Clothes

18 posts1, 2
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Snoink
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Sat Dec 17, 2005 5:12 am
Snoink says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 5:12 am
White shirt is dirty
Black pants don't fit anymore
I wait for laundry
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
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Ohio Impromptu
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Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:37 am
Ohio Impromptu says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:37 am
Spectacular!
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a head that empty?
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a heart that gone?
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Crysi
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Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:45 am
Crysi says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:45 am
*nods* So runs the life of a band geek... lol. Nice.
Love and Light
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Snoink
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Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:00 am
Snoink says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:00 am
Exactly! I got this poem stuck in my head after a nightmare, in which I had to do Mozart's Adagio in his famous clarinet concerto. *shivers* And I had no suitable clothes!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
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Areida
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Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:01 am
Areida says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:01 am
*applauds*
Truly charming stuff, Snoinkers.
Got YWS?

"Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."
- Dale Carnegie
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Elelel
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Sat Dec 17, 2005 8:35 am
Elelel says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 8:35 am
YAY!!! I loves it!
Oh, you're angry! Click your pen.
--Music and Lyrics
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Jojo
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Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:35 am
Jojo says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:35 am
These poems are really turning out to be SOMETHING!!! My friend caught me in school yesterday reciting to my mind this one about your laundry.
The Football Freak.
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Pacific_Sky14
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Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:42 pm
Pacific_Sky14 says... · Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:42 pm
Ya know, that's what happens to me! I hate it when the happens...another hour of waiting..errgh
~Skyy.
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe~JT Lloyd
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Elinor
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Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:54 pm
Elinor says... · Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:54 pm
Haha, awesome Snoink. This is a haiku, yes? I thought it was pretty awesome, and I laughed a little at the end. My only problem is that the lines seem a bit too forced. For instance, do we really say, "I wait for laundry"? No, we say, "I wait for the laundry." I can understand that this is a haiku and you're limited on the syllables that you can use, but don't be afraid to go digging around for a line that fits the requirement while not sounding awkward to reader.

-Elinor

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.
-- Walt Disney
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Snoink
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Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:15 am
Snoink says... · Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:15 am
Haha, I completely forgot about this poem.

It's actually a senryu.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
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Elinor
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Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:12 am
Elinor says... · Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:12 am
What's a senryu? O.o

Edit: Darn, sorry for replying to this. I know I didn't bump it but I forgot to check the dates.

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.
-- Walt Disney
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ScottieRAWR
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Thu May 06, 2010 10:12 pm
ScottieRAWR says... · Thu May 06, 2010 10:12 pm
Absolute win!
It's nice to see a poem that isn't cliched.
And it's a haiku!

Just Win!
I'm not brave, my life simply has no value.
I give up that which has no value for those I love.
That is not brave.
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Snoink
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Thu May 06, 2010 10:17 pm
Snoink says... · Thu May 06, 2010 10:17 pm
Hahaha, actually, it's a senryu, which is a humorous haiku! Or something like that.

Also, this is a pretty old poem! I'm going to lock it so that more people can critique to poems that actually need critiquing! But thanks for responding. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
Quote




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SohpieeRose
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Kwantack
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Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:20 pm
Kwantack says... · Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:20 pm
It's perfect in every way possible!
"The only bad ideas are the ones never tried." - Puck, The Sisters Grimm
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18 posts1, 2


The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
— Patrick Star