Hello, Razcoon!
I think this is really cute. It's simple, but the nice kind of "simple" that means a lot of people can probably relate to it, which is really good.
I do have a couple of constructive comments for you:
First, I think, in the second stanza, you could change this line,
I won't try
to win your heart
but please let me fight for you
to something else. Either in the second stanza or in the third. Try to add a few more lines to it. Maybe tell them more about what else he deserves, or how he deserves to be happy, I don't know, just to give you some ideas, but it's really up to you.
The melody I honestly think is cute, and quite catchy (it's still ringin' in my head, actually), but I shall agree with alliyah that it lacks a bit of variety, especially since there's no "bridge" or adlib part (but that can be fixed when a very good arranger gets hold of this song, or when the artist plays with the notes). Maybe you could rearrange (not necessarily change everything) some of the notes in the chorus, just to give it a punch. Remember that the main hook should be in the chorus.
Overall I think this is a good song. I believe (as an arranger myself) that it would fit in a few genres, which is a good thing.
JashaƩl
P.S. Love the Uku... <3 You made me miss it.
Points: 9100
Reviews: 319
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