Hey, guys! I've been super busy the last couple days, but I will definitely get to Charlottes post later today.
@NightCrawler I understand what you're saying, but I think everyone should have the opportunity to post during the field trip if they want to. There can always be more character and relationship development. Everyone can pick a part of it the want to do (maybe a funny conversation on the bus or something "strange" they saw on the field trip) they don't have to show the whole thing over and over. They could have different reactions to the chair as well. Where as Layla felt dizzy, Emma got weak and fell down. Maybe one of them even wakes up for a second during the treatment and afterward they're not sure if it was a dream or not. There's a lot of different things people could do with it, even if they are all similar. But if someone doesn't want to post for the field trip, they certainly don't have to and can move forward in the plot.
Last edited by Lefty on Sun Nov 15, 2015 10:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. Someday you'll look back on all these days, and all this pain is gonna be invisible. - Hunter Hayes
Ahh! I'm so sorry! Riley's was posted right before Emma's and I got them switched around. My bad! I'll fix my post.
Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. Someday you'll look back on all these days, and all this pain is gonna be invisible. - Hunter Hayes
I liked the end a lot. I get what Chaser was saying, but I think considering they don't even know what the suits are really, it's fine to leave it in.
@Chaser did you want to post before or after Cole?
Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. Someday you'll look back on all these days, and all this pain is gonna be invisible. - Hunter Hayes
@Chaser Okay... I was mostly asking because of the "Cole and Neon steal the suits" part. So if you wanted to do that scene, I wanted to make sure you posted before I did. But if you didn't have much planned for it I can come up with something.
Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. Someday you'll look back on all these days, and all this pain is gonna be invisible. - Hunter Hayes
No worries! Seven people besides you haven't posted for the week yet, so no rush.
P.S. I'll work on Cole as soon as I'm sure I'm supposed to post before Chaser.
Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. Someday you'll look back on all these days, and all this pain is gonna be invisible. - Hunter Hayes
@LeftyWriter So is the official story that the two boys just found the suits in the room with their chairs? I'm just clarifying, because I still had it in my head that Jinx was going to follow them but now I realize I'm probably not writing that anymore.
"This world is but a canvas to our imagination." ~Thoreau
@Nightcrawler I got the impression that Cole and Neon were going to sneak off to a room, Cole was going to pick the lock and the room would be filled with the suits. Neon tries one on and thinks it's cool and they start stuffing their bags with the condensed ones... But I could be mistaken. The way I see it in my head, Jinx could easily follow them. I'm just not sure what Chaser wanted to do.
Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. Someday you'll look back on all these days, and all this pain is gonna be invisible. - Hunter Hayes
Well, you see, that's the thing. I actually wrote that scene, and I can post it if you want. But the way I wrote it delved into a bit more seriousness than I had intended for this early on in the story.
Basically, run-down: Neon gets acquainted with Cole on the bus, then they sneak off when the class goes through the high-security gates. Cole picks the lock of the suit storage room, and Neon opens one of the packages. He gets curious about the material, gets suspicious/spooked, and suggests they leave. He takes his suit to clear the evidence, and leaves without checking on Cole. They find their way back to the others, but Neon doesn't know about Cole's suit stash. His suspicions eventually subside, and he gets into the chair.
I'm not sure how we wanted to handle the suit reveal, or if we wanted to bring in the element of distrust so early on. In summary, I wrote it, and it's there if you want it.
The hardest part of writing science fiction is knowing actual science. The same applies for me and realistic fiction.
I get what Chaser was saying, but I think considering they don't even know what the suits are really, it's fine to leave it in.
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