Y'know, this is a warm, balmy day.
The rectangle seated on his belly, his yPhone 6, began to ding-dah-ding-dah-dah-ding-dah as yPhone 6s do. You know, the kind like
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Yeah, that took a while to figure out for him, too. Dubstep regardless, he picked up the excellent rectangle and scanned the message on the screen.
Lumi's yPhone or Something wrote:@Rydia: I was just walking by the Font Color Market in the chat district and the ground shook.
@AstralHunter: T'wasn't me, Captain. We all know that all earthquakes have to be admin-approved by at least a 3/5 vote!
@Holofernes: guys it is literally four in the morning why am I even in this group message
@TheClockworkConjurer: Who added Holofernes to our group text?
@Omni: WHO DO YOU THINK I MEAN PLS
@Omni: Sorry, capslock.
@Auxiira: It was probably Lupus
@Auxiira: Luscious
@Auxiira: Lumber
@Auxiira: L U M I
He squinted in the bright sunlight and sat up, staring off into the city where, at the center, the chat room stood as the prized fruit basket in the middle of the whole YWS table.
The most logical answer was that Nate was attempting an overhaul of the chat client. But, if Lumi thought on it, he hadn't done that in over a year...so why start now? He stood and brushed the blades of grass from his leather jacket--and then stood with his hands on his hips, surveying the city. He would start an investigation.
No!
An adventure.
A Chat Room Adventure.
Sunglasses on his face and SPF 600 Sunblock on his nose, he took to his hovering skateboard and whooshed down the hill towards the city. He would start with @Chibibo and @Rosendorn. When he'd left them, they'd been dabbling with the balance between jokes and drama in a good novel. There had to be some kind of action there.
He held up his excellent rectangle and texted the group:
Lumi's yPhone or Something wrote:@Lumi: I'm launching an adventigation. All of you should do the same.
To which @MagnificentBastard replied:
Lumi's yPhone or Something wrote:@MagnificentBastard: Sounds like a chance for a redemption story for characters with so many flaws that the reader feels bad for not empathizing with them! Well, I mean it's not like those people are the first to blame because of their flaws; because they're not. What's important is to remember that every character has a certain set of flaws and redeeming qualities, and it's the balance on the three-dimensional spectrum that makes them lovable and relevant. So yes, I'll start my investigation with them, but don't you think for one second that it's because they're lesser characters just because they're on the dark side. Twincest can be forgiven if it's backed by true love, and not one of you can argue against that! Not that you would, I mean. I hold the keys to your powers, and I could take them away at a moment's notice. See? Even though I have a character flaw, you still love me. Anyway, I'll start with @Verser and @15253. They have to know something.
@Auxiira: I didn't read that because WOW, but I'll grab @Craz and start looking for leads.
@SpiritedWolfe: Remind me later to talk to you about character excess, Aria. In the meantime, I'll check with newer storybookers. Maybe they've seen something and haven't spoken up.
@ReisePiecey: I haven't had a single line of dialogue in this post yet, and frankly I find that VERY on fence dive.
@ReisePiecey: Offensive, even.
Lumi closed his messages and flicked on his music player, then scrolled to the only song appropriate to start an adventure on a skateboard.
Three, two, one.
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