Young Writers Society

Calling on the Experts here!
I need some advice regarding a fantasy novel I'm working on.
First of all, I'm familiar with the "Show, don't Tell" approach to writing (I'm just not very good at it yet ).

My question is, in regards to characters, when is it OK to just "Tell" the reader about them? Where they're from, what they're doing, they're goals, age, appearance etc.

I tried to do it through dialogue, but it felt too awkward. The characters have all known each other for a long time. Explaining their reasoning and goals to each other was just way too forced and didn't make any sense. I had to throw that part out.

The problem is that these people are on a journey (which is almost over), and they all know why they are going there. The problem is the reader won't know unless I just come right out and "Tell" them. And it's kind of important that the reader know know what's going on quickly.

I'm currently considering using a flashback approach to things. Similar to the show "Lost", where the characters are introduced, but you don't know anything about them until the producers show you a clip of what they were doing 3 years ago (or whenever).

So can I just use the "almighty power of third person narration" and write a page or two about who these people are and why they're doing what they're doing? Or is that not the right way to do it?

I know "Showing" is better and more engaging than "Telling", but when is it OK to "Tell"?
I'm really struggling with this at the moment. Any Help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

You have two issues here, which I'll tackle separately:

Your first is how to get readers in the know about what's going on in the story. My biggest suggestion here is not to dump it in all at once, and instead leave hints here and there about what it is they're doing.

I say "hints" because when the author thinks readers Have To Know Something... they don't. I can suffer from that problem a lot, and it's the thing I get comments on every single time. "Leave readers guessing" and "don't bog down the story with all these backstory details" being the most popular phrasing.

Try holding that information back and focus on telling the story in the here and now, giving the backstory as we go. This kind of beginning is known as in medias res and can be very effective. It leaves readers questioning, which gets them to keep reading to find out the details of what's going on.

As for when to show and tell in general:

Telling is good for quick pieces of information that don't need to be expanded upon in detail, or when you're going after a certain style. It can also be good for capturing a very exact mood, because it's being relayed back in a certain voice instead of more objectively. When you show, you give readers more room to interpret the setting on their own, because you're expanding on details and, well, showing the behaviour going on.

Of course, opinions on what showing and telling are differ.

This blog post expands what showing and telling even is. Also gives some idea of what each is better for.

So can I just use the "almighty power of third person narration" and write a page or two about who these people are and why they're doing what they're doing?

No. That's called infodumping, and that tends to be something readers either completely ignore or hate.

It's hard to say what you "should" do without seeing a draft of the work, but one of the things you definitely should not do is infodump. Especially not in third omniscient.

Some things, like physical descriptions, can be told through the narration, but in bits and pieces scattered around. These tend to work well when alternated with descriptions of action, character reactions, or dialogue.

Ex: He was tall, she noted with surprise, wondering how she hadn't noticed before. They had only been traveling together for a week.

Other things, like goals and motivations, must be shown, otherwise they will come across as artificially tacked-on for the sake of plot convenience. Readers come up with their own ideas of characters based on their actions and dialogue; having the narration itself state that a character is X-way is a good way to annoy readers, especially if they perceive the character as acting contrary to the informed attribute.

Ex: The narration may state that a particular character is always courteous, and yet, in one scene, that same character might mistreat an unimportant or "evil" character. This would be seen as a contradiction between the informed attribute of "always courteous" and the observed "jerk to unimportant/evil people".

When in doubt about information, asking yourself if it is absolutely necessary to know that piece of information right now is a good rule of thumb. A lot of the information you may think is necessary may not be so at that precise moment and can be saved for later sharing. Or not at all.

I usually introduce details in slightly discreet ways, slipping them in with other happening in the story.

If I'm introducing an appearance, I'd slip it in with a certain action. Let's say Character A has blonde hair. I'd introduce the hair colour like so:
I pulled my long blonde hair into a high ponytail when the wind started to pick up.

For reasons, I'd introduce it in a way that it might appear in a normal thought train (studying how we think and speak, and how thoughts and sentences switch topic is rather interesting and helpful for writing). This is also slightly discrete, and the who reason may appear in chunks throughout the story. E.g. Character A hates Character B a lot for a particular reason. I might introduce part of the reason like so:
(Character B) stood there holding my hand. The grainy photo made chills run down my spine. I don't know whether to think of that moment as a better or worse time, considering that it was happening then, while he still pretended to love me.
That bit introduces that something happened between Character A and Character B. In another part of the story I'd explain what it is:
I slapped him in the face, all my fury and hatred aimed at him. I could never forgive him for using me like that. It was so hard to believe that I was just another piece in his games. My mind flipped back to the memory of the photo; he was so convincing back then, but I won't be fooled this time around.
Maybe in a different scene (a reconciliation[?]) the even finer points could be explored.

