"I was having difficulty finding the kick button - we both remember how awful chat was on mobile - and I had never used it before anyway, so I supposed that I wouldn't be able to kick her."
"I'm guessing you discovered how to do it moments later," @TheSunderedSorcerer remarked, his face scrunched up in strain. He'd been trying to remove a particularly stubborn spot from the deck since five minutes previously, and @AstralHunter's incessant rambling wasn't helping.
"Shh, I'm getting there!" Hunter waved his hand at the old man in annoyance. "Anyway, @TheSilverFox then celebrated that he would get to kick @Ventomology after all. He asked when he should do it, to which she shrugged and replied, 'Whenever,' to which he responded that he would choose at his leisure. In the meantime, I was back in the options menu, and as I kept pressing on Ventomology's tab, lo and behold, a white box appeared to the right, precisely where Fox had said it would be. I dashed back and said that I would grant her wish, but chat was still full and crazy, so neither of them caught my warning."
"And then you kicked her?"
"Stop being so anticlimactic. Yes, I did, but while they were still discussing how it would be a surprise. You should have seen his reaction." Hunter chuckled at the recollection. "You know, the whole evening, I'd been trying to tackle and noogie him, but he always dodged my attacks. He's worse than Sans, that one. But finally-"
"Who's Sans?"
Hunter was incredulous. He then responded with a facepalm. "Never mind. The point is that even when he didn't dodge my attack because I had disabled our time and space abilities, he claimed I had successfully landed a hit on a decoy. Therefore, it was immensely satisfying to use Astonish and have it actually connect. You could even say he flinched!"
The senile sorcerer paused mid-scrub and gazed up at the bipedal Space Wolf before him. "Don't you have anything better to do?"
"Hey, you don't get to quote Undertale if you don't even know who Sans is."
"Why would I quote a game where one of the characters is named after a font everybody hates?"
Hunter pointed dramatically downwards (causing the magician to glare at the finger an inch away from his face) and yelled, "Sacrilege!"
"Did I hear my name?"
Both Hunter and the Sorcerer started and turned to gape at the newcomer. The former recovered first. "No, I meant sacrilege, the word, though your name is an interesting paradox."
"Oh, okay. Bye, then!" @Sacredlege rejoined the line of people who randomly passed by the harbour.
"That was amusing, although I guess 'Blasphemy!' would have been a better interjection. Anyway, where was I?"
"Captain @Rydia's ship, which you can get off of if you aren't going to help cleaning it."
"Very funny." Hunter pointedly hopped onto a nearby crate and made himself comfortable on it. "Since I can't remember where I was, I'll just regale you with a new story. Would you like to hear how-?"
"No, I wouldn't."
"Well, too bad. I'll-" Silence ensued for a few seconds.
Wanderer sighed and looked up. "I didn't even interrupt you that time, and I doubt you stopped talking because you decided to leave."
"I sensed a disturbance in the surrounding Force."
"So?"
Hunter frowned. "Someone agitated approaches, but I don't know who." He clambered onto the neighbouring stack of crates to get a better vantage point. "Oh, it's just our captain." He blinked. "Wait, it's our captain!" He jumped off, pried open the crate on which he had sat, and leapt inside. Conveniently, it was empty.
"What's the matter?"
Hunter lifted the top and peaked out. "Don't tell her I'm here! Err, take this as payment." He tossed a golden doubloon at the mage, who caught it and proceeded to use the chewing method so as to determine its authenticity. Satisfied, he stuck it into one of his pockets and resumed scrubbing, so Hunter lowered the lid again.
A minute later, the sound of boots tromping on wood greeted them. "Where is he?"
The futile scrubbing ceased. "Where is who?"
"Hunter. I saw him gawking at me from here a couple of minutes ago."
"He is... somewhere."
Hunter could hear Rydia scowling, despite the impossibility of it. "Could you be more specific?"
"I could."
