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Love and Sickness



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Fri Mar 20, 2020 6:28 am
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RoseAndThorn says...



I really feel that my writing skills have grown in the past few years, so I'm a bit optimistic that I won't completely embarrass myself this time around. This year my writing will be inspired primarily by my new relationship with my girlfriend.
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Thu Apr 02, 2020 7:39 pm
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RoseAndThorn says...



The first

Spoiler! :
Right. So one of my favorite poem things to do is to write a part 2 to things I've written a long time ago. So here's that thing- the first being a description of my experience with selective mutism, and the second my experience with slowly beginning to talk to my girlfriend.


Pt. 1
Spoiler! :
There is one experience I will never forget-
Silently drinking the stars.
They slid down my tongue
And burned my throat with passion
One by one,
Leaving infinity an endless night.

It is indescribable-
The taste of liquid diamonds and fire,
Ice cool and burning at once,
Now residing in your belly.
A pile of embers now,
Thick and uncomfortable.

I wonder some nights,
Staring at the empty sky,
If I shall ever be able to open my mouth
And set them free,
And if they could ever return to a world so vast
After living so long in silence.


Pt. 2

You held the moon in your hands
And it had never looked more at home
Gently cradled in the curve of your palms

With soft words and softer kisses
You ignited the tiniest spark in me
And taught me how to breathe flames into life

I bit my tongue for a time
Scared to let the heat escape
But you showed me a masterpiece waiting to unfold in the sky

So I opened my lungs and cried into the night
A river of stars rushed out in blazing light
They tumbled and danced across my vision

The emptiness filled with a half remembered wash of swirling silver
And the moon shone brighter than ever in its harmonic glory
The universe danced to the rhythm it was always meant to

The night sky was once more a place to call home
And a flow of air finally carried away the tears inside
The bitterness in my mouth faded and there was room for my heart to rest

You hold my hand as I look on all I had lost
Everything you had brought back to me
And hold me while I breathe in life
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Mon Apr 06, 2020 9:10 pm
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RoseAndThorn says...



The second

Spoiler! :
The feeling of wonder as I contemplated for the first time the infinite possibilities involved in leaving home and choosing a life for myself, the impacts of love and courage, the momentum of stepping off the edge into something new.


The earth has given you up at last-
Now you stretch your wings and shake off dust
And you look up at the infinite sky
And ask yourself,
"Which shall I visit first?
Which one will I call home?"
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Wed Apr 08, 2020 8:10 pm
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RoseAndThorn says...



The third

I will not be posting my third poem publicly, as it's very personal. Sorry about that.
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Wed Apr 08, 2020 8:13 pm
RoseAndThorn says...



The fourth

Falling Awake

I lay down in the firelight beside you
And as I drifted into sleep, my soul stirred inside me
And rose in quiet to mingle with the woodsmoke
I blew out through the chimney and roamed the earth like a breath of wind
And in all that night of lonely wandering
My heart never found a place so warm as yours

So here lies restlesness and the will to wander alone
Here is the end of crying softly in the stillness of night
The mingled song of our hearts soothes every ache in me
Body and soul now are tethered again
Lying linked in quiet content in the safety of your arms
Forever drifting in this melody we share
Last edited by RoseAndThorn on Sun Apr 12, 2020 4:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Points: 1025
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Thu Apr 09, 2020 4:04 am
RoseAndThorn says...



The fifth

My heart wants answers, but my hands can't let go of all the questions I've come to know as home. You hold them in yours and all the pieces seem just out of reach. You are a dream I don't want to wake up from. You stitch my reality with the sound of our hearts beating in harmony. We dance out of rhythm and the stars spin around us and I am dizzy, but I don't want it to stop. Then I am falling and the world is slipping by in a blur and I know nothing but the safety of your arms. You are an answer, and this time I am not afraid to look you in the eyes and let go of the confusion that comforts me.
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Sat Apr 11, 2020 12:51 am
RoseAndThorn says...



The sixth

Spoiler! :
I once wrote a poem describing what I imagined it was like to fall in love. Here's my recount of the actual experience. My girlfriend and I started out long-distance, so I kind of leaned into the concept of us being separated by the glass walls of our phone screens.


Glass Walls

I had braced for a needle of fire to come piercing through my heart
Instead I slipped gently into a layer of warmth and comfort
And I'm still sinking, day by day, into the safety of you
Lulled by the sound of your heart weaving melodies through the air
Keeping time with the beat of mine

I wake and take in the brilliance of your smile, warring with the rising sun
Wrapped in the sound of your breath, I fade into sleep
And in the time between dawn and dusk I bask in the warmth of your eyes

My heart cries to feel your arms around me
But I can only dream of holding you and feeling your breath on my skin
As I trace these glass walls standing like all the distance in the world between us
I can only imagine the softness of your skin beneath my fingers
While my tears hit the hard floor in echo of the storm within
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Sun Apr 12, 2020 3:57 pm
RoseAndThorn says...



The seventh

Quiet mornings wrapped in your arms
Kisses and muffled laughter
Rain pattering gently outside
The smell of coffee and the sound of your contented sigh
Hands folded together and the rhythm of your heartbeat
These are my mornings now
Far from the place I called home and the faces I knew
Cradled against your chest and wrapped in the safety of your love
There is no place I'd rather be
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Wed Apr 15, 2020 5:11 pm
RoseAndThorn says...



