It would be my microphone, and I would be the greatest singer ever. It would also be my guitar and a single drumstick, because having two is overrated.
Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
I would definitely have used it as a sword and pretend I'm in this other world fighting creatures to rescue someone like a prince. Or I'd pretend I'm transported somewhere using our fort like in the Magic Tree House Books and fight off a T-Rex with the stick.
I would be a band conductor. And I would wave my baton (stick) around furiously, trying to get the elephants (which obviously make up the band) attentions. xD
sometimes i'm like "I should say something quotable to make it into the quote gen" but then I feel bad because quote gen quotes are very spontaneous — theromanticchemist