Whippersnappers- SunnyElders Local News

SunnyElders Local News

"GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS!"

A local resident of Oaks Neighborhood was minding her business in the lawn on the day of October 31st, 2014. Margaret Thoms reported that troublesome "whippersnappers" approached her lawn and began to call out hurtful comments, such as: "Do you know what Y.M.C.A means?" Thoms remarked that she did not answer the question, and demanded them to leave. Margaret was outraged that they treated dear elders such as herself this way.

"They looked like disheveled, drowned rats," Margaret reported with distaste. These rats appeared to be Phat Fat and Peeta Mellark. They also called her other offensive comments, telling her she was just a crazy old lady. Margaret claimed she never did anything harmful to these "youngin's", and that she'd never seen them before in her entire life. (In fact, she didn't even know one of the "rats" gave her a name that is off of the Hunger Games.... LOLOLOLOL)

When police came to tell these "rats" to knock it off, they said that this woman had threatened to throw pie a pie at them, and wave her cane around like Cotton Eye Joe. Police reported that actually these children were only eight-year olds, (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) and that Margaret was a 93 year old, whom had horrible eyesight and could barely hear. Police also mentioned that Margaret imagined most of the "so-called hurtful comments". Police redirected the children to their parents, and Margaret was disgusted by the police's actions. (I suggest you watch out for this crazy lady!)

Comments

(There is some grammar mistakes in here on purpose.)

flowertart: Margaret is my neighbor. I do not know why you are making fun of her, but I find it offensive. She is a very nice old woman, and we often have tea parties on Sundays. Why must you do this so unjustly? It is very unkind to call her a crazy lady.

"Replies to flowertart's comment"

Chromat: GRANDMAS HAVE TEA PARTIES?!?!! EWW!

dude: rofl

flowertart: .........

teenteenygirl74: Old people these days.. I mean like seriously.. my friends disapprove of me reading this but, LIKE, I don't care!! Like, why can't my friends just leave me alone?! It's really fun to make fun of! LIKE, DUH!!!! They should start a friend revolution or something.

annaymouse: wut iz dis. dont make senzse. what lol is??

Sofun: PSSSHHHH..... at least she didn't actually do that "Cotton Eye Joe thingy" or else I would've screamed in a pillow. That song is red-neck only.

"Replies to Sofun's comments"

Littlebirdy: Please do not stereotype people, it's a disgusting thing to do. She may be a crazy old lady, but it's not nice to say that in public. Also stereotyping different people is a mean thing to do, so do not do it. Please.

dude: ROFL IT'S FLOWERTART WIT A DIFFERENT NAME! HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Comments

Points: 344
Reviews: 126

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Thu Jun 29, 2017 2:51 pm

Aleta wrote a review...

Hello Katgirl!

Margaret Thoms remarked that she did not answer the question, and requested them to leave

Remove the comma. Also, "requested them to leave" sounds very strange. Revise it?

"They looked like disheveled, drowned rats." Margaret reported with distaste.

The period in the dialogue should be a comma.

These "rats" appeared to be Phat Fat, and Peeta Mellark.

Another unnecessary comma.

this woman had threatened to throw a pie at them,

Unnecessary comma. Remove. Also, add in the emboldened.

Police reported that actually these children were only eight-year olds. (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) Police reported that Margaret was a 93 year old, whom had horrible eyesight and could barely hear.

These two sentences could easily be combined, instead of repeating "police reported".

Okay, so this was pretty funny! If that was your goal, the congratulations, you nailed it. This is definitely not something you read everyday.

One thing I would suggest is you refer to Margaret Thoms by her full name once, then refer to her by her last name in the rest of the article. That's how most newspapers do it; it looks professional, apparently. So if you want this to look realistic -- or, as realistic as you can get with the silliness in this -- then I would suggest you do this, too. :-)

But other than that, this was pretty humorous. Very silly, I enjoyed reading this. The LOLs and the snide comments the reported weaved in there also made this all the more enjoyable the read. The comments were also pretty funny, but not that bad in grammar. If you really wanna capture this era's generation, u gota hav them tlk lyk dis (please don't >_>)

Hehe hope this review helped!

Points: 1092
Reviews: 10

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Sun Oct 26, 2014 11:45 pm

PerksOfBeingAnna wrote a review...

I'm not sure if this is actually supposed to be a real newspaper article, so if it is not, ignore this comment. If it is a real article, you should not use LOLOLOL in an article. Also, there are some incorrect placements of some periods in dialogue. They should be commas. This was a funny article, but I think you should add more details to make me laugh even harder. Keep writing! I can tell you are talented. Keep up the good work!

Points: 4261
Reviews: 933

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Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:14 am

Iggy wrote a review...

Hello!

Margaret Thoms remarked that she did not answer the question, and requested them to leave

Remove the comma. Also, "requested them to leave" sounds very strange. Revise it?

"They looked like disheveled, drowned rats." Margaret reported with distaste.

The period in the dialogue should be a comma.

These "rats" appeared to be Phat Fat, and Peeta Mellark.

Another unnecessary comma.

this woman had threatened to throw a pie at them,

Unnecessary comma. Remove. Also, add in the emboldened.

Police reported that actually these children were only eight-year olds. (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) Police reported that Margaret was a 93 year old, whom had horrible eyesight and could barely hear.

These two sentences could easily be combined, instead of repeating "police reported".

Okay, so this was pretty funny! If that was your goal, the congratulations, you nailed it. This is definitely not something you read everyday.

One thing I would suggest is you refer to Margaret Thoms by her full name once, then refer to her by her last name in the rest of the article. That's how most newspapers do it; it looks professional, apparently. So if you want this to look realistic -- or, as realistic as you can get with the silliness in this -- then I would suggest you do this, too. :-)

But other than that, this was pretty humorous. Very silly, I enjoyed reading this. The LOLs and the snide comments the reported weaved in there also made this all the more enjoyable the read. The comments were also pretty funny, but not that bad in grammar. If you really wanna capture this era's generation, u gota hav them tlk lyk dis (please don't >_>)

Hehe

hope this review helped!

~Iggy

Points: 648
Reviews: 74

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Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:49 am

WindSailor wrote a review...

Hello WindSailor here to review! This is a very interesting article, definitely different from the normal on here, which is always great to see. I will start with what I liked first. First off, I liked that you played on a common perception of angry old people, it was something that is relateable to most cultures, and is just in general, a great topic for us crazy teens. However, I wasn't a fan of the text speak inside of the news paper entry, it kinda hurt its realistic view. I felt that those would have been better suited for the comment section, seeing as how that section is meant to be less strict in grammar. Other than that I didn't notice much else, it was a unique piece. I didn't comment on errors in grammar since you said that some were intentional. Overall, it was a funny piece that could use a tad bit of work. Definitely keep writing these, I could see it going quite far with some effort.

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