Part Two: The Spider and the Storm
For the first week, Tarkin endured.
By the time he reached the front doors of his home, his mind had settled into a familiar stillness. It came sometimes: this cold, empty feeling that let Tarkin know he was rebooting, so to speak. Everything tucked away neat and tidy in his many boxes--ready to be called on if needed, but only if he said so.
He hadn't felt it since the first loss of his son, the death rather than the betrayal, and it came as a comfort now. It would make the news easier to deliver.
Thalassa didn't take it well. She was slow to anger--always had been--and slower still to cry. She did neither during Tarkin's long and measured explanation. The only sound she made, in fact, was a small catch in her throat when he mentioned the pregnancy.
After that she was quiet, and Tarkin was quiet, and after a few minutes she got up and left the room.
Zee Suna arrived two days after that with a few shuttles and that too-wide grin of hers. She helped Thalassa pack her belongings, saw to it everything was squared away, and then the two of them departed together. Tarkin couldn't find it in himself to care, and that out of everything struck him as strange. He might not see Thalassa again.
But that was fine, he thought. He'd make do. They had been apart for so long; perhaps it was time that frayed thread was cut.
It was around the fourth week that Tarkin let himself think again. Slammed with deadlines and back on the Executrix with its wide gray hallways and low ceilings, he had managed to go on as if Garoche had never existed. Then came the meeting with Vader, and the box had sprung a leak.
His friend had asked after Sirejj of course, and Tarkin had responded truthfully that his employment had been terminated. He trusted, correctly it seemed, that Vader would make assumptions about his word choice.
It was odd; seeing Vader made him feel tight and strange inside. Something pulled at the pit of his stomach, and he did his best to hide his unease. He ought to be grateful, after all. He was grateful! A traitor had been rooted out. It was just that Vader and Palpatine should have trusted him. Why had they not told him?
The meeting was blessedly short, and when Vader swept out of the room Tarkin was left with a feeling of dizziness. He returned to Eriadu two days later and made straight for the Carrion.
Jova was no help, for once in his long life. He listened in silence just as Thalassa had, chewing a hunk of maiwort as they sat on the floor of his one-room cabin. It was a terrible habit, that--Tarkin had watched the substance turn the old man's lips gray over the years.
At the end, he spat on the floor and asked why his nephew was here.
Tarkin found that he didn't have an answer.
"You should kill them all," Jova snapped. "Kill every one of them for what they did and what they let that mad dog do. What are you sitting here floundering for?"
Tarkin, sitting with his back against the wall, ran a hand through his thinning hair. He was hungry and tired; his uncle had caught no food during the rainy season and he himself had forgotten to eat a few times in a row.
"They're not the ones in the wrong here," he said slowly. "As I explained, Garoche was at fault. He made a mistake. Vader corrected it."
"Then why are you here?" his uncle asked again. "Your mind is made up, yet here you sit waiting for me to tell you what to think. Again."
"You're simplifying things."
"Oh, excuse me." Jova sat up a bit straighter, his gnarled back cracking loudly. "Am I misreading the situation, Governor Tarkin? Are there politics behind your decision to blame your own son--traitor though he may be--rather than to take his side against foreign powers?"
"Foreign--" Tarkin exhaled sharply. "This is our government."
"That's your family." Jova jabbed a finger at him. "That's your boy, your responsibility. So what if he took up with a xeno? So what if he sired a half-breed? That can be dealt with. But Garoche was one of us. You stood by and believed their lies. You let yourself believe you hadn't set an animal loose on your child."
"I didn't come here for a lecture!"
"It seems like that's exactly what you came for!"
It went on like this for an hour and a half. Tarkin had forgotten how little Jova cared about governmental affairs--his entire world was the Tarkin family. He wanted them to succeed, and damn everybody else. They parted from each other in anger, and Tarkin couldn't find it in himself to stay on the Carrion more than another day.
Even so, Jova's words stuck in his mind. Tarkin trusted him too much not to hear him, whether he wanted to listen or not. The box remained open, and despite his best efforts to close it, it remained so.
Months passed. Tarkin threw himself into work, taking comfort in the bureaucratic rhythm of the day-to-day. So long as he was up and moving and fueled by coffee, he was fine. It was only when he sat idle that reminders began to creep to the front of his thoughts: the long meetings with Vader and the Emperor, the bombings he ordered in insurgent sectors, the crescent scars on his left hand.
Those were more present than ever before in his mind. He lay awake at night staring at them, turning his hand over and flexing his fingers to watch the little marks dance across his ever-more prominent metacarpals. Garoche had been tiny. Too tiny, maybe–he’d been born a couple weeks early. Tarkin could fit him in the crook of one arm, and he did while Thalassa recovered from labor.
He’d never have thought such a wide-eyed, curious baby could hold so much potential for failure.
Time became indistinguishable, given meaning only by Tarkin’s calendar. Sleep fled from him, and when he did manage to catch it all it brought him were strange and disturbing dreams: Garoche’s body bleeding out in front of him, thousands of heartbeats where there should only have been one. A pack of veermoks tearing apart one of their own. A Citadel warden torturing him, face hidden in shadow until Tarkin turned and there would be Sirejj, Thalassa, Jova, Garoche, the Atoan priestess, or even Anakin Skywalker. Countless faces attached themselves to that dream, and it startled him awake each time with the smell of blood and molten rock in his nostrils. He took more and more cups of coffee with each passing day; so long as he was awake, he was fine. He promised himself this each time he looked in the mirror and saw his haggard features. People had always said he looked almost corpselike with his narrow face and hollow cheeks, but he was truly, truly sickly now. Most of his hair had turned gray in the span of this short year, leaving a few wisps of auburn clinging stubbornly at the top of his head.
Even so, he carried himself with dignity and grace. No one could ever say that Tarkin didn’t show up to meetings on time, that he wasn’t prepared. Perhaps he looked a little worse for wear, which those closest to him—Colonel Yularen and Admiral Tenant were especially sympathetic—attributed to the abandonment by his dear wife. They had always appeared affectionate in public, or at the very least friendly with each other. Her sudden departure had stirred up rumors that Tarkin attempted half-heartedly to put to rest, and some of his rivals murmured that it hadn’t been him behind his legendary political maneuvers at all–that it was Thalassa behind the scenes.
Tarkin couldn’t have that. He wouldn’t stand for it—this was slander. But he had so many more things to do, so much to worry about. Uprisings sprouted in unexpected places, there were mutterings about the Treacle planning something big (he’d have to finally reach out to Thalassa about that) and Vader was meeting him in person more and more often. Rumors died out. People would get bored of them eventually—what he needed now was rest.
As of 1:00 PM (about five minutes past), Tarkin was on his seventy-third hour with no sleep. Not necessarily a record overall—at the Citadel he had been kept awake for ninety hours straight—but in terms of voluntary deprivation it was certainly a first. He had dragged himself through a few meetings, made some decisions that he couldn’t remember, and was now forcing down yet another high-caffeine beverage as he reviewed the budget for Project Stardust. Grand Admiral Thrawn’s TIE Defender project was pulling funds, and Krennic was getting antsy. He couldn’t openly show his support for Krennic, obviously, but Thrawn was proving to be a thorn in his side.
It would be a good distraction to speak with them both, Tarkin thought, but the more pressing issue of the day was a message from Lord Vader. He had requested a visit again, this time of a personal nature.
Tarkin didn’t have the time or the energy for it. He was fighting sleep as it was, limbs jittery from the coffee while the rest of him slumped in his office chair, but one didn’t simply say no to Lord Vader. They had known each other a long time, after all. A very long time.

