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Quidam



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Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:17 am
bubblewrapped says...



shadows before the sun, and someone
turns out the lights
darkness settles on the stage:
a new act has begun.

cue – daylight
let a shred of pale grey fill the sky.
I can see myself
in the mirror
but the edges are unclear.


Sleepwalking is a curse, but
they woke up Sleeping Beauty with a kiss.
Why should I fear cold water when there are
so many nicer ways to rise?
Close your eyes –
you have too long a journey to let me keep you
from your sleep.

light, now
creeping over plastic props and
waxy fruit behind snuffed-out candles.
a fire-extinguisher lies discretely
in a corner, while
I begin to dress.


Another day, another summer,
and never a true reflection
in my polished glass.
How can I escape to
looking-glass-land
if all I have are shadows and
my memory is blank?

fast-forward, or
mentally rewind. Days are all the same, and
only nights bring different dreams.

the sound of one hand clapping
is barely audible.
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)
  





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Wed Nov 16, 2005 6:09 am
Snoink says...



:shock:

Oh! This is pretty! It reminds me of Lorca. :)

Then again, it would seeing that it's sort of a play, but mostly poetry... but even so! ¡Buen trabajo!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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701 Reviews



Gender: Female
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Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:21 am
bubblewrapped says...



Not that I understood what you just said, but thanks, LOL. I kind of went weird with this one. It happened. I'm still not sure if I like it :? :lol:
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)
  





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3821 Reviews

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Gender: Female
Points: 3491
Reviews: 3821
Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:53 pm
Snoink says...



Oh! Sorry.

Lorca is this beautiful Spanish playwright/poet. His work is simply amazing, and I happen to be doing one of plays, "Bodas de Sangre" so I get to look deep into Spanish literature. I love it. The simplicity of Spanish literature - yet the depth - has frequently left me with my mouth hanging open.

So yes, good work. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  








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