Young Writers Society

Hildegarde smiled from her seat on the sidelines. Now this was a pun battle, with both contestants consistently giving as good as they got. But Mel just had a certain... flair to her that Lordy undeniably lacked. Mostly because he was clearly irritated by the girl, and was the last in a long line of contestants to already resort to threats or actual violence.

In contrast, Mel seemed like she was actually enjoying the chance to be stylishly clever — those illusory hearts had to have come from somewhere. And she hadn't made a single threat of violence yet. If only Shmebulock were here. Watching the two of them face off — or better yet, team up — could have been the show of the year.

In any case, Hildegarde figured the girl could use an ally. And she had already cheered for Hildegarde.

"You're doing wonderfully, Mel! Your presentation is *chef's kiss*. Such style."

The second Lordy called her Merl, she burst out into a loud, wheezing laugh. "I'm sheddin' a tear, I am!" Mel said between laughs, drawing back and wiping away a happy tear from her eye.

She took a few seconds to compose herself. The laugh turned into giggles, and then she grinned while she took a deep breath as a final way to let it out. Hearing Hildy's cheer in the background gave her a boost in her already near-infinite confidence.

"Man, those are some rabid puns," she said with a smile, turning back to Lordy. "So hiss-toric. Mmm, yeah, fangs 'n claws out, Bored-y! I can tell you're unneutered! So fussy! Frisky! Feral! Meeee-yow! Lickin' my burns! Let me be me your scratching post!"

She was getting louder and louder, her voice sounding more and more like she was taking up his challenge. At this point, she had a wild glint in her eye, and she was pumping her fist in the air.

"Oh! I think there's something else in your cat-alogue that you might want," she said, deciding to change topics.

Mel spun her hands together until it looked like she was holding his flask of rum. She twisted off the lid and then turned it upside down for a few seconds. Some liquid poured out of the flask and puddled onto the ground.

"I think our itty witty kitty fwend would like some wum," she cooed in the most mocking baby-voice she could manage, looking up at him with the biggest eyes and pout.

Of course, the rum wasn't real, and neither was the flask. It was just an illusion.

A fun, hilarious, amazing illusion.

"You want it? You want it? Oh, oh, you want it?" she continued to coo, acting like he was a fetching dog. She backed away from him while lifting the false-flask in the air and shaking it to taunt him.

"Come and get it! Heeeere, kitty kitty kitty! C'mere, kitty kitty kitty! Aww, Bored-y pleeeeeease? Come and play? Maybe if I... beg? And use your pwetty pwuns? Paw-leeeease? Aww, Bored-y, paw-lease!"

But then just like that, she dropped her mild focus on the illusion, and the flask and puddle on the ground disappeared without a trace.

"Just kidding!~" she said in a high-pitched sing-song voice, and then met his eyes with a victorious smirk.

"Rum isn't allowed for cute wittle pussies."

"TIIIIIIME!" K.K. sang as a long, loud, prolonged note. Lordy and Mel's chair zooped up behind him, scooping him up. The cat rave ended. The rum was still gone. And it was time for votes to be counted. Lordy and Mel's seats zoomed back to line up with the other contestants on stage, and K.K. once again took the spotlight.

"Well that's what we call a pun battle!" K.K. congratulated. "Give it up for the contestants!"

The crowd erupted into roaring applause. K.K. waited for it to die down before he went on.

"Well, it looks like this one might be a closer call than last round, but that's all up to YOU! Audience members, put in your votes in the OOC Thread telling us who you think did the WORST along with your questions that we'll ask them in their interviews! Keep the energy going!"

And just as predicted, credits started rolling, K.K. started playing his K.K Song.

Who was the WORST pun master?

Quick information before you cast your vote!

Have you paid your 199 carina soundofmind veernana nickels?

You must be at least 1 month old and be a YWS citizen.

TAG! GO VOTE!
@Mea
@ShadowVyper
@soundofmind
@Vincian
@SpiritedWolfe
@SirenCymbaline
@Vil

AND ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT THE FOLLOWING:
carina
veeren

The round was over, and Mel barely had time to react during the K.K. song since her chair scooped her up and zipped over to the adorable raccoon twins, Timmy and Tommy.

