Young Writers Society

This is very cool.
"A writer's frustration
comes from the mind
we keep thinking and thinking
until our poem falls out of line"

This is my favorite stanza. It is really funny how in your first serious moment of reading your poem, you realize what you stated in this stanza comes true through the rest of the poem. I think your poem is very random, talking about paper, then sweat, then complaining about writing habits. Knowing you, I think that is what you were going for. So, well done. Bravo! This I would think takes practice. Once you get in the habit of good sense making poetry, it is hard to go back to a beginners point of view. However, there were some low points in your poem. Only the first line of the stanzas were capitalized. I do believe that all lines should be capitalized.
There is no punctuation in this poem. I saw two. You at least need a period at the end. It makes the poem look uncomplete or unfinished. There also should be some commas in there as well.
In the 6th stanza, first line, I think "time after time" should be "dime after dime" they both make sense, but I think "dime" in contrast to "coin" would make more sense than "time".
However, this poem was great! I really enjoyed it.
-Racket

This poem is extremely accurate. I like how you use repetition with the word "until" and its synonyms, it's a solid, followable pattern.

There is a lack of punctuation. It's kind of a run-on sentence. You're rhyme scheme is also a little unsteady, but that didn't throw me off too much. Some of the lines run on a little to long, disrupting the flow of this poem.

Also, "persperation" and "sweat" are the same things

"Hunger and thirst we ignore completely/ that we eventually..."
As a poem is constructed like sentences, i do not believe that is correct grammar. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Overall, it's a good poem with a lot of potential but you need to fix some structural issues and add some punctuation.

I like the way it the poem starts a little bit serious then surprises the reader with a funny line. I am a little bit confused of where the pattern of the rhyming is going, like the stanzas that rhyme don't alternate. Maybe it would be better if everything rhymed and use more descriptive words when you want to tell the reader what's happening. I'm more into the idea of show, not tell. I really liked stanza 5 though, because the image that you described was so random, but at the same time it makes sense which is awesome! I also think that you should add a line or revise your last stanza because since it is the end of the poem it needs some sort of punch or great finale. But this isn't always the case, some writers prefer to end their poems kind of simple to give the poem this aura or emotion that I can't describe. Sorry about that. The poem was overall great and creative and I think is true in some ways for every writer. Good Job!

Nice work..

This poem is nice and humourous which some us writers can relate to.
One thing that bothers me is your strange and inconsistent rhyming. In the first verse you rhyme the 2nd and third lines, the second verse you don't rhyme at all. 3rd verse, first and third lines, fourth verse 3rd and 4th lines and so on. Its different every time. When I first started reading I expected the same as the first verse so when It wasn't I felt this broke the flow.

Good job and keep up the poetry.

Take with salt; mind with care.

Fascinating choice of username.

A writer’s frustration
comes from the mind
we keep thinking and thinking
until we go blind

However many of us
have no trouble doing that
we write and write
and usually it’s about a cat

We write until our brain begs for no more
instead we ignore it
and we waste electricity until we’re poor
because paper is way too old to use

Some people use paper though
and regret it eventually
their hands fall to the floor
when they can write no more

Perspiration and sweat trickle down from our heads
singing, “I’m hot and too hot!”
well, mostly because it’s summer
and we fall sweating onto our beds

Spending coin after coin wasting time after time,
then we eventually have no more money
and we start acting like a mime
and then use paper again for our houses are sold

Hunger and thirst we ignore completely
then we eventually pass out
and we call out from our minds, “save me!”
and then when they don’t, we pout and pout

These are the stages of life of a writer
or maybe they’re not
but this is what we do
and we do it a lot