Simon did not know how to process the chaos going on around him as Carter started to antagonize Corrick. That did not seem like a very socially responsible thing for Carter to do. Once his head turned back to Carter, his face read "Disappointed."
"Peck on someone your own size. You grilled him well, but you can't stand being roasted. We've only chicken-scratched the surface about how raw you are underneath. You seem hot-wing headed, but you're probably cracked inside."
Simon must have learned his anger from Corrick, because then he noticed that human jump out of his seat with fire in his hands. "Oh, and try not to get blackened." At that, Simon stood up to try to block Corrick's leap with his body.
Jerica was too tired of all the puns to even muster up a reaction at Lordy's latest nonsense. She pressed both of her palms against her eyes and rubbed them, a progressively uneasy feeling in her gut as she slowly realized that this was, in fact, real.
The wall behind them wouldn't stop clucking and flashing.
Carter wouldn't stop talking.
At this point, she wasn't sure which one was more annoying.
She could feel Corrick's mood getting darker and darker with each pun that passed. She fully understood. She wished there was something -- anything -- she could do to make it stop. But here they were.
"Well, we can hope so," Jerica answered at last, looking back towards Lordy. "Any speculation on what the 'surprise consequence' is gonna be?"
Before Lordy had a chance to respond, a flash of motion crossed her peripheral vision and she looked over just in time to see Corrick landing on top of Carter. She instantly perked up, a broad smirk spreading across her face. "Now this is fun!"
The dog never said anything about rules against violence, but Carter still felt like this was a little unfair. That said, he was just going to have to roll with it, like everything else.
Simon was not helping. Corrick pushed past him and knocked Carter to the ground with flaming hands - apparently, he was a mage, or something else - but using magic when the rules didn't require it was a--
Wait. That gave him another idea for a pun. Good gods, this game was already affecting him.
He pushed Corrick off, refusing to level with him, and jumped behind the shield that Simon offered, practically t-posing between them now.
"What a cheep shot!" he shouted. "I can take a roast, mind you. I'd just rather not be deep-fried by this fowl, broody, devilled, undomesticated cock!"
Lordy watched as Carter and the other one decided to turn the stage in their own personal arena. Jerica looked like a child who'd just been given candy, the giddiest he'd seen her all night.
"Well," he said as he watched flames and fists fly, "This seem to be quite the problem they've hatched."
Lordy began giggling to himself and turned to find that Jerica was too invested in what was happening in front of them to pay him any mind. He cleared his throat and straightened himself up, "Tough crowd."
"Love is the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete."
Hildegarde couldn't contain her snickers now. The combination of puns and a fistfight was just too good. And honestly, what kind of man-child got upset over being forced to make puns? Corrick could stand to take himself a little less seriously. This all could be a lot worse.
She considered seeing if a particular spell of hers would work and stop the fight (at least for sixty seconds), but decided it was better not to play her hand too soon. Despite the flame hands, no one seemed to be in serious danger, and she could always heal anyone who got too hurt.
So Hildegarde sat in her chair, knitting away at a cardigan while watching the violence unfold.
We're all stories in the end.
I think of you as a fairy with a green dress and a flower crown and stuff. -EternalRain
I think you, @Deanie and I are like the Three Book Nerd Musketeers of YWS. -bluewaterlily
"AND THAT'S TIME, FOLKS!" K.K. Slider hooted before the chaos could escalate. He rose out of a hole on the stage, spinning on the podium before posing with a guitar on hand.
Right on cue, the original seats for Carter, Corrick, and Simon rushed in and scooped them up before returning to the side of the stage with the other contestants. The stage then went dark as K.K. sat on a stool and cradled his guitar with the spotlight shining on his face.
"And now comes the fun part: audience voting!" he squeaked, then looked directly at you.
That's right, YOU.
"You there, reading this!" he said with glinty eyes. "Head over to the OOC thread and cast your vote! Who lost this round? You tell me! And while you're at it, submit one question for Carter, Corrick, and Simon to answer during their private interview. You have until the end of this song to do all of this. Ready? Go!"
And with that, he started to strum away on his guitar.
With the credits rolling, and the dog playing the guitar, Carter found himself magically transported across the stage once again. The chair slid just fast enough that it was uncomfortable, but not so fast that he flew out of it when it came to a stop. And when he did stop, the far side of the stage lit up to reveal another desk, this time, with two... squirrels? No, raccoons, sitting behind it. Though they were just as abhorrent as the dog in proportion.
Carter recalled that they mentioned interviews. This must be it.
He glanced at the crowd with a smile before returning his gaze to the pair of identical raccoons.
