“Oh, nothing,” Carter mused. “I just find it interesting that when you woke up in a strange library surrounded by strangers that your first instinct was to lie about your name - among other things. But I’m not concerned with who you are. I doubt we’re even from the same world, never mind the same time.”
"I don't give a damn if you care," she said, which was quite the opposite of the truth, "Just shut the hell up about it. Don't tell another soul." Despite her still-agitated nerves, the fact that he didn't have a frame of reference for who she was calmed her a bit.
Still, she couldn't help imagining what would happen if someone who did recognize that name found out about her slip up.
It wasn’t surprising to see Queenie so worked up. She’d shown herself to be wrapped in thorns, and he understood she probably felt it was necessary to be that way to protect herself - though probably not consciously. It seemed like she was probably a product of whatever environment she was from: a place where secrecy, deception, and lock-picking were a part of her everyday life so much so that they came naturally to her.
He didn’t know when this information would become useful, or if it ever would, but he stored it away for the time being. He didn’t plan on revealing her secret any time soon, but if circumstances arose where this secret proved useful to him... well, they’d see how it all played out. Leverage of any sort was a good thing to have in a pinch, and Queenie seemed quite adamant that her true name wasn’t spread around. That kind of fear could always become useful.
Or dangerous.
“My name really is Carter, though,” he said. He found it amusing that no one knew who he was. It was interesting seeing how people would treat him when they didn’t know his title or status. It was refreshing, even. “I didn’t lie about mine.”
Esther flopped onto the bed, and was met with the sharpness of springs. It would be an hour yet before they'd be needed in the kitchen. She thought about when they would see Jay and Anna aagain.
"Oof, not the most comfortable," Esther told Skull. Then could hear what sounded like Carter and Elizabeth in what appeared to be the midst of an intense conversation next door. "Sounds fun," she added.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
"At least there's a bed," I said, leaning up against the wall behind me. "And it does seem like the two of them are getting along right now."
I thought for a moment, mulling over my earlier question. Then I had the genius idea of asking the one person who would know what we were supposed to do - besides the librarian, that was.
"So what exactly do we need to do?" I asked. "You have to have some idea of how we're going to save the day - or whatever that librarian wants us to do."
She rolled her eyes again, "Don't mistake my not believing that you used a fake name for me having faith in you. Let's make this clear, I don't trust you, and you have no reason to trust me. Beyond our little couple charade, we don't know a thing about each other. I'd like to keep it that way, if you wouldn't mind."
A little harsh, sure, but it would be so much worse if he started pushing. That slip up was a one-time thing. If a single other piece of information slipped out, she might as well start sharpening her blades.
"Whatever it is, it's not going to be easy," I agreed. I let out a sigh and leaned back a little. How were we supposed to change history quickly? The easiest way to avoid the cult from happening would be...
Oh.
Understanding had suddenly dawned on me. Get rid of Jay, and the cult couldn't happen. But Jay was a kid right now, and there was also the fact that he was Esther's dad.
"...If we change the past so the cult never happens," I said, looking at Esther, "wouldn't that mean you no longer exist? Your parents met through it."
"Yes," Esther said, looking at the wall rather than Skull. "But supposedly I kill myself anyway. So maybe the world would be a better place without me." She paused. "But I don't know how to make the cult not happen without killing my father. And then my brother never gets born either."
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
"Well, the librarian didn't think things through," I said, "or she's more self-righteous than she thinks she is. It's been bugging me for awhile - what makes what your dad did so bad compared to everything else in the world? Where I'm from, I know someone who indirectly but knowingly caused the deaths of countless people. I feel like she deserves it, too."
I shifted a little.
"But that's not the only problem I have with this," I said. I wasn't the type for getting too personal, but I also couldn't sit by after hearing Esther speak. It just felt wrong. "The world's not a better place without you - and it's stupid for the librarian to imply that. Good things can come from bad things."
She glanced at him and said nothing. This would all be easier if she could find a reason to hate him, or, better yet, find a reason to make him scared of her.
She'd meant it, she didn't trust him. If he knew the full extent to which she could make his miserable existence hell, then a bit of faith might be easier to muster. But, of course, the walls weren't nearly soundproof enough for that.
Esther didn't have much of a chance to respond to what Skull had told her, because soon Edith was knocking on their door telling them to come down. As she explained how to cook to them, Esther found herself tuning out. She'd left her job at McDonalds for a reason. But whatever, this was different I guess.
It was slow for the first part of the day, and then someone entered. It was the Librarian.
"Can we help?" Esther asked.
"Yes, I'd like a meal," she said.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
