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Fill-out form for access to Heaven.



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Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:04 pm
Mikko says...



Fill-Out Form For Access To Heaven.
Please see that you answer all fields marked by an asterix (*).


*Name(s): Satan, Lucifer. My Facebook name is 'The Devil'. Jameson, Robert (or Bob).

*Date of Birth: Really? The actual date? That's going to take a few days to calculate. I'm 38, that's all.

*Occupation: Lawyer. Lord of Darkness. I tempt mortals - you know: the usual evil stuff

*Relationship status (circle one):Single. Divorced. Katrina left me back in 2005 or 2006. Irene just left me. They literally blew me away!

*Friends/Aquaintances: None. I have no friends - only allies. Friends are for mortals! On Facebook I have these people on my 'friends' list but I don't care about them much: a whole load of secular artists, the Master, politicians, Hitler, Bin Laden, the Grinch and Voldemort. Oh and of course Side-show Bob.

*Interests/hobbies: I like trees especially the ones that give fruits. I like plants in general. I like skiing over dead souls.

*Dislikes: Nonvulnerable people. Saints. All those who won't let me control them. Married couples. Religious people. Poor people. Humanitarians. Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince ('cause that movie wasn't as great as all the others).Traffic jams.

*Contact(s): 06-06-06. santa.devil@webesoevul.com I don't have a phone. Nor do I have an e-mail address.

Favorite song: Bad - Michael Jackson.

Favorite books: Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown.

Favorite food: Extra Spicy Spice Sauce (with extra spice, mind you.)

*Reason(s) for wanting access to Heaven: I want to take over! I'm the supreme ruler of the Universe! I've had enough of the flames. You have no idea what it's like down there, being locked up for thousands of years sentenced with everlasting labour. I don't even get to go into saunas now - it's too cold and uncomfortable. And some of my business partners have made it up there and it's not fair, you know? Please allow me to enter.
Last edited by Mikko on Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.
when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams
  





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Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:55 pm
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Blues says...



Oh my God, this is HILARIOUS!

I love how you included elements from Christianity (and other religions) like the trees and fruits comment. I just love it. I have two things to point out:

have an e-mail adress.

That should be address.

Single. Divorced. Katrina left me back in 2005 or 2006. Irene just left me. They literally blew me away!

I loved this as well! But since this is the devil, I've heard something like (forgive me, I don't know much on it) Lilith or something being Satan's partner or something. Maybe you could include that.

But otherwise, this was GREAT! I hope I was of a teensy bit of help ;)

Mac
  





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Sat Nov 26, 2011 8:10 pm
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shiney1 says...



HAhaha!! So original. I have to say it is a bit hard to follow at times, what with all of the lines, but I love this!

The Da Vinci Code bit especially made me laugh, since it kind of jabs at Christianity.
"If you ever have a problem don't say 'Hey God I have a big problem.' Rather 'Hey Problem... I have a big God and it's all going to be okay."
  





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Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:24 pm
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murtuza says...



Mikko!

this is hilarious fun! I'm so lol-ed up right now. xD

But seriously, if I had a ticket to heaven, then I'd definitely give it to you! God bless, Mikko :)

Murtuza
:)
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.
  





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Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:36 pm
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Napier says...



This was great, my personal favourite parts being the list of "baddies" your character, presumably the Devil, is friends with (Sideshow Bob is pretty much my favourite Simpsons character) and the fact that his favourite book is the Da Vinci Code. Very clever humour; I'm just sad it wasn't longer!
I love how your Devils likes and dislikes are pretty juvenile and obvious, while still maintaining that intelligence- his favourite song is "Bad" and his favourite food is "Spicy Sauce"- it's just little details like that that makes it so hilarious.
Nice job!
“It is the tale, not he who tells it.”
― Stephen King

“If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”
― Stephen King

Formerly BadlyDrawnLightning
  





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Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:40 pm
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Charlie II says...



I think you're quite right, Mikko -- if the devil were like one book it would have to be by Dan Brown.

Also this made me laugh a lot:
Favorite food: Extra Spicy Spice Sauce (with extra spice!)

You've got a good grasp of humour here -- remember the funniest things are always surprises, so try to build up to the "mini-punchlines" with longer sentences and then the short sharp resolution for impact! While a series of witty one-liners can be amusing, they tend to work better with the spoken word.

