z

Young Writers Society



Worlds Collide (Part 4)

by Mea


Hermione turned around and gasped.

A large circular room curved away in front of her, much larger than the small box would allow. It was beautiful, in a dusty, organic sort of way. She would have said steampunk, but it looked too worn and practical. Coral beams branched upward to support a domed ceiling with a quiet dignity. Cables hung from the ceiling, converging on the center. The floor was a metal grate through which she could see hints of complex machinery and a staircase leading down to lower levels.

But the center was what fascinated her. It was a curved, six-sided control panel, with a column in the center that stretched upwards to the ceiling. The controls looked complex, with all sorts of buttons and levers that had no clear meaning. A monitor sat on one side, adorned with sticky notes that had odd, circular symbols.

She moved into the center of the room, peering at the controls. The console was backlit with a soft green light, illuminating more of the symbols etched into the glass. They were like nothing she had ever seen before. The whole console looked like it had been thrown together from old spare parts, but somehow it all fit smoothly together.

Hermione turned around to see the Doctor leaning against one of the coral beams, beaming at Hermione’s delight. He was clearly proud of this place, whatever it was. Rose stood next to him, grinning almost as widely as he was.

“It’s the TARDIS” he said. “Stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space.”

“What does all this stuff do?" Hermione asked eagerly. "Why disguise it as a police box, of all things? And how did you get it?”

The Doctor looked disappointed. “Aren’t you going to say it’s bigger on the inside?”

“Well, isn’t it just an Undetectable Extension Charm?” Hermione asked. But the more she thought about it, the more that didn’t make sense. If the Doctor and Rose were wizards, why hadn’t they used magic before? The gadget the Doctor had used to disable the fire alarm sure didn’t look like a wand. Why use that instead?

“No,” the Doctor said. “It’s trans-dimensional engineering. This is my ship. She can travel anywhere in space and time. The police box is because of the chameleon circuit. It changes shape to blend in.”

"A police box doesn't exactly blend in," Hermione told him.

"Yeah, well, it's been stuck like this for a while now. I've grown fond of it." the Doctor said, patting the railing.

"But this is incredible!" Hermione said "How does it work?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“I bet I could,” she pressed. “I’m quite well-read in theoretical magic.”

“It’s not magic,” said the Doctor, “It’s my spaceship.”

“So you’re not a wizard?” Hermione said, confused.

Comprehension dawned on the Doctor’s face. “No, not like you’re talking about.”

“All right,” Hermione said, sitting down on one of the chairs by the console and taking a deep breath. “Okay. Do you happen to know any wizards?”

“Nope,” the Doctor said. “There aren’t any. Not here.”

“Sure there are,” Hermione said, starting to feel frustrated.

“No, there aren’t. This universe doesn’t have magic. Not your sort, anyway.”

“But then how can I do magic?” Hermione challenged.

“Try a spell,” the Doctor urged, taking out his odd device.

Hermione folded her arms. “And what are you going to do with that?”

“It’s just his sonic screwdriver,” said Rose. “I’m pretty sure it does everything. Open doors, hack computers, scan things. Except wood, for some reason it doesn’t work on that.”

“Now go on, show us something,” the Doctor urged. “I’m just going to scan you with it, figure out what’s going on.”

“Fine,” Hermione said. She glanced around for something to use, not wanting to break anything, but the room was rather bare. She noticed Rose was wearing a bracelet. That would do.

Accio Bracelet,” she said. It zoomed into her open hand.

Rose looked amazed. “Now that’s something I never thought I’d see,” she muttered.

Hermione returned the bracelet to Rose along with a quick apology. The Doctor finished scanning Hermione and stowed the sonic screwdriver back in his coat pocket.

“Well, it's a bit hard to tell because your wand’s made of wood,” he said, “but it looks like it brings energy from your universe through the crack to make the spell happen in this universe.”

“That does make sense,” Hermione said. But she still didn’t trust them. “How do I know you’re not lying to me? Amel and Garen said they wanted to help, and I ended up with a gun to my back.”

“Look,” Rose said, stepping forward. “We really are just travelers – or at least the Doctor is. I’m just a shop girl from London. He saved my life when we first met. Now he’s taking me around the universe, showing me the sights.”

