Clothes

18 posts1, 2
User avatar
Snoink
Supporter
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Sat Dec 17, 2005 5:12 am
Snoink says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 5:12 am
White shirt is dirty
Black pants don't fit anymore
I wait for laundry
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
Quote




User avatar
Ohio Impromptu
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 131
Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:37 am
Ohio Impromptu says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:37 am
Spectacular!
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a head that empty?
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a heart that gone?
Quote




User avatar
Crysi
Gender None specified
Points 6831
Reviews 594
Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:45 am
Crysi says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:45 am
*nods* So runs the life of a band geek... lol. Nice.
Love and Light
Quote




User avatar
Snoink
Supporter
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:00 am
Snoink says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:00 am
Exactly! I got this poem stuck in my head after a nightmare, in which I had to do Mozart's Adagio in his famous clarinet concerto. *shivers* And I had no suitable clothes!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
Quote




User avatar
Areida
Gender Female
Points 17580
Reviews 798
Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:01 am
Areida says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:01 am
*applauds*
Truly charming stuff, Snoinkers.
Got YWS?

"Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."
- Dale Carnegie
Quote




User avatar
Elelel
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 221
Sat Dec 17, 2005 8:35 am
Elelel says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 8:35 am
YAY!!! I loves it!
Oh, you're angry! Click your pen.
--Music and Lyrics
Quote




User avatar
Jojo
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 94
Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:35 am
Jojo says... · Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:35 am
These poems are really turning out to be SOMETHING!!! My friend caught me in school yesterday reciting to my mind this one about your laundry.
The Football Freak.
Quote




User avatar
Pacific_Sky14
Gender Female
Points 8671
Reviews 94
Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:42 pm
Pacific_Sky14 says... · Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:42 pm
Ya know, that's what happens to me! I hate it when the happens...another hour of waiting..errgh
~Skyy.
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe~JT Lloyd
Quote




User avatar
Elinor
Supporter
Gender Female
Points 1030
Reviews 1260
Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:54 pm
Elinor says... · Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:54 pm
Haha, awesome Snoink. This is a haiku, yes? I thought it was pretty awesome, and I laughed a little at the end. My only problem is that the lines seem a bit too forced. For instance, do we really say, "I wait for laundry"? No, we say, "I wait for the laundry." I can understand that this is a haiku and you're limited on the syllables that you can use, but don't be afraid to go digging around