Also, along the theme of surprise, you've managed to ace what I think is the main aim of any writing: making the reader reconsider something. People don't often consider "the devil" as anything more than the obvious stereotype, but you've actually made the character into something a bit more. I think the sauna comment is a particularly good example of this!

Finally, and this isn't too important, I just thought I'd mention that you could stop the fake e-mail address appearing as a link by editing the post and checking the "Do not automatically parse URLs" box in the options section below the "Submit" button. It's no big deal, but my inner neat-freak demands that I mention this to you!

Keep up the humour, Mikko -- even silly things aren't a waste of time! ;)


Charlie
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
-- Woody Allen
  





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Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:49 pm
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HollowPointSmile says...



This made me laugh so hard XD
It was kind of hard to read, though, with all the crossed out stuff, but I read it anyway and it was really funny!
It kinda made me thankful that we don't actually have to fill out forms for access to Heaven, that we can get in free. (NO OFFENSE TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE OTHERWISE. :) )
  





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Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:40 pm
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Renn says...



I have no idea how to convey this other than "I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!" It made me laugh oh so very hard, and I approved of the crossed-out bits because it added to the realism of it. Please, keep writing things like these- because it's obvious your audience loves them :)

Keep writing!
-Renn
'Evil exists in all of us Torak. Some fight it. Some feed it. That is how it has always been.'

"There is always a choice," said Torak, and he backed off the cliff.
  





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Mon Nov 28, 2011 2:31 pm
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apple96 says...



Hey, I loved this but one thing I spotted was the email address . . .

06-06-06. santa.devil@webesoevul.com


The Devil is Santa :O

But . . . But . . . Santa brings presents and makes everyone happy. . .

- apple96
'Are you saying Ni to that old woman?'
'Yes'
'Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history'
  





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Tue Nov 29, 2011 10:12 pm
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Cannonball says...



ahah so strange.
  





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Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:12 pm
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Joanne Adylse Lynne says...



This is very creative, amazing.
http://silentoddity.blogspot.com

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition- something I saw on a classmate's T-shirt.
  





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Wed Nov 30, 2011 1:29 pm
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SunshineandCarnage says...



My friend and I just read this work. It's cute but not laugh out loud funny. And Bad as his favorite song? You know that song is about teaching someone a lesson, right? I would try something by Black Sabbath. I apologize for the brutal criticism, but it's all about opinions.
If looks could kill, you'd be turning blue as we speak

I may not agree with what you say, but I'll fight to the death your right to say it- Voltaire

Rainbow Dash: Cutesy? Wootsy? Have you even met me?
  





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Wed Nov 30, 2011 8:22 pm
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Demoness says...



Hahaha, Mikkieee!

You're aweesome!

This was absolutely hilarious and fabalous and epilepticolous!

I love this idea, such fun writing and I love how it feels like there are two people, like a splitpersonality, writing these peace. Like this good, old human who's lived their life like most people on earth - doing their best - failing, succeding and whatnot writes first these acceptable answers and then it's like the dark passanger takes over and write those funny lines afterwards!

Kaay... so that's how I thought of it by I realize your intention might only have been to have satan try to fool his way up to heaven... or maybe it was just for fun - yeh.. well now I'm mumbling. I loved it okay! Fine! Moving on...

(To Satan/Whomever: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HP.6 wasn't goood? Kaay so Dumbledore died but still - It was still good!)

My fav moment in all the movies though is when Dobby died... because I really didn't want him to die - but he got to die such an heroic death and it was just so beautiful and adorable!

Well, I'm done mumbling now xD

Even if this isn't really a review I must share my spiders with you! 5/5 icky, sticky spiders served with wipped cream and garlic pepper!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness
"Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice." - Robert Frost
  





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Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:37 am
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michaeld says...



This was hilarious, witty, amazing and I would have never thought of it! I've read books with similar ideas and they were pretty much this, but much longer! What was truly awesome was that you could generate so many feelings that would normally take a whole novel, in one short page of words. It takes a talented author to achieve this and you did it perfectly! Keep writing! BRAVO
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." ~ Anton Chekhov
  





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Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:43 am
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dhanshucool says...



I really loved it :D
I read this twice and still am laughing :D Especially this sentence made me laugh like a mad !!! ;)
I like skiing over dead souls.

Good job dude :) thanQ for sharing this to everyone :)
-Dan
  








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