There is a lot of grammar mistakes in here on purpose. This is just a humorous summary of the book.. xD
Bella soit comme " oh edward sauve-moi je meurs ahhhh et edward le sparklevampie être comme " oh député U Wanna me marier?"
Bella be like "oh edward save me i die ahhhh" and edward the sparklevampie be like "oh hon u wanna marry me"
"edward marche arrière ou bien je vais hurler et tout ça" says retarted Jacob .
"edward back off or else i will howl and stuff" says retarted jacob.
" arrêter de se battre sur moi les gars u peut me présente à la fois bc je suis génial d'être équitable avec vous tous . "
"stop fighting over me guys u can has me both bc i am awesome to be fair with y'all." say dumb bella whom marry at 18.
hundred day later, bella haz baby
"geez jacobe back off bc this is my baby ok" shove him away and scream and cry, throw temper tantrum
Edward does it for her bc bella is lazy and always demands him to save her life because he is sparkle vampie and all ze fangirls love a sparkling vampire. just wow.
"but I love ur baby" howl Jacob sadle.
"go away" Edward push Jacob with foarce.
"crap u' say bella.
Jacob run away howl to his friends
bella crie sadly and drink meat
"why be this way? why' cry bella. "I wante to cheat on both of you. but no. I don't get to. why Edward"
Edward comfort bella. :-)
7 year later
"no the coven no no no run away my baby on Jacob" say bella fierce.
coven glance at bella. coven snorts like pig In disgustz.
werewolf Jacob run way with 7 year old smarklehoff (bella baby.)
"it okay bae" say Edward, standing bold in snow, takes vid of sparkle self
"not right now hunnn" say bella.
"I AIN't honey boo boo child m'kay" say edwrd angrile.
bella screams at hi m and demand divorce.
coven be like wutever and walks awyw
end of story. they got dirvorceed and than she be with Jacob. she scream at him. run away.
(didnt' read the ending so i'lm going to make it up)
(The author of the book thinks she is GREAT!!! Boring love triangle much? On top of that, she adds a disgusting scene in the last book.)
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello, Katgirl! One, I am sorry if this review offends you at all. I do not mean to be harsh. Two, my reviews tend to ask a lot of questions to the author. You don't necessarily have to answer them, but it helps to think about the story in a whole. Now, here's the review.
Getting off topic. This is one of the few cases where misspelling can lead to much confusion.
One of my questions is why is there spelling mistakes? It just makes the whole story overall harder to read, so it's harder to get an audience that's there for your writing and not to critique the mistakes. Another question is: why is the first part in French? (Or what I am assuming is French.) Is that something from the book when Bella had a French thing? Because I am really confused.
says retarted Jacob .
I personally have a huge problem with the adjective that was used here. So I will leave you with this link: http://media2.mic.com/50f07dd747c73c589 ... d47d2e.jpg
Also, if you still want to use that word... *retarded
Another thing, why is the story in italics? Does it aid the story telling, was it something in the book? Once more I am really confused.
Even though this was a summary, it was really hard to read. I feel like some of the characters weren't given enough justice in this 300+ word piece. Perhaps add onto this, give us a little description? The places they go don't have to be described either! Just how the characters look and such. Though, looking at summaries of other books, I see that dialogue is rarely used. Maybe cut down on the dialogue and focus on more of the events? From this, I barely know anything.
"but I love ur baby" howl Jacob sadle.
I'm not going to go into the tenses, the "ur," or capitalization. However, the "sadle" really threw me off guard. It took me re-reading this piece a few times to realize it was supposed to be: sadly. Or at least, I hope it was supposed to be sadly! Otherwise, I'm a little lost...
