12+ Violence

Network of Keys Chapter 7: Cynthia, More of the First Floor

Tall, dark green grass surrounds Ky and I, yet the unrealistically bright sunshine still shines down on us. Ky is once again overly happy and excited. Maybe he is glad that the obscene holes in our bodies from being bitten have mysteriously disappeared overnight, like the Tower is one of those Darkside things they call video games. That really nice elder woman made my uniform pristine again, like, once again, a video game or magic. I calmly push aside the grass, each strand of grass being as tall as a full grown man, and walk swiftly along what I hope is the path. The smooth, mowed path we were walking along had suddenly been cut off by the sea of grass, so we assumed that in here we could find the path again. Suddenly a loud, joyous squeak bursts out of nowhere, and something little and furry pushes me to the ground.

“Ky,” I groan, but when I look at the thing, xe is not a ponmik at all.

Round, black rodent eyes stare into mine. They belong to a chubby, flat face that is merged right into its body. Triangle ears flop lazily on the Fantiture’s head. Thin legs with tiny three toed paws jut out of the brown ball of wool. With a wagging tail, the creature smiles down at me.

“Hey,” I say, rubbing my hand along xer soft back, “Aren’t you cute?”

“Eee,” xe replies.

“What is it?” Ky asks.

“Who knows,” I say, “but xe appears harmless.”

Ky walks over and sniffs at the wool ball. In reply, xe licks Ky’s face. He snuggles the friendly Fantiture before xe tackles him to the ground and smothers him with kisses. I sit up. Giggles erupt from both creatures until Ky pushes the smaller animal off. Worry paints his face as he cautiously looks around. Then a familiar noise murders the joy of the moment: an awful sound, like metal scraping and banging metal. Looking up, I see the huge, long muzzled head of my first antagonist. Instantly I tense and aim my hand at zim just in case ze starts trouble. Before I can react, though, ze lunges down to the ground and back up again. Despair punches me hard in the stomach. Ze has snatched both Ky and the fur ball.

“NO!” I scream, scrambling to get on my feet, but the metal beast starts chewing. Blood, fur, and desperate screams of pain spill out of its mouth with each chomp.

I let the explosion fly out of my hand and collide into the monsters throat. Only the force of the blow makes the giant violently spit out a wad of gray and red. The wad crashes into the ground and trembles.

“KY!!!” I wail, flailing to my tattered friend.

From behind clouds of tears, I can see that he is still breathing, but the breaths are abrupt. He doesn’t look up at me even though he keeps gasping “Oh no.” I assume he’s unconscious. Brown fluff and blood rain down as I hear what sounds like a burp. Oh dear gods and goddesses ze just ate and killed that poor innocent wool ball. I wipe off the tears with my uniform sleeve. I can’t cry, I can at least try to save Ky’s life. Poor Ky is smothered in blood with more of the substance leaking out of him. The blood covers all his cuts, broken limbs, and other wounds. A quick glance at our attacker reveals an open mouth full of candy red stained teeth, like the Fantiture is going to dive back down again to destroy the ponmik for sure. I don’t hesitate protecting Ky this time and cover him with my own body.

“C’mon Killer! Why ya hesitatin’?” a boy’s voice says impatiently, “Go fo the kill!”

Slowly, I lift my head up to look at the speaker. Sure enough, right next to “Killer” is a boy about ten years old. I stand up, shaking with fury.

“How dare you!” I scream at the kid, “You think this is funny?! That was a living thing that died!”

“Well,” he replies arrogantly, “I saved ya, didn’t I?”

“From what!?” I retort, “From being cuddled to death?”

“Yeesh. Just tryin ta help. Ya was facin two Fantitas at a time. Without me ya probly would’ve died.”

By this time I realize that I’ve been unconsciously creating fire in hands. Trying to calm down, I take a deep breath. He’s just a kid, after all, and he probably doesn’t know any better. The kid is making an annoyed fish face, narrowing his brown eyes and puffing his freckled cheeks. He doesn’t quite look like a typical Sunnyside ten year old with his haughty stance, dark baggy clothes, and backwards hat. I put out the fire in my palms.

“Look,” I say, “I’m sorry I freaked. It’s just where I come from, we try our best not to hurt anything at all. I'm not quite used to your um, culture. Also,” I gesture to the bloodied pile of gray, “That is my pet you tried to kill.”

“Oooooooooooaaaaaaawwwwwwwww,” Ky groans softly.

“Well SOR-RY,” says the boy, “I didn’t knaw.”

“Can you help him?” I plea.

“Naw, but ya knaw? This calls fo a battle.”

“Oh possibly lost Keys of the Tower no.”

“Ya.”

“No. No thank you. I don’t have any Fantitures.”

“Ya have him,” he points to the half maimed Ky, “He looks healthy enough.”

“I beg to differ, I need to get him to a hospital.”