"Oh! It's my turn for the interview!" she exclaimed before they even had a chance to react.

"That's right... right!" Timmy (or was it Tommy? ...Or Tom?) said, shuffling a deck of cards in front of him. "The first question for Mel is from SpiritedWolfe: What does it feel like to have your 5 minutes of fame... fame?"

Mel sat up straight and beamed, looking for the camera. It appeared to be invisible, so she gave up and looked back at the weird but cute cartoon animals.

"Pretty nice," she admitted. "I don't think I've ever been in front of an audience before. I didn't think it'd be about cat puns, but weirder things have happened."

Well, not really. She was pretty sure this was the weirdest thing to have ever happened in her life.

"Alright, next one is from Mea," the twins continued. "What's the best prank you've ever pulled... pulled?"

Mel giggled before she even began saying the story. "Okay, so, a long time ago, I pulled a prank on this girl. She didn't know about my power, and I messed with her by changing her reflection in the mirror to be of someone else. Freaked her out for the rest of the day. She kinda hated me after that, but we're friends now, so it's all good."

"For 599 bells, you can buy your own Nook's Cranny mirror and demonstrate live in front of the audience... audience!" Tommy cooed.

Mel blinked. "What do bells have to do with mirrors?"

They decided to ignore her.

"Next question is from ShadowVyper, and I'm sensing some snark! Shady asks: Can you actually make us some rum now?"

Mel pursed her lips in thought. "I tried making my own wine once, but it turned out to just be grape juice. If I tried making rum, I think it'd just be sugar water."

"The next two questions are in a silent movie format sent by veeren," Tommy said, then pressed a button on his remote. A projection started to play.

"It's called a gif... gif!" they explained.


Mel looked at this mysterious 'gif' with wonder. "Hey, is it possible to talk in gifs?" she asked.


It registered to her that there were words associated with the picture, and then she thought reeeeeal hard of a response, until...


"Wow, I can speak in gifs!" she exclaimed excitedly, not exactly sure why the picture came up with a waggly-brow dog. But stranger things have happened.

"Nothing new here... here!" the twins continued. "Our last question is from soundofmind: Who is your best friend and what do you like about them???"

Mel's eyes seemed to glint with excitement, and she immediately perked up.

"Ah, great question! But I can't just pick one, so I'll just have to go with a list. Hmm, let's see. Well, first, there's Mahkah. He's always been there, real bro, ever since he found me. Honestly, he really is like a brother, but more serious and grumpy. And, oh, do sisters count for this question? Well, she's not my sister-sister since she's not even really human, but Melakite is such a sweetie, and I love her. Hmm... okay, Katya and Zameer are also close friends. Mostly Zameer nowadays since I do most of my work with him. Katya is a little shy, but she's still great fun. Hmm, you know, Zameer is kind of shy too... Huh, I have a lot of shy and grumpy friends. OH! How can I forget? Alistair has been a friend from way back. He's the grumpiest of the grumps, but he's secretly a big teddy bear, and he likes to make me laugh. And, man, it's been a while, but the person who will always be my top best friend is—"

"Times up... up!" Timmy said.

"Wait, no, I'm not done yet!" Mel protested.

"Times up," Tommy repeated, more serious this time.

"Hah, it's actually funny you say that, because—"

And then her chair zipped up behind her and swooped her on her seat, taking her away back to the contestants and ending the interview.

Lordy had about 13 seconds of peace before he was dragged back out on to the stage the same way everyone before him was. He remained seated with an undeserved content smile on his face.

"Well it's time for loser Lordy to answer questions... questions!" The weird twin animals managed to keep even their tones equally annoying, "The first question is from soundofmind! She asks: What's you're favorite alcoholic drink... drink?"

"Hm," Lordy thought for a second, "If I had to be picky then a fine brandy is always the way to go. Not any of that cheap fruity kind that leaves you hungover, but the perfectly aged kind that's been stored for decades. But who am I to judge, I'd suck the muck off the floor of a sewer through a straw if you told me I'd feel a buzz."

