Corrupt a Wish

Granted, Now they're just giant and mgnify your eyes like a bug.

I wish for world peace

Granted but many people lose their jobs because they're in the military.

I wish my knees weren't cold.

Granted now they're burning and catching on fire. Are you Ghost Rider?

I wish my religion would tell me everything and not just what it wants me to know.

Granted, but the ultimate knowledge thus gained is too much for your mortal frame and your mind becomes unhinged, opening a gate into hell and leading to armies of ravishing demons (ever heard of a succubus?) and not so ravishing demons conquering the world, turning it into yet another circle of hell.

I wish the demons hadn't conquered the earth

Granted, but now they conquer the Moon, which is frighteningly close.


I wish I wasn't out of aspirin.

Granted, but now the pain is way past asprin and there's no way they're going to prescribe you dilotted.

I wish there were more things to do around here...

Granted but now there's no one to do these things with.

I wish my nail polish couldn't chip.

Granted, but now it never comes off and you're stuck with black or bright pink nail polish till you die. and i mean till you DIE.

I wish I were leaving tomarrow because of ice on Sunday.

Granted, but "tomarrow" never comes.

I wish I was going to be in the US when Deathly Hallows is released.

Granted, but you never get a copy.


I wish I had some chocolate chips. You just can't make chocolate chip cookies without them.

Granted, but the cookies set on fire when they are being baked, leaving you with a pile of ash.

I wish I knew how the universe was created.

Granted but now we have to kill you.

I wish my friend could sleep.

Granted, but your friend never wakes up. (Not meant in a death-ish way, just in a sleeping-in-so-long-you-miss-a-week-of-school way.)


I wish the Rasputin biography I'm reading didn't have so many fragments because it's translated from Russian....

Granted.
It was never translated; you have to read it in Russian.

I wish the local video rental store had a copy of Dr. Faustus.

Granted, but the copy is broken. You can buy it on super-clearance...


I wish I knew how to do this stupid solubility lab.