At that I walk over to Ky, but before I can pick him up the boy shouts an order to Killer. Killer dives down towards Ky’s body. I lunge for Ky and channel fire to my back. Sure enough, I beat Killer to his next meal and he shrieks in pain when he burns his tongue on my back. With one swift move I scoop Ky up and run blindly away from the wicked boy and his wicked beast too. By sheer luck the grass parts to a perfectly paved path. I sprint along this path until it opens into a large town. There, I try to find a hospital. Wooden buildings much more modern and bigger than that of the previous village fill every spot possible.

Even though the buildings vary based on use, I can’t tell which could possibly prove useful. I don’t want to end up walking into another gym again. I don’t want to accidently lose the poor ponmik’s life. I scurry through the town until I see a building that looks odder than the rest. It is much smaller and made of metal. By this time, my chest is soaked and stained in Ky’s blood. It is a wander one little creature could bleed so much and still be alive. However, his breathing is shortening and getting shallower with each passing breath. Taking a deep breath, I enter push open the glass doors. This has to work.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Umbra413 Review

Hi! I liked how you made this chapter connected to pokemon, with how the wild fantiture appears out of the grass and the boy attacking it. I also liked how the metalic creature from before comes back in as the boy's faniture and helps explain what it was that was attacking them before. Finally, I like how you ended the chapter as kinda a cliff hanger instead of just stating what happens when Cynthia opens the door.

Thanks XD Also, best profile picture ever you have there.

Hey rainbow let's get straight into it shall we? Love this story so far you are so brilliantly talented in writing story's and keeping your readers attention it's amazing. A few questions I have while reading is what is a ponmik. And what was the creature that attacked ky and that Adorable sheep, cat ball of fluff? And lastly, will that boy appear again in a later chapters to come? or was his appearance a one time deal? alright now that the questions are over lets move on to the praise of the brilliance you have displayed. I love the sarcastic comical thought at the end whether it was suppose to be or not " its a wonder one little creature could bleed so much and still be alive" it was a comical realize to the morbid act of a adorable mauling I should say :3 Just a few typos like wander as it should be wonder ( unless you were trying for a southern accent) Also the fire balls were a very epic idea that I was shouting out " You go girl you mess up that killer for hurting ky!". Overall, I am dyeing to read chapter eight and find out if ky will be alright and if they succeed in mission

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TimmyJake
Review

Timmyjake here to leave you a short review!

Ok, now I really liked this. You have a talent for writing. You drew me in to your story immediately. I haven't read your other chapters, but I will soon. :P
I will just hit my little nitpicks straight away. :)

Maybe he is glad that the obscene holes in our bodies from being bitten have mysteriously disappeared overnight, like the Tower is one of those Darkside things they call video games. That really nice elder woman made my uniform pristine again, like, once again, a video game or magic

That part didn't seem to work for me. I mean, it seems as though video games are evil here, but to have your suit become pristine again, like, once again, a video game or magic-I don't think it does your description justice. And I like the magic wayyy better than comparing it to a video game. Just my opinion. :)

Oooooooooooaaaaaaawwwwwwwww,” Ky groans softly.

That groan is a little long, I think. Usually in a book, I see people groan, but one that long is never seen. Maybe cut it a bit shorter?


MONSTER!” I scream at the kid, “YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? SOMEONE *DIED*!”

That word at the end, with the funny little marks beside them, *died*. I think you should leave them out. Having the word capitolozed is an attention grabber enough, I think.

At one part in your story, your characters are talking, but there is no movement. Its he said, she said, he said, except without the he said, she said. There is just talking. Maybe you could throw in a little movement there. Maybe the boy goes and lays a hand on Ky or something and frowns. I don't know. That part just seems empty.

I really liked this one! I should go back and read your others, huh? Keep writing!!!
~Timmyjake

I wanted to hint at the video game theme. But thank you! :D

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KittyCatMeow
Review

Hello, rainbowcabbit! Reviewing your chapter here!

Funny how humans name such tasty food after animals.


I don't see where this was based off of. There was a place where it said something about tasty food or animals mushed together. You get the point.

and its very risky."


I cannot resist not to nitpick. There needs to be an apostrophe in its sine its is the possessive form. If you ever get confused, think of it is and see if it fits well.

Our nightly stay has fully healed both of us; we don't have obscene holes anymore.


Typically, no one heals that quickly in one night - fully. Come on, don't overpower your protagonists. That's how a story gets boring.

Other than that, this short chapter entertained me, and it was pretty interesting.

My rating:

8/10

This was too short, but it could be only a section of the rest of the chapter. With only a few more minor areas where there may be improvement, this is a well-written piece.

Keep writing! ;)

~Kitty

I meant to make the tower game-like, that's how they heal fast. I'm sorry ):

It's okay, :3 just be sure to mention that, so no one gets confused.



Life is a banana peel and I am the fool who dared to tread on it.
— looseleaf