"I know will meet again." should be "I know we will meet again."
"My tears will dry,
No more ill cry,
But it hurts so bad just to say good-bye."
1.ill should be I'll
2. It would sound better if the second line said: No more will I cry
3. To keep a nice poetic format, you could try using less words in the last line. For example: "but it hurts so bad to say goodbye."
4. Another thing, goodbye doesn't have to have a dash. haha.
"You were my life, My everything
But now sweetheart you're gone" If you are going to keep sweetheart in this line you should have put a comma next to now.
Uh oh, always remember to capitalize "I": "And still----> i <----dont understand,"
"It's so hard when memories start to flow, of all the good times we had planned" There shouldn't be a comma after flow.
"Our god is such a gracious god
He gives us each so much,
He let me keep your memorie near
so we could keep in touch."
I really love that stanza, the only thing I found wrong with it was that "memorie" should be memory.
Great poem, really great.
Toodles.
Points: 1437
Reviews: 41
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