry ladies,” he said. “This is the only inn with vacancy.”

“This is vacant?” I said loudly, trying to be heard over the noise.

Ledwell was saved from answering by the arrival of the innkeeper, a haggard looking woman carrying a tray of drinks.

“Can I help you three?” She asked, struggling to balance the tray on her hip while wiping the nearest table with her other hand.

While Ledwell dealt with the innkeeper, Mel and I made our way around the room, looking for a relatively quiet table. We finally found one in the back corner of the room, and I cringed at the smell and noise as I cut through the center. The nearest table hosted three men, built like farmers with solid figures.

“Did you hear the news?” One asked, downing a glass of ale. “Word is Barry Dunhill is back in the city!”

Mel and I glanced at each other, wide eyed. My pulse quickened and I leaned a bit closer to the table to hear well.

“Hah!” The second man cried. “That’s just a rumors. He’d be an idiot to come back here,” He dropped his glass back on the table. “Now that his accomplice is locked up he’d be caught like a fish in a net.”

“Unless Dan Parson wasn’t actually his accomplice.” The third man said.

Mel elbowed me. “Looks like you aren’t the only one who thinks that!”

“Well, I’m just saying,” The first man spoke again. “I’ll be locking the farm up a little tighter tonight.” The men stood and began making their way back to the door.

Mel leaned back in her chair. “Do you think it’s true?” She asked.

“About Dan Parson not being guilty?”

“No, whether Dunhill’s back!”

I sighed. “I don’t know. The guy’s got a point. If I were him I would stay away.”

“And go where?” Mel asked. “The desert?”

“I got us a couple of rooms.” Ledwell said, coming up behind me.



“Great.” Mel said. “Any food?”

He nodded. “It’s coming.”

“Excellent!” I said, my stomach rumbling in agreement. The day had been long, and Mel and I had eaten up all the snacks we brought for the road already.

After a quick dinner of hot chicken soup, we retired to our rooms. Ledwell’s room was right next to mine and Mel’s, and I could hear him banging around through the thin walls.

Mel fell asleep quickly, but I lay awake, my head full of possibilities. I felt like my veins had been injected with caffeine. Could I really cut Darren without forgetting him?


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386 Reviews


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Sat Mar 07, 2020 11:32 am
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi @Gnomish I am here to do another review for you on this chapter, now my apologies for not doing this sooner, I am still reading and I will keep on reviewing it. Just tell my if my advise is not helping you.

I opened my eyes and thought that there must be something wrong with the Cartrain. I wasn’t moving. Then I realized that I was lying on a real bed, not a crate and a blanket on the floor. Slowly the events of the previous night came flooding back. The file! Last night I had been too tired to finish reading it and had gone straight to bed after dinner.
okay so first of I really would like to say that this out of all of your chapters starts was the best start, the description has gotten a bit better to, and the characters or not talking as much as they were. I can really see that your put a lot of effort into this chapter.
Now I would now like to say that I don't no what you were trying to say with the word that is in bold. But I'm going to try and help you spell that correctly anyways.

your spelt it. Cartrain
I am going to spell it, Car train
now I think you just missed the space there so that is a simple thing other wise I'm not quit sure. Now lets move on shell we.

I could see the sun’s first rays shining through the window. It was early morning, and I had an entire day to figure out the solution to my problem!


Okay I am going to try to say this very nicely okay and don't take me the wrong way. I find this problem with a lot of books not just your one, now this is the problem. I lot of books that are in first person like this are really hard to write, and they don't turn out as well as with third person. I have tried writing first and third person books, and i have read a lot of both kinds to. But the third person books are just so much easier so write, so maybe third person would be better for you. I'm just saying what I think you don't have to do it.

I sat in silence, listening to the sound of the horse’s hooves hitting the road and the wheels turning beneath us. I didn’t know what I would do without Mel, or Mr. Ledwell.
I'm starting to get to no a lot of the characters now. Another little thing about third person, you can hook people to a lot of characters easier then with first person. But your story is good and I can really see your improvement in this chapter, I can see that your are really trying, and that is always a good thing to do.

Now this is all that I can really say about this chapter, if I was being to harsh then I'm really sorry about it I did not mean to. I no that this takes up a lot of your time when you read it. So I hope that it will help you in the future. Thanks for reading the review. :D

I hope you have a great Day/Night

@Dossereana Out In The Sky Of Reviews




Gnomish says...


Thanks for the review! The word Cartrain is actually spelt like that, I think it's mentioned more earlier on.



Dossereana says...


Oh okay never mind that then.



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Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:04 pm
Necromancer14 wrote a review...



Well, I was quite surprised when I read this chapter, considering that I haven't read any of the ones before this. It was quite intriguing.

Here's my review:

"I read on, making connections in my head as I did. I had just begun reading the last page when something clicked."

I like "something clicked". It's actually a very good visual. (If you can say a thought is a "visual".) However, I feel like this happened too fast. It's like, "hmm, lets figure out this problem... Oh! I got it!" It's just a bit too quick.

"“Mr. Teller!” I gasped. I thought back to our first conversation with Mr. Ledwell. Had I said anything bad about Mr. Teller? I didn’t think so. “And you think he will help us?” I asked."

I don't know anything about Mr. Teller, but this definitely sparked my interest about him.

This was definitely well written, and the dialogue was great. It was also very descriptive, and I liked it. Your only thing is that it's a bit too fast paced at parts, and you just jump to the next scene a bit too fast.

In any case, this was a great chapter, and that's my review. I hope it was at least a little bit helpful.

:)




Gnomish says...


Thanks for the review, I'll try slowing it down!



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Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:36 pm
LadyMysterio wrote a review...



Hey, it's Lady Mysterio again.
It's weird that this hasn't gotten any reviews yet?
I"ll try and make this one, so you've got at least one.
The story seems pretty good, I don't think it really needs anything.
I like how you described the crowded inn.
I felt as though I was there, I am about as much of a crowd person as Ledwell, so I was hoping they'd get out of that crowd soon.
Now I am also hungry from reading about her hungry stomach, although I usually just get hungry when reading.

-Lady Mysterio.




Gnomish says...


Thanks for the review!




I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.
— Flannery O'Connor