Imprisoned

Hi. Happy Review Day! Wow, I thought this was pretty fantastic. You're writing is quite lovely. Your imagery is fantastic. I could really feel this story. I didn't realize it was about Nazi Germany at first, but once I realized it I found it very powerful. Here's a few nitpicks:

"...the flicker from the blaze reflected off his dark eyes that looked like they had only ever known hate and anger."

I'm not sure why, but this read weird to me. I think maybe it's the use of the word "that" in "that looked like..." I think maybe the word "which" would be better, or just including that last bit in a separate sentence.

"the blood curling screams"

I think you mean blood curdling.

There were also several instances where you used passive voice where I think it would be stronger to use active voice. Especially for a subject like this. You also missed several commas. For instance "I briefly glanced over to my best friend Thomas and strained to see.." should be "my best friend, Thomas, and strained..." That was the biggest thing I noticed as far as grammar.

I think this is a fascinating part of history, and I love that you wrote about the experience of a citizen. People don't always think about what it was like as an ordinary citizen in Nazi Germany, and I find it very interesting. I don't have a lot to critique on this story. I think reading through it out loud would help you catch most of the little errors and bits that just sound a bit funny, but really there weren't many of those. I loved this.

Good work and happy writing!

-Masq

My heart just fell into a bottomless pit, your writing is flawless and beautiful. I love stories like yours, it kind of reminds me of a book I read last year in my high school called Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury have you read it? Burning books, is like burning people. Burning the voices of those people. But you cannot kill or burn ideas, their not alive, but they are just merely there. What I feel you've written shows people of course trying to make a utopian society, which eventually like all utopia's burn and smolder to the ground. And I love it! You have a fictional story that shows the truth within us masked people. We're afraid of ideas, so we burn books, we disagree with ideas, lets burn more books until our world is nothing more but hell engulfed by flames. I hope you continue off of this story, and I hope to read more of your writing! Great job! XD

woops accidently posted a blank comment. sorry.

What can I say? Wow! I got pulled right into the story! I love so many of your thoughts!

" I could hear the blood curling screams of the words that filled the books and the pages fluttering in the wind looked like blistered hands desperately pushing against the piles wood that imprisoned them. We were setting alight thousands of human bodies, getting rid of their existence by destroying every thought they had, every idea and reduced their voices into broken whimpers until silence enveloped the town."

That is just such a deep thought! I never thought of books being like humans and their ideas and thoughts. I'm not much of a writer and I cant really critique, but I can always give my opinion and this sounds like something I would definitely read! Great Job!

One last thing, I'm not much into grammar, but did you mean "me" instead of "my" right here? sorry if I am wrong, just want to help

" freeing my from the harsh voices that always whispered words of hate and the beady eyes of the townspeople that followed me around"

But I cant wait to read more Good luck!