Hope this helps, and remember, there are no set rules for writing, so do what feels best for you.

All of writing involves telling at some point. If a writer showed everything--well, that would be rather impossible, and also really annoying to read. Usually I'd much rather be told that a character frowned than have to read the exact facial muscle movements he made. So the key, as with most things, is balance. And as with most things writing-related, being very tricksy about it.

I like to think of Information in writing as metaphorical vegetables. Some readers don't mind reading lots of exposition, or lots of "telling." Back in the day, people liked them more, and nowadays people tend to like a very low Exposition/Information to Action/Dialogue ratio.

With that in mind, I turn to your question:

So can I just use the "almighty power of third person narration" and write a page or two about who these people are and why they're doing what they're doing? Or is that not the right way to do it?

And my response is that writing a page or two of Explanation/Exposition/Information is probably not going to keep your reader entertained.



Sure, some people like eating entire plates laden with brussel sprouts, but the reality is that even if you're a brilliant writer--and drown that information in butter and spices--people are going to look at those mounds of vegetable and go find a taco.



But here's the thing about tacos. And pizza for that matter. Tacos and pizza often have vegetables on them (or in them) and people don't cross their arms and make frowny I'm-not-eating-this faces at tacos or pizzas. Just look at this little girl:



Well, some people probably would make yuck faces at tacos and pizza, but we're not concerned about some people. Just most people.

The best way to get information to the reader is sneakily. Ninja-lettuce on tacos, ninja-mushrooms (though technically not vegetables) on pizza. So the reader gets information with bites of meat and cheese and sauce and yumminess and doesn't ever realize that some information just passed through the threshold.

That said, while vegetables are comparable to Information/Exposition/Explanation in many ways, they don't fit at all in others. With vegetables, it's hard to think of someone possibly eating too many of them. They're good for you.

But Information/Exposition isn't really good for a story. It functions more like a banana. Or flour. Something *very* high in fiber, if you catch the drift. So ask yourself these questions:

What does my reader *need* to know?

Chances are, they don't actually need to know it. Certainly not right at the beginning. When you first meet someone, do you tell them all about your life mission and your deepest darkest secrets? No, in most situations, you say hello, and make a light comment, and introduce yourself. Easing the reader in with bits and pieces here and there... bread crumbs.



There's actually quite a good deal of fun in picking up a book and having no idea what's going on, other than that the characters are wonderful. You telling us about the story is always going to be less impressive than the actual story.

Can the reader know later?

Chances are, the answer to this question is yes. Questions about how things will end keep the reader reading. Questions about why a character did this or said that or why the characters are where they are or why one has a limp also keep the reader reading.

Am I telling interpretation and not just information?

Because this is the true danger zone of showing vs. telling. Telling the reader that Bob is seventeen is giving the reader information. Telling the reader that Bob is shy is giving your interpretation of the character.

And quite frankly, your interpretation of characters and events in the story do not belong in the prose itself. It's up for the reader to decide if the character is shy, or brave, and if the character is that way, you show it by writing the character shy and/or brave

If I could sum up all I said here in one kernel of advice, it'd be that good writing is about hiding your telling.

The best kind of telling is the sort that doesn't happen. After that is the telling in one or two words that the reader doesn't notice because it's so well hidden. Then there's the sentence, which is much more conspicuous, and then there's a paragraph, which is probably too much Information/Exposition. Pages are way too much.

Info kills pace, like too much fiber, and thus a lot of it doesn't belong at the beginning of the story, or anywhere where shift and fast and gripping are things you're after. So no evil villain monologues at the end.

In case you're more of a visual learner, I leave you with this final picture:

Best. Forum. Ever.

Seriously, where else on the internet am I going to get four replies as good as those in a 30 minute stretch?

Yahoo answers, wikianswers, eat your heart out.

You have all been a great help. Thank you.
I'm going to have to do some serious restructuring to my chapter though.
But it will be for the best.