I really don't have much to say about this work, anymore. I've gotten what I wanted across! Well, I hope you have a great day and keep on writing!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was hilarious, but there is one thing I don't totally get. In paragraph four, is Jacob retarted (I suggest you use a different word for fear offending people), or is he retorting? Another thing to add to make this laugh-out-loud is misspellings that spell other words. Such as: Bela traded to leaf (Bella tried to leave). It makes the story a whole lot more nonsensical, which I believe is what you were going for.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was hilarious, but there is one thing I don't totally get. In paragraph four, is Jacob retarted (I suggest you use a different word for fear offending people), or is he retorting? Another thing to add to make this laugh-out-loud is misspellings that spell other words. Such as: Bela traded to leaf (Bella tried to leave). It makes the story a whole lot more nonsensical, which I believe is what you were going for. Overall, nice job!:P
Hello, Katgirl! I saw this a few days ago and said, "I'm going to review it." So, here I am. Before beginning this, I would like to say a few things. One, I am sorry if this review offends you at all. I do not mean to be harsh. Two, my reviews tend to ask a lot of questions to the author. You don't necessarily have to answer them, but it helps to think about the story in a whole. Now, here's the review.
One of my questions is why is there spelling mistakes? It just makes the whole story overall harder to read, so it's harder to get an audience that's there for your writing and not to critique the mistakes. Another question is: why is the first part in French? (Or what I am assuming is French.) Is that something from the book when Bella had a French thing? Because I am really confused.
I personally have a huge problem with the adjective that was used here. So I will leave you with this link: http://media2.mic.com/50f07dd747c73c589 ... d47d2e.jpg
Also, if you still want to use that word... *retarded
Another thing, why is the story in italics? Does it aid the story telling, was it something in the book? Once more I am really confused.
Even though this was a summary, it was really hard to read. I feel like some of the characters weren't given enough justice in this 300+ word piece. Perhaps add onto this, give us a little description? The places they go don't have to be described either! Just how the characters look and such. Though, looking at summaries of other books, I see that dialogue is rarely used. Maybe cut down on the dialogue and focus on more of the events? From this, I barely know anything.
I'm not going to go into the tenses, the "ur," or capitalization. However, the "sadle" really threw me off guard. It took me re-reading this piece a few times to realize it was supposed to be: sadly. Or at least, I hope it was supposed to be sadly! Otherwise, I'm a little lost...
I really don't have much to say about this work, anymore. I've gotten what I wanted across! Well, I hope you have a great day and keep on writing!
~Rae,
Honestly, I have no idea why I put it in italics, or French.. I guess I just felt like it.. xD basically I'm "summarizing" my point of view, in which I'm putting it into a less educated person's thought of it, such as somebody that doesn't know grammar very well.
I didn’t like the books or the movie. So, this is really point on; on how I feel about the whole thing. I didn’t really see what the uproar was about when it hit my high school. EVERYONE was reading it but myself, well that’s what it seemed like. I remember when one of my classmates ran to me asking me if I read it. I said no and then she goes on babbling about Edward this and Bella that and Jacob this. I just sat there pretending to listen. Smh.
Personal opinion is that this is over the top, satire, and offensive to a point.
I did put it in the dramatic section for a reason, people don't have to read this if they are offended by the topic.
Yes, because putting it as 'dramatic' for a reason makes everything better.
I'm not offended by everything, very few things actually, but using 'retarted' is just crude.
That was very amusing to read... and kind of hateful :p Though, I did have a slightly unhealthy obsession with the books in middle school (and good lord Taylor Lautner's ABS). However, I now find the books as bland and boring as you seem to!
After reading Amelia Atwater-Rhodes's books.
Seriously. If you haven't read those already, go do it. In the Forest of the Night, Demon in my View, Shattered Mirror, Midnight Predator, and Persistence of Memory. Go read them. NOW. No sparkly vampires and shiiiii-stuff. Stuff. I meant stuff.
Normally I would be correcting things left and right, but because this seems to be supposed to written this way, it's fine with me
Wait. Disgusting scene? WAS THERE SEX?! I must know, person!!
No it was Bella giving birth it was DISGUSTING she described it like head on (talking about blood and crap)