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why does the grass grow?



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Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:20 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



I'm gonna do my best hnnnng

I'm not as active on here anymore but I loved napo last year so much that I'm determined to do it this year

(:
Last edited by ellasnotebook on Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
with love ((;
  





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Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:17 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



1.

I know why the grass grows green with its
tantalizing emerald and its shimmering sheen and
the way it turns navy beneath the night sky;
the grass blushes green but we never ask why.
with love ((;
  





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Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:24 pm
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fraey says...



I like that your NaPo title is already being put into play here ^^ The sort-of inner rhyme of "green/sheen" is cool to balance out "sky/why" and I like the comparing colors! Nice first poem : ))
farewell, once, amidst a wave.
castle grounds consultant of the court
  





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Wed Apr 03, 2019 1:00 am
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ellasnotebook says...



2.

one day when I'm older
I will need no secret garden
there will be no secret garden
and the walls will tumble down

one day when I'm wiser
I will need no hidden haven
I will leave the hidden haven
and the walls there that surround

one day when it does come
I will seek out other Edens
the whole world will be my Eden
because my garden is the ground
with love ((;
  





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Wed Apr 03, 2019 1:34 am
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fraey says...



The repetition is really interesting! There’s a nice beat with the subtle rhyming of the last lines, and I like this idea of making the world your own. ^^ This is a cool idea!
farewell, once, amidst a wave.
castle grounds consultant of the court
  





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Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:18 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



Here's a new poem! I've been really behind as I've been on a choir trip for the last four days, so I'll try to catch up a little.

3.

once upon december
I, a hidden ember
was tossed into the waters for
they thought I had no flame

once upon a July
I, set fire to the sky
and all the people down below
marveled at my name
with love ((;
  





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Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:23 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



I'm a really musical person, so I kind of imagined this to a beat in my head, so apologies if it sounds strange!

4.

oh beautiful sky
oh round gray stones
I wanna go where the bluebells grow

I've thought of it often and
I've thought of it fierce but
the flowers out there dry all my tears

used to think I was a city girl
now I'm all grown up
and the clear blue lake is my
sippy cup
I will drink it up
I cannot get enough
where the skyscrapers are the ground is all dried up

oh beautiful sky
oh borrowed home
I wanna go where the bluebells grow
with love ((;
  





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Mon Apr 08, 2019 5:05 pm
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fraey says...



Hey! Welcome back ^^ I hope you had fun on your trip. 3 & 4 are really nice here - I like the rhyming and the beat in especially the later one is cool! There's some neat imagery going on in both of these <333 Very nice return indeed!
farewell, once, amidst a wave.
castle grounds consultant of the court
  





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Wed Apr 10, 2019 2:04 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



5.

hey sister,
remember the moon
remember the rain
hey, remember the lilies
remember the pain
but we are the warriors of the fire and the grain
and the world will be whole again.

hey brother,
remember the sun
remember the stars
hey, remember the trees
remember the marsh
but we are the warriors of the light and the dark
and the world will be our walking park,
and the world will be whole again.
with love ((;
  





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Wed Apr 10, 2019 2:12 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



Spoiler! :
wow, an actual title!!! go me!!!


6. blue

oh blue aching in my heart
the pain I feel for paper is my curse, my earth
to heft up on my back, slick with sweat and ocean and
blue
lips cracking, gasping
to drink up the hue.
with love ((;
  





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Wed Apr 10, 2019 6:40 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



7. kind of a dark place

kind of,
but the light still shatters through the trees
kind of will not shadow me.
with love ((;
  





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Wed Apr 10, 2019 7:23 pm
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fraey says...



I can tell you like rhyming and repetition ;; ) I think it works well in shorter chunks, as shown here, and I like the extended metaphors!
farewell, once, amidst a wave.
castle grounds consultant of the court
  





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Sun Apr 14, 2019 6:53 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



8.

I guess I believe in the loch ness monster;
that'd be kind of cool I guess
and I guess I believe in magic and stuff
I don't know why you've asked me but
I guess I believe in everything
in the sparks in the sky and
the songs in the trees
I guess I couldn't live if I
didn't think the rocks could speak.
with love ((;
  





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Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:05 pm
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fraey says...



This is a cute, short little poem! I think what could work here would be to build on your connection to believing in myths and fantastical things, or even doing a follow-up poem to this with a bit more figurative message. Nicely done as ever!
farewell, once, amidst a wave.
castle grounds consultant of the court
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 64
Reviews: 49
Mon Apr 15, 2019 4:17 pm
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ellasnotebook says...



9.

hi ho-o
sings the song inside my skull
in late hours of the night
I feel the lake girl's tugging pull

hi hay-ay
I forgot her yesterday
when she drowned I felt a fright
now I've forgotten her old name

woa, oh my soul
I am not a monster
woa, oh my empty soul
I'm just the wolf that haunts her

and her hair was like a June breeze
and her voice the buzzing of the honeybees

hi-hi hi
my face is turning to the sky
in the dark I found a light
don't question why
it's just the way the die
fall down.
with love ((;
  








I drink tea and forget the world's noises.
— Chinese saying