The eighth

Spoiler! :
Pls don't read this until after you've read the poem.

Okay, great. So in case you didn't catch it, this is me venting a tiny bit of frustration at the unexpected difficulty of suddenly having a partner in your life. Especially someone like me, who's used to isolation and secrets. I trust her completely, but I still haven't quite gotten the hang of letting all the walls down, so... it was frustrating in the beginning, hearing her talk over my head to the person I presented myself as.


Since before the world began I have floated along rivulets of color
You never saw the way the ink bled into my skin
Washing away traces of my mistakes
Leaving scars, but soothing bitter wounds

And my heart has learned new melodies to sing in harmony with the breeze
Tired traces of song still echo in the quieter chambers
But the sounds of life ring through more clearly

The sun kissed my skin and the moon brushed her fingers across my face
The wild things whispered secret things in my ear in the night
And I danced to the rhythm of the earth spinning beneath me

You had seen me for the briefest moment of time
A few hundred years at best
A flicker of color in the night
And you thought you knew me
Last edited by RoseAndThorn on Mon Apr 20, 2020 2:51 am, edited 3 times in total.
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Wed Apr 15, 2020 5:12 pm
RoseAndThorn says...



The ninth

I was crying when you found me
Lost and scared in a sea of strangers
When your eyes met mine I saw a shadow of familiarity
I took a breath and poured out my story

You led me by the hand and retraced my steps
And helped me pick up the scraps of color from the gutter
You stitched them together with sunshine
And painted the walls blue
We folded paper birds to hang from the ceiling
Then we danced and danced beneath our masterpiece
You twirled me round and kissed my face
And held me close to your heart

And there I have remained ever since
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Wed Apr 15, 2020 5:14 pm
RoseAndThorn says...



The tenth

Spoiler! :
And here we have a darker theme.


I stand on the brink and look back at the mud behind me
The place I thought I'd left
But my boots are still black and my fingers are stained
I tell myself I just need time to wash it off, but
The stinging cut on my forehead tells me otherwise
Ahead, my paradise
Behind, myself
I drag myself from one to the other and only hope I don't fray apart
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Wed Apr 15, 2020 5:16 pm
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RoseAndThorn says...



The eleventh

"This is home now."
Yet my fingers still bleed and I am still color blind
And the sound of teeth grinding has never left my ears
Home is just a word
Just the sight that fills your eyes while your head rests in the mud
And your heart turns over restlessly

"You don't have to be afraid."
Fear is a thing of the mind
It flits through corners long claimed
Filling my chest and exhaling any sense I might have had
Fear is not tame
It is a creature of fire and fury
Washing out the flicker of warmth in my heart
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Wed Apr 15, 2020 5:21 pm
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RoseAndThorn says...



The twelfth

Spoiler! :
One more poem portraying the balance between sickness and love. Also slightly incomplete. Whoops.


I don't dream.
At night my head is overrun with whispers
The singing and gentle laughter of shadows
Softly humming through the strings of my being
In the early light of morning, they sigh and fade into sleep
And I look into the eyes of my love

All the colors of the world flow between us
The sleepy sound of your breath catches in my heart and spins the world round
Your arm around me is the sweetest of flavors
I drink in the smell of you and I have never been more whole
Never more home, hidden in the safety of your love

And then they are awake and you are slipping back into a tunnel of darkness
Shadows tighten across my lungs and bleed the breath from me
Pain drips from my skull and trickles down my back
Demons unnamed are stretching and shivering across my vision
Plucking at the back of my eyelids
I hear you calling from a distance- I can picture the love in your eyes
I want to find myself in your arms again, our hearts painting harmonies in the stillness
But there is tension flowing and pooling through my muscles and my bones are dust
There are teeth in my chest as I struggle for breath- "I love you"
And they tear deeper into flesh as I reach for your hand
I pray you can't smell the blood on my breath as you lean in

I want to be led by your voice back to this moment
But the sound is overlaid with echoes of quiet singing
My body trembles to a rhythm out of your hearing
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Sun Apr 19, 2020 4:57 pm
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RoseAndThorn says...



The thirteenth

Above my head, birds are in flight.
Called from their homes by an inescapable force
Unknown and invisible
To wander the skies in search of a place foreign and soothing
Where their hearts are safe from the gale force of longing

I am restless here
In this place called home, this landscape of familiarity
The earth scarred from every time I've stumbled and risen again
My skin chaffes from being too tight
Each heartbeat measures a lifespan, yet
There isn't room for eternity in my veins
I search the horizon, blue eyes taking in bloodshot skies
Searching for some sign of a way out
But I know I'll need to grow wings
And feel my feet leave the earth
May or may not have been known in a former life as DragonLily
  





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Sun Apr 19, 2020 9:52 pm
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alliyah says...



I like how your theme of love and sickness seems to extend to emotional contradictions - like when we're home but don't feel home, or are in love, but don't feel loved (or are scared or doubting). There's definitely emotional layering in a lot of these, which makes the poems feel complex and authentic. I'm obviously a fan of bird imagery, so your thirteenth poem has got to be my absolute favorite. These lines really communicated such a beautiful restlessness,
"Each heartbeat measures a lifespan, yet
There isn't room for eternity in my veins"


Keep up the writing! You're so close to having enough for the 15 poems badge! :)
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  








"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda