z

Young Writers Society


12+

People in the park.

by Evander


This is a limerick.

Went to the park today.
Where pedophiles come to play.

Now before you tell me,
your name is Shelby.

I am leaving, good day.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
254 Reviews


Points: 25917
Reviews: 254

Donate
Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:43 pm
IamTraunt wrote a review...



Hey! IamTraunt here!

So, I did my research:

a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse of three long and two short lines rhyming aabba


I find this short, but quote witty. You really link this back to real life as many pedophilic people roam the streets, the parks, even cafés, theme parks and shopping malls - which very concerning. I like how also cut off your 'I' at the beginning in Stanza 1, Line 1 as it make me think of a casual, slang talking person talking in a bawdy way (dealing with sexual matters in a comical way; humorous). You put the point across, not in a formal way, but an informal way which was clear and understandable.

Well done, Raven. Great job!




Evander says...


Thanks for the review!



IamTraunt says...


You're welcome!



User avatar
254 Reviews


Points: 25917
Reviews: 254

Donate
Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:42 pm
IamTraunt says...



Oops. Forgot to say: It flowed well and was absolutely BRILLIANT.




User avatar
305 Reviews


Points: 431
Reviews: 305

Donate
Sun Apr 27, 2014 3:47 am
speakerskat wrote a review...



Hey there Kat here to write a review for you and Team Reviewlution!

It was certainly interesting and short. your dad helped you with this? I assume you are the ounger person the people are attracted to and the girls name is Shelby and you just really want to leave? Good job and even though it's so short it was still a very enjoyable read. thanks

~Kat




User avatar
184 Reviews


Points: 36
Reviews: 184

Donate
Wed Apr 02, 2014 8:30 pm
View Likes
RoyalHighness wrote a review...



RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
I like this limerick! I'm particularly a lover of limericks, so this was such a treat for me.
I don't get the whole name thing, but it's probably because I'm rather sheltered.
I like the second line, so catcha01, you are not alone! :D
I like that you stuck to the limerick format. That's difficult to do nowadays with all these newfangled contemporary pieces, but you did a great job! I know the rhyming ones are harder to write, but you've mastered it!
Hope to see more poetry from you soon! Keep writing, don't talk to strangers.




User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 467
Reviews: 52

Donate
Wed Apr 02, 2014 8:21 pm
View Likes
catcha01 wrote a review...



Hello, RavenMoonStone, Catcha01 here with a review!
I like your limerick. Its interesting and a very interesting way to view and reiterate people in the park.
You stuck the limerick format which is good. The poem also flows well and is comical as it should be.
Line 2 caught my attention and made me laugh(I'm a special one).
Aside from this, there really is no criticism to provide for your limerick. Good Job!
Happy Writing!
~Catcha01





Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
— Voltaire