Young Writers Society

Hi, hope you find my review helpful. A well- written poem with a very original idea. It is not often that people consider the disadvantages of being a smart person and fit it so well in a poem. A really sad poem- how could the guy have murdered the incredibely sweet girl.( but not so sweet at the end) My favourite stanza was:

"Those times we've had.
Didn't you notice my blush?
Okay, I guess you did not,
so sure, I had a huge crush."


i also think that some stanzas were forced so you could work on that. And, some stanzas sounded awkward.

Overall, a very nice,sad poem. Hope to read more of your work soon.

- Anshira, Red team

Hi, KittyCatMeow! FireFox here to review your poem for the Apple Dumpling Gang on this fine Review Day!

Needs Improvement:
1. Grammar. I didn't really see any spelling errors, but I could have overlooked them. You have a few grammar issues here and there, but I won't nitpick, as I know others will. That is for your final draft anyway.

2. I feel that some stanzas were a little forced... Your rhyme scheme was not stable, but that is alright, because it doesn't have to be. But a poem should not feel forced - it should flow freely and sound good through and through. Here is a stanza I felt sounded rather forced:

"Okay, maybe I'm nerdy,
and you compare me to that birdie,
who's singing too loud,
for you to like thee."

This is one stanza you could try to work on to make it sound less forced.

3. Honestly, some of the lines and stanzas didn't quite make sense and seemed like they were there just to fill up space. You could go back through here and nix the things that aren't necessary, but add some things to make it even better. An example of one that doesn't quite make sense:

"Now I make you
filled with guilt.
I didn't mean that,
forgive me, oh please!"

Doesn't quite read right, but it could with a little bit of work.

All in all, not a bad poem. It was a good poem, and just needs a little TLC to get it shining. This is a piece easily relatable to by readers, being that we all know what it's like to be picked on or left out. I hope you will continue to work on this piece!

-FireFox

This was a really cute poem! I really liked it! You rhymed everything very well for the most part, the only thing I can think of that sounded only a little forced was in the third stanza, when you used the word "thee", to me it just seemed a bit awkward in the context, due to the contemporary feel to this.