"Then tell me where he is!"
"He paid me this pretty not to."
A heavy sigh. "What exactly did he tell you not to do?"
"He told me not to tell you he's here."
"So you're technically still allowed to point?"
The ensuing silence lead Hunter to assume he had answered by way of doing exactly that. His suspicion was confirmed when their Crew Leader lifted the lid above him. He grinned guiltily and waved. "Salutations, captain." He yelped as she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, hoisted him out of the crate and planted him on the deck.
"What did you do?"
He scratched the top of his head. "Err, many things. On which one in particular should I elaborate?"
"@Nikayla told me that you told her yesterday that you were going to make things disappear and incur my wrath. So, I ask again: what did you do?"
Hunter raised his hands. "Nothing... yet."
"Then I order you not to do whatever it is you plan on doing. We've broken enough realms this week."
"Making something poof and breaking realms isn't the same, though, and I sort of have to make something poof. I can't simply cause a chain reaction of time shifts and pretend there won't be consequences."
"Oh, this is regarding the incorrect labelling of newsletters since July last year?"
"Yip! And this," Hunter pointed at the fourth wall, "is the tagbook I said I'd create to explore on the matter."
Rydia frowned. "So why is incurring my wrath a part of the plan?"
"Well, as all storybookers should know, we have a ridiculous Captain's Challenge this month, so I thought I'd tie everything together. Annoying you just adds to the fun."
"Wait, are you blaming me for whatever's going to happen because I created the CC?"
Hunter thought about it for a second. "I didn't think of that, but since you're apparently the one people always blame, sure, let's go with that! It's totally your fault your flagship just disappeared!"
"Say what?"
Hunter clicked his fingers and... poof. Splash x2.
"Hunter!"
Grinning, he looked down at the two angry faces in the water below. "Sorry!"
"I just managed to remove that spot!" Wanderer complained. "And how come we have to fall into the freezing waters of the harbour but you get to stand suspended in air?"
"Perks of being a member of my species."
"Humph." The angry old man disapparated.
Meanwhile, Rydia had swum over to the quay and hauled herself out. Drenched and furious, she grumbled, "I'm more interested in how you plan on getting my ship back."
"And an excellent plan it is too! It starts with this post."
"And it ends with...?"
"Twenty more posts. I made it disappear, so once I meet that goal, I'll bring it back."
"Where is the adventuring element to that?"
"Hmm, good point." He clicked out a simple rhythm. "There! Several random objects - all or most of them probably important - all over the site have now disappeared as well. I shan't be able to make 21 posts for each object to bring all of them back, so other storybookers will just have to work on that themselves."
"...what happens when the CC expires and the objects haven't been returned?"
Hunter adopted the Thinker pose. "They remain lost to the void forever?"
"If I don't get my ship back, my debt to @AlexSushiDog transfers over to you."
Cue jaw drop. "Whaaat? I don't have a million points lying around!"
"Then you better get to writing. We - meaning you, me and him - have all read this post, so it's official now."
"Fine. But if I am to post in here again, I need to get more people involved. Any suggestions?"
"I recall @Omnom challenged the Crew to see who could earn the maximum number of credits first. You can always involve him, since he needs the posts too."
"True! Something of his probably disappeared anyway. @Lumi also said I should challenge @Mage and her gang to involve non-mods. And @XxXTheSwordsmanXxX has already earned half of the total credits, so he's in by default. But just to be sure..." He produced his phone and sent a few texts.
"What are you doing?"
"Just a moment. Okay, my contacts have replied." He clicked thrice. "Lumi is now missing his first Pokéball, Mage is missing her rainbow, and Swordsman is now missing his scabbard. Oh!" Clickety click. "And Omnom is now missing his gilded notebook, while Wanderer is missing his..."
Rydia crossed her arms. "His what?"
"Wait for it..."
CRACK!
"Hunter, where did my hat go?!"
"His that."
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