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Like A Rose

by Vulcanite


You’re looking up,

And you’re feeling down,

But you can’t give up,

Even when

Life is getting you down

Even when

Life feels like fire,

When getting burned by the flames,

You feel like ash and smoke,

And you,

feel like you have nothing left,

in you,

But you never give up,

You keep on fighting,

For freedom in this world,

And you will bloom like a rose,

On a bosh,

And Life will feel better,

When you try,

You don’t give up,

And your still feeling hop full,

And worthy to try,

Life will be like a breeze

For you,

And you will then see,

That

Life is like a fire burning when you start out,

But then

Life can be like a blooming rose,

And better yet you’ll see,

Don’t fade yet,

Don’t brake down,

Live and survive,

for

Life can be like a blooming rose.

Yeah you’ll see now,

It will be better.

When you just,

Open up,

To the skies,

A flower will form,

And it will bloom.

Like a blooming rose,

That never goes,

It only gets better and brighter,

When you just try,

Don’t give up now,

Your on your way,

To being,

Like a blooming rose,

That won’t burn out,

To ash and smoke,

It will be,

You,

For a blooming rose.


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118 Reviews


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Mon Apr 08, 2019 12:47 am
FabihaNeera wrote a review...



Hey EagleFly,
This is a beautifully written poem! I didn't expect it to be so long, but I think you really kept me hooked on throughout the entire thing. I like all of the imagery, poetic devices, and deeper meaning behind it.

I can only see a few spelling errors that I'm sure a lot of people pointed out already... so I will just keep telling you how much this poem captured my eye!

You are an amazing writer!




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Sat Apr 06, 2019 8:49 pm
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Butterfly7 says...



I really like it. It's nice. This'd be a good poem for the Summer time! There were a few spelling mistakes that I'd like you to watch out for, so yeah. I enjoyed reading this. You have a real talent for poems, Eagle! :elephant:




Vulcanite says...


Aww thanks so much. :D



Butterfly7 says...


Anytime. :)



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Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:58 am
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Dossereana2 wrote a review...



Hi @EagleFly, I am here to say, that this poem was really nice to read, grate depth, to it, also I was not shore if this was a song, if it is you mite want to say it is a song, coes that would explain why you repeat lines a lot, I really like this poem for I really like flowers as you no, I feel like this is speaking a lot of troth, and yeah this really did cach my eye a lot, I am noticing that for how long it is, I was guessing that, it was a song, or something, you must have worked really hard on it, its a grate poem I love all the description and detail, I like read this over and over again, I see nothing wrong with this sweat and lovely peas, the only thing is the reapt of some lines.

That's all I can really say about this pace, so I hope you like the review, also I hop you have a nice day.

@WildBloomer out to pas the love of the flowers




Vulcanite says...


I do like the review thanks, also yeah, I did do this as a song, thanks for the pointing that out, I should change it, all in all I think this was a really help full review thanks again. :D <3



Dossereana2 says...


No problem I would love to here more of your works.



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Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:32 am
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EdelDove wrote a review...



Hey EagleFly,
What a lovely poem, I like that you choose this tone and approach. In a world full of hardship it's refreshing to run across this uplifting piece.
I agree with erillea on some of the points she/he made. It just needs a bit of sprucing up nothing major and afterwards I'd say your poem will be perfect!
I love how you picked the analogy of a rose maybe it's because I'm so partial to roses but nonetheless I still really, really like this poem.
I hope to read more from you soon, love ya work!

~EdelDove




Vulcanite says...


Aww thanks, I am so happy to here that you like it.:D



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Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:46 am
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Swetachowdhury0 wrote a review...



Hey @eaglefly.. This is beautiful... It is simple and well written. And it's like that motivation poem we all need in our life when we are about to give up. There are three words you should correct first "hope with hop" and "break with brake" and "bush with both".i don't find any other errors. Keep writing and stay bless




Vulcanite says...


Thanks for the really kind words. :D



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Wed Apr 03, 2019 2:58 am
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Honora wrote a review...



Hey EagleFly! :)
I don't read poetry often but this one caught my eyes and I really liked it. That's saying something because usually I don't even like poetry. Not sure if that is the right thing to say for a person that writes poetry...whatever :D
Anyway, the point is that I really liked this one. The message you're getting across is helpful for everyone. This is something that should be told to everyone because no matter how old or young we are, there are always tough times to get through. This poem is uplifting in a sad kind of way. It was really well done! My personal favorite part is the last nine lines. Those are the ones that really popped out at me. :)
Your friend,
Honora




Vulcanite says...


Aww thank you, I am so happy that you liked it. :D



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Wed Apr 03, 2019 2:54 am
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erilea wrote a review...



Hi, EagleFly! I decided to crawl out of my hole to write a review. :D

One of the first things I noticed is the line breaks within this poem. A lot of them make some of the lines seem a little bit choppy or unnecessarily short, and I found myself pausing a lot when I tried reading the poem aloud. I would recommend trying to combine some of the lines and removing the commas at the ends of them.

Another point seems to be spelling. Words like "brake" should be "break" and "bosh" should be "bush". If you ran this poem through, say, a program like Grammarly, it would probably catch those errors for you.

I also think that a lot of this poem seems to be repeated or just reiterated in a different choice of words. Especially since this poem is pretty long as of now, I think that you could look back over it and see what's absolutely necessary.

With that being said, the message, tone, and emotion in this one are really inspirational, and I love the comparison of a person to a blooming rose (which I incidentally used myself in one of my earliest poems on this site). Since nature is a huge part of hope and a love for a lot of people worldwide, it was a good idea on your part to link this poem to it. Good work on this piece and keep writing!

XOX,
erilea




Vulcanite says...


Thanks for the lovely and kind words it helps me a lot. :D also yes I do understand about all the repeating on lines and commas and things I will try to ficks that up soon, again thanks for the review. :D



erilea says...


No problem! :D



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Wed Apr 03, 2019 12:52 am
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Dusk666 says...



This is really good...
If i were being truthful i don't read poems often..... And i have no idea how to write them....
But this ones good. The words really got me into it. It was a good read... So ya I'll leave it at that...
You did great!
Keep up the good work!!




Vulcanite says...


Thanks for the really kind words. :D I am so happy to here that you liked it.



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Tue Apr 02, 2019 11:18 pm
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Anma wrote a review...



This is really good eaglefly!

I really love the message you were getting across as well. This is really lovely, but sad, but really good. I can feel the emotion put in this as well, and the similes are really great.

I do have some suggestions for you though. Even know it's a poem I feel you refuse the same words to much. Like I have said before if you need to just look up synonyms for the words.
Also I'm not sure if there is a rhyming, if there is try to keep it constant, okay?

Either than that, its really good. I'm guessing you wrote this for a reason?
I hope your doing okay, if you need anything just ask.

Keep up the great work!! I'd love if you notify me more when you have works out!

Sincerely Anma




Vulcanite says...


Thanks Anma, and yes things are getting a bit sad I am not shore what to do with myself any more. :) Thanks for the consern



Anma says...


Awwwww, i feel bad now!! Virtual "hug" its okay, don't be sad.



Vulcanite says...


Oh don't feel bad, I don't like it when I make other people feel bad. :(



Anma says...


You don't! You actually make me really happy!



Anma says...


:)



Vulcanite says...


Oh okay, I was worried for a little wile, Lol never mind.




Only the suppressed word is dangerous.
— Ludwig Borne