Corrupt a Wish [3]

Granted; he instead gives you fifty lashes with the cat-o-nines.

I wish to be a Youtube star for something NOT stupid.

Granted but people get jealous of your popularity and shoot you.

I wish I had some dip for my chips.

Granted, but there's mold in it.

I wish this semester were over already.

Granted, but the country decides that you don't study hard enough and cancels summer vacation.

I wish I had a little brother that adored me.

Granted but he loves you so much he handcuffs you to him.

I wish the sun would be purple.

Granted, but then everyone goes insane and kills the person who wished for the sun to be purple.... (you)

I wish that I wasn't such a procrastinator so I could get this short story done!

Granted; now you have to do everything the moment you think about doing it.

I wish I had a portable piano I could strap to my back.

Granted, but your back breaks.

I wish my head didn't hurt

Granted, but your back does.

I wish chocolate bunnies didn't look like mice when you bite the ears off.

Granted--they turn around and eat YOU instead.

I wish review day would come faster.

Granted, but time doesn't stop moving fast and before you know it, you've aged thirty years.

I wish... That I had some chocolate milk

Granted, but it's so expired and sour the paint begins to peel as soon as you open it.

I wish I tanned.

Granted, but you forget to take your shirt off, so you look like someone bleached your chest. Your arms are a nice tan, though.

I wish I had a private jet and a personal crew.

Granted, but it crashes.

I wish I had a Vera Bradley bag.

Granted, but you forgot it in the bus and someone stole it.

I wish it could stop raining.