no it was a lie trust me all boys do that don't even let him know that you'r in love with him because he will have so many lies to tell you aboute hhhh i's a beautifull poeme i really can't give usefull feedback but i really like it
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tear stained cheaks,
are the sign of my pain.
you promised you loved me,
you promised you cared,
but when i needed you most,
you forgot to fight.
to fight for my heart.
to fight for me.
to keep me in your arms.
did you even care?
did you ever love me?
did i ever hold the key to your heart?
like the key i gave you.
was it all just a lie?
or did you just hide the truth.
no it was a lie trust me all boys do that don't even let him know that you'r in love with him because he will have so many lies to tell you aboute hhhh i's a beautifull poeme i really can't give usefull feedback but i really like it
Hiya alilovessandy! I love the flow of your poem and it's great. I'm only new to this site so I can't really give useful feedback haha Nevertheless, this poem is great and it just made me feel what you were trying to make the readers feel. <3 xo
~great job!! xo
Hey there, pandabear7 here for a review. First of all, the poem had a great flow. I like your poems, honestly. lol. This is my second poem I have read of yours and you can always just feel the feeling you are trying to portray throughout the poem. It's more of poem telling me a story which I really like! Yet it seems to be heartbreaking. Anywho, keep up the good writing.
-panda
Beautiful, just beautiful. I liked what images that were projected into my head because of your simplistic yet divine descriptive phrases you had. You have a real knack for poetry it seems.
It had a nice flow, and contained lots of rhythm, which is pretty important in some poems.
However, like all work, there was one mistake I picked up.
It was a rythmic mistake, if that makes sense hahah.
"but when i needed you most,
you forgot to fight."
I might be being a bit harsh, but this bit just killed the flow a little bit for me. But apart from that, you rocked it. Good job
Hey there, I am going to review your work.
I'll start with the corrections, okay?
According to The Squills, lines in every poems are not required to be capitalized, but in your case, since you are using full stops on the a few lines, I'd recommend that you capitalize those preceded by periods. Use this suggestion on your "I's", too.
Positive parts! Everything except the corrections I just made.
Nice going with reflecting the emotions and questions like the lines in your poem sounded great. I hoped the poem was longer, I was so drawn into reading this
Keep it up and cheer!
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