Corrupt a Wish [3]

Granted but now you must fight to survive constantly

I wish the dudes would post their profiles for my SB already

Granted, but now they're all Mary-Sue's.
I wish Iran brought back the monarchy and I became Queen.

Granted but a new mandate means you must be executed

I wish I could eat

Granted but now you're severely obese

I wish for world peace

Granted but it lasts for like a second then the world reverts to the crapsack it is on that scale

I wish I could become smarter

Granted but now you're a psychopathic dictator that's about to blow up the world

I wish I was better at Lacrosse

Granted, but then you're forced to play in the world championship whereby, through a horrible accident, you get impaled by a particularly pointy lacrosse stick.

I wish I was a better painter

Granted but now you have Parkinsons and your art is horrible

I wish I could time travel

Granted but you create a paradox and die

I wish stupid Titanpad worked!!

Granted but no one joins you. Ever.

I wish my best friend hadn't moved away.

Granted, but he annoys you so much by talking of how he wishes he could move away that you *accidentally* push him off a cliff.

I wish I had a better memory.

granted, but you can only remember all of the unimportant things

I wish I could fly

Granted, you can fly, but you can't land.

Granted. You may never speak again.
I wish I had a glass of water.

Granted, but you find yourself unable to drink it.
I wish nights and days lasted longer.