"While you send your votes in... votes in," the two raccoons spoke in near-unison. "We're going to ask our competitors YOUR questions...questions!"
One of the raccoons pointed to itself with its paw.
"I'm Timmy!"
The other did the same.
"And I'm Tommy!"
"And now we have some questions for you, Carter...Carter! First up, we have audience member veeren, who asks: Do you make up for the rest of your painstakingly horrible personality by being a pun master...master?"
Apparently, those in the audience had already well-formed opinions of him, or they were far more informed than he'd first assumed. It was hard to believe the latter, but when they were introduced in the beginning, it did seem that the dog knew far more than he was supposed to.
This really was some kind of fever dream.
Carter laughed at the question and looked out into the audience.
"Do you make up for your painstaking bias with passive aggression?"
His not-answer garnered a few "ooo's, "a few "boo's," and a few laughs from the ground. Mixed results.
"Here's one from a sirencymbaline: Silk, or brocade...brocade?"
They really didn't screen these questions at all, did they? They sounded like they were being pulled from a hat.
Carter pursed his lips in thought.
"Brocade."
"Mea wants to know: How's invading Czechoslovakia going for you, buddy...buddy?"
Carter looked out into the crowd.
Spoiler! :
"At least reference something relevant to me if you want a real answer," he deadpanned.
Timmy and Tommy nodded and shrugged together.
"Alright, shady wants to know: Are you as tired of talking, yet, as we are of listening to you... you?"
Carter grinned.
Spoiler! :
"Shouldn't have asked a question if you didn't want to hear me talk more."
"Alright, just a few more, these ones are anonymous...anonymous."
Carter's grin faded and he looked back to the raccoons.
"Where is the rest of you?"
Somehow they didn't stutter on that one.
"Up your -- BLEEP."
"What's the weather like down there?"
"Can't tell when it smells like your -- BLEEP -- awful -- BLEEP."
That elicited some laughs from the crowd, at least.
"For the next one, we have carina who asks: "What do you think about the name 'James'? I think it's a lovely name for a lovely man."
Carter's resting grin froze, and he blinked slowly as the realization came.
So, people in the audience did know about his story. Personal things, no less. Well, he wasn't going to let that get to him.
"I think it's rather dull," he said dryly.
"One last question before me move on to the next interview," the twins said. "Shady - oh, another one from shady - well, shady wants to know: “Why are you a horrifically terrible human?”
Carter slow-blinked again, and let out a deep sigh. He smiled wryly and stared out into the audience.
"Seems like you already know."
And with that, his chair ripped him away from the desk and the next interviewee was pushed forward.
Mel was going to strike a conversation with Hilly about what she was knitting, but Carter's interview was too hilarious to miss. By the time he finished and was zooped back to their area by the magical chair, she grinned and waved him down.
"Those were some funny questions, huh?" she said, initiating small talk. "Hilarious answers and puns, though!"
Lordy listened to the young lady compliment Carter, but he wouldn't be outdone.
"Sounds like you got quite the fanbase out there. Don't worry, I'm not exactly the fan favorite where I'm from either. Of course I'm not evil because I'm compensating for something else," Lordy looked him up and down, "No no. See I think you and I are a lot alike in other ways. We're both hilarious and have dashingly good looks. Well except that only one us is forced to shop in the kids section."
Lordy tapped his cane on the floor.
"I'm only joking. You really kept your cool out there, in the interview. Even during the contest when things started to heat up." Lordy giggled to himself as he turned to face Carter, "Just one concern, though. Really? Brocade over silk? No wonder everyone hates you."
"Love is the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete."
Mel watched as Lordy—(at least, that was what his name tag said, but was that his real name?)—started to drown his own compliments with her own. She raised a brow, deciding to take this as a challenge.
"You're funny too, Lordy," she began. "You should be a comedian! The two of you should. You both would make a hilarious skit. Aw, do I have to go against you during the pun challenge? I think I'd rather watch and laugh from a distance."
Mel didn't like Corrick because he seemed to be grumpy and mean, but Lordy was different. This man was snarky.
He was probably secretly a big, soft teddy bear and didn't like to show it.
"That's okay," she still said with a smile. "I know you'll win anyways. I mean, you were saying some funny puns earlier, and it wasn't even your turn. Can I cheer you on even when I'm going against you?"
Jerica leaned backward to look at Carter, a smirk still playing at her lips as she remembered the glorious moment when Corrick's fist slammed into his face. She was too delighted to even be bothered by the absurdity happening on either side of her.
"Hey, nice performance. That finale." She blew a chef's kiss. "Really saved the whole thing, you know? It seems people already think little of you, but hopefully you'll find some skills that aren't in such short demand."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
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