"The next question comes from loser Carina: What are your thoughts about marrying a banana and then becoming a viral sensation seven years later... later?"

Lordy began to lose control of his body, feeling the overwhelming presence of an all powerful being possessing him. The voice that left his mouth was no longer his own, "Hey guys, veeren here. Just wanted to say the banana and I are doing fantastic. We have a few grand-nanas on the way and we're excited for our youngest baby-nana to graduate from highschool in a few weeks. Couldn't be happier about all of the attention we're receiving."

Timmy and Tommy looked unphased, "The next question comes from Mea, So how long have you been in a relationship with rum... rum?"

Lordy felt the feeling in his body return, "Well I wouldn't call it a relationship. It's pretty one sided considering the rum keeps on leaving me."

"Our fellow audience member SpiritedWolfe asks the next question, how do you feel about Lorde and her music.. music?"

Lordy scratched his head. He'd never heard of another Lordy in Wonderland, maybe she was from a different universe?

"While I don't know anything about this, uh, Lord of which you speak, it sounds like me and her could make a good Team. Perhaps if she gave me the Green Light, we could be Royals in Perfect Places."

"And our final question comes from ShadowVyper! She asks: Why is all the rum gone... gone?"

Lordy turned slowly to where he lost his cherished flask just a few moment earlier, "I wish I knew."

Before he had another moment to reminisce back to a better time with his flask in his jacket pocket, he was whisked away back to the group. The interview was over.

Mel had returned from her interview, but she listened to Lordy's interview with patience. She had to, after all, listen to her potential loser's answers. When he came back, she looked at him with a puzzled look.

"Hey, you!" she said, ignoring any tension that could be between them. KK was supposed to announce the loser, but it seemed that there was a pause because the writers of this show would rather have a pause in the game show to have the characters interact.

"Who's this 'Veeren' dude in your interview?" she asked quizzically. "Seems like a strange guy. I think he possessed you?"

"Beats me," Lordy said, struggling to figure out what just happened, "I was sort of possessed for the entire thing."

Lordy tried to jog his memory, "Did I say something about bananas?"

Mel pursed her lips in thought. "I think so? I don't know why, though. But K.K. also said something about bananas, though? I'm confused. I thought this was about cats..? What's up with the banans?"

"I'm not quite sure. I feel like if we were in an alternate reality, I'd be nothing but a bunch of bananas with hands and feet." Lordy tried to picture what that would look like, "Only I imagine using someone else's face because they're using mine."

Lordy looked directly at Mel, "Is this what withdrawal feels like?"

Mel looked away in thought, trying to really imagine what it would be like to be reduced to a bunch of bananas with hands, feet, and a face that wasn't hers. In all honestly, it was impossible to imagine, but she had a feeling if this were her, she'd be called a Melnana.

"I dunno," she admitted to Lordy. "Why don't we peel back the layers and find out?"

"I'm not sure," Lordy began to wonder if he could muster up an army of -nanas like he did with his rebels back home. They would surely be known as the Kool Kids.

"I think we should take it one step at a time, if that's... alripe with you?"

Mel scrunched her nose in thought. It was hard to believe that just a minute ago, she was trolling Lordy with almighty cat puns. And here they were, talking about bananas in a sober state.

"Sure," she said thoughtlessly. "Although that's bananas. I think we should just introduce chaos into whatever the hell this 'Roleplay Realm' is."

Lordy, while he still found Mel annoying, began to think she wasn't that bad. She was like a banana that had gotten one too many spots on it for your liking but you'd still eat it if you were really craving a banana.

"Sounds good to me. I just wish we could have a roleplay duover of that pun battle, because I should've been the winner."

Mel giggled and flicked her eyes at Lordy, poking his side. "Are you saying I'm the winner, then?" she said. "K.K. hasn't announced the loser yet."

Although, he should've by know. Why didn't he? We may never know.

"Listen, I know when I'm beat," he shooed her hand away from him, "but I also know that I'm the winner in my own mind and that's all that really matters."

Come to think of it, if K. K. never announced the loser, that also meant there was no winner, so if Lordy were to sound convincing enough maybe people would believe him.