“But then why would you bother investigating random ‘disturbances?’” Hermione said, unconvinced.

“I’m curious,” the Doctor said. “Always have been. Got me in a fair bit of trouble over the years too.”

“Finding trouble is pretty much his MO,” Rose agreed.

“We’re not armed,” the Doctor continued. “If we do anything you don’t like, you’ve got your wand. Plus, we just saved you from a bunch of security police. Give us a bit of credit.”

Hermione considered him and Rose. The situation wasn’t like with Amel and Garen. Those two had given her exactly what she had wanted, and in return she’d played right into their hands. Rose and this Doctor were different – they didn’t claim to be affiliated with anyone, and she hadn’t seen them contact anybody. Maybe they were just travelers. Her gut said to trust them. She took a deep breath and made the decision.

“All right, I’ll trust you." For now.

The Doctor flashed a grin. “Well, now that we’ve got that sorted, what I want to know is what brought you here. Travel between universes isn’t exactly easy.”

Hermione explained about the crack, how it kept growing, how it had swallowed her colleagues and how she’d volunteered to come here and find them. A question occurred to her.

“So you said you picked up me coming through the crack back in Cardiff, but how did you find me here?”

“Oh, anyone who’s crossed between universes radiates Void stuff – little particles from the Void between universes,” said the Doctor. “Tracking it’s easy. We just landed a little late.”

Hermione then related all that had happened after she came through the crack, up until Garen and Amel’s betrayal.

“And you know the rest,” she said. “But Garen and Amel – they said they had been keeping watch on the crack and no one had come out. They said my people were probably lost in the Void, that the surges pulled them out of my universe but not into this one. Is it true?”

The Doctor frowned. “They might have been lying. I don’t know who they are or why they’re so interested in you. And I don’t like not knowing. Which is why” – he grinned and rushed over to the console – “I think it’s time to pay them a little visit, don’t you?”

He started pressing buttons and flipping switches. “I’m scanning for alien ships in the atmosphere….aha! Locking on, get ready.”

A spark of hope blossomed in Hermione’s chest as the Doctor’s words sank in. Why should she trust anything Garen and Amel had said? Maybe Henry, Liza, and Sylvia were still alive.

Rose laid a hand on Hermione’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. If they’re out there, we’ll find them.”

The Doctor flipped one last switch. A wheezing, groaning sound filled the air. The TARDIS shook, showers of sparks exploding from the console. Hermione and Rose were flung back against the railing. Hermione held on for dear life.

“Is it supposed to be doing that?” she yelled.

The Doctor hands were flying over the controls again. “They’ve got some advanced shielding – if I can just adjust the harmonic resonators…got it.”

The room steadied and a solid thunk announced their arrival.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
346 Reviews


Points: 37216
Reviews: 346

Donate
Wed Dec 30, 2015 2:14 pm
Pretzelstick wrote a review...



Heya Mea. Sorry that I'm always so late in things like this, I just forget but that's ok,at least I'm here now right? Anyways, as I noticed in a comment I can understand that LMS has take over but I truly hope that you can come and revisit this someday.

I really liked how Hermione was still kind of wearily untrusting at the beginning, keeping her guard up which is very understandable since what she's just been through and all of that. But following your gut is a pretty honorable thing to do here, especially since she doesn't know the majesty of the Doctor.

The whole console looked like it had been thrown together from old spare parts, but somehow it all fit smoothly together.


This is my favorite line because I think that it definitively describes the TARDIS in a perfect way. Now that I've got it quoted, I will definitively refer back to it and Telly friends what this really is all about-the ship.

Now let's go on to some things that you can get better at. I know that Carlito mentioned a lot of things already, but I have already read their review and so I hope that I don't repeat anything.

Hermione turned around and gasped.


I do to understand why she had to turn around to see all of the glamour. Now I know that this maybe just a minor thing but a Whoviwn knows that if you step headfirst into the ship you see the whole ship and all right in front of your face. The only way that Hermione would have had to turnaround would be if she were walking into the TARDIS backwards. Which she wouldn't obviously.

Hermione turned around to see the Doctor leaning against one of the coral beams, beaming at Hermione’s delight.

I think that you could definitively make this emotional beat much more stronger, because the first couple paragraphs Hermione is just describing the TARDIS. She doesn't really show any delight in it, because there is no dialogue there to indicate that, no body language like a smilie whatever. I would just go back and fix this part just so that it's more apparent.

Rose looked amazed. “Now that’s something I never thought I’d see,” she muttered.

This seems kind of more forced, the reason being is that you describe Rose as muttering this under her nose. Also, hasn't Rose seem much more amazing things with her adventures withe the Doctor than just this? It seems a little bit strange that she would really take notice of such a small and simple trick.

Hermione held on for dear life.

Very cliche expression, and because it's overused it just felt like there was really no meaning here. When you go back and revise it I would go and change it to something more original.

Omg I loved that cliffhanger, because it really left me wanting to know more, to know what happened. Overall, I love all of the subtle plot twists here and trust issues and I can't wait to find out the solution to this problems. I hope that this review helped improve your already lovely work, and if you have any questions the then you know where to find me.

~P.S.




User avatar
49 Reviews


Points: 2507
Reviews: 49

Donate
Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:35 am
View Likes
DragonWriter22 wrote a review...



Awesome! I've read the other chapters and I must say you're an amazing writer! I'm generally a little wary when reading or trying fanfiction because it's difficult to write someone else's character, but I think you've done an excellent job!

I had a little bit of trouble telling which doctor it was, probably because I didn't catch your reference to him in part 2. At first I though it was Tenth, but after seeing the comments below and checking part 2, I realize it's ninth and that makes much more sense. I thought it was tenth, but he wasn't really acting like tenth, so knowing who he really is clears that up.

One other thing,

"Why disguise it as a police box, of all things?


I don't know if Hermione would question that since in the wizarding world, they use all sorts of weird disguises to keep things from muggles. The visitor's entrance to the ministry is a phone booth! But then phone booths and police boxes are different, so who knows?

Anyway, I love this idea and I can't wait for the next part!




Mea says...


Glad you like it! And I hate to disappoint you, but I was writing this before I started my LMS, and now that I'm doing that I haven't really been working on this as much. I do hope to finish it one day, though.



User avatar
63 Reviews


Points: 5915
Reviews: 63

Donate
Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:40 pm
View Likes
ThePhoenix wrote a review...



HELLO!
I'm bored.
REVIEW TIME!
But lunch first.
NOW REVIEW.

Now let me just say. I was literally SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT when I saw (well, read) the Doctor in this (I have spent countless weeks doing this).

QUESTION NUMBER ONE (it's the only question but anyway)!
What's MO?
:D

Also I always imagine this Doctor as Eleven (he's my favourite) but from the comment below, I'm assuming it's the Ninth.

Also, when the Doctor says

"And I don’t like not knowing."

It's probably just me being annoying but, isn't that what Eleven says? Not Nine? Idk. This just gets to me for some reason.

...
I think that's all I can say without saying something @Carlito hasn't already and I'm already pretty annoying so...
:D
Bye bye.




Mea says...


Thanks for the review! MO is modus operandi, which means like "how x rolls/does things," and apparently I'm the only one who knows what that means, so I'll probably take it out. XD

And I really need to update this.



User avatar
9 Reviews


Points: 443
Reviews: 9

Donate
Fri Jul 24, 2015 10:43 am
jegde1479 says...



I've read all 4 chapters and this is so great! I love both hp and doctor who. ive just got a few questions for the author.
Is hermione married to ron yet?
and which doctor is it ?(ps really hoping its the tenth)


Also i know you might do this later but could you try incorporate more doctor hermione and rose - getting to know each other rather than the 2 baddies.

Other than that great story!! id love to read more.




User avatar
9 Reviews


Points: 443
Reviews: 9

Donate
Fri Jul 24, 2015 10:42 am
jegde1479 wrote a review...



I've read all 4 chapters and this is so great! I love both hp and doctor who. ive just got a few questions for the author.
Is hermione married to ron yet?
and which doctor is it ?(ps really hoping its the tenth)


Also i know you might do this later but could you try incorporate more doctor hermione and rose - getting to know each other rather than the 2 baddies.

Other than that great story!! id love to read more.




willachilles says...


It's the ninth doctor.



Mea says...


I'm glad you like it! And yes, Hermione is married to Ron.



jegde1479 says...


ok cool thanks



User avatar
1162 Reviews


Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162

Donate
Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:56 pm
View Likes
Carlito wrote a review...



Hey! I'm going to keep on reading this even though I don't know anything about Doctor Who because I love me some Hermione and I think you have an interesting plot :)

I still think your chapters keep getting better and better!

She would have said steampunk, but it looked too worn and practical.

LOVED this paragraph and the following two describing the TARDIS. I've seen pictures of it (because the internet obviously loves the Doctor :p), but you painted me a nice picture of what this space.
This sentence I pulled out, I'm not feeling. I think what's throwing me is the "steampunk". Steampunk is a literary genre (modern technology in older times) and using it as an adjective confused me. Also, how would Hermione be familiar with the term?

He was clearly proud of this place, whatever it was.


“What does all this stuff do?" Hermione asked eagerly. "Why disguise it as a police box, of all things? And how did you get it?”

The Doctor looked disappointed. “Aren’t you going to say it’s bigger on the inside?”

I don't understand why the Doctor is disappointed. I thought Hermione asked good, valid questions. Hermione hasn't even thought about the size of the interior versus the outside.
Is this just a way to bring up magic? (Because that's what they talk about next)

“No,” the Doctor said. “It’s trans-dimensional engineering. This is my ship. She can travel anywhere in space and time. The police box is because of the chameleon circuit. It changes shape to blend in.”

"A police box doesn't exactly blend in," Hermione told him.

"Yeah, well, it's been stuck like this for a while now. I've grown fond of it." the Doctor said, patting the railing.

Clever way of concisely describing this. For those familiar with the series, they already know this so you don't want to go too in depth and bore them. For those unfamiliar with the series, it gives us enough to work with so we understand what's going on and where they are.

“So you’re not a wizard?” Hermione said, confused.

Comprehension dawned on the Doctor’s face. “No, not like you’re talking about.”

Why is she confused? I thought she already reasoned that they likely aren't wizards.
And what kind of comprehension? What is he understanding here?

“That does make sense,” Hermione said. But she still didn’t trust them. “How do I know you’re not lying to me? Amel and Garen said they wanted to help, and I ended up with a gun to my back.”

This seems like an odd place to bring up trust. She's been chummy with him up until this point.

“Finding trouble is pretty much his MO,” Rose agreed.

MO?

“All right, I’ll trust you." For now.

She also doesn't have much choice, does she? I mean, she already got in the TARDIS and she's already traveling with them. It's not like she can be like 'meh...I don't think I trust you anymore' and just get off/out. :p

Hermione explained about the crack, how it kept growing, how it had swallowed her colleagues and how she’d volunteered to come here and find them.

Great. Thank you for not re-stating information we already know :)

“I think it’s time to pay them a little visit, don’t you?”

Pay Amel and Garen a visit? Why?

Still super interesting!! I'm a little confused about where they went and who they're looking for. Are they trying to get more information from Amel and Garen, or does the Doctor think he can find the missing ministry people? Other than that and the little things I mentioned, I think this was a pretty solid chapter!

One thing I'm wondering, and it will probably be revealed in later chapters... is I'm starting to grow worried for Hermione and how she's going to get back. This crack obviously isn't good. So let's say she finds the missing ministry people - how will she get back to her side? Has she worked out that piece of magic? Will the Doctor have to help her? Are they going to try to close the crack to stop this universe-crossing business? Will that affect her ability to go back to her side?

Looking forward to more! :)

Let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing!




User avatar
53 Reviews


Points: 553
Reviews: 53

Donate
Sat Jul 11, 2015 2:26 am
View Likes
CuriosityCat says...



Hi, Meandbooks. I'm sorry, I'm going to sound like a total creepy stalker when I say this, which I swear I'm not. But I just wanted to tell you that I read all of the other chapters and I absolutely LOVE this entire story. You are a genius! I'm just going to keep reading as long as you keep writing. Just thought you ought to know. :3
~Cat





Every first draft is perfect, because all a first draft has to do is exist.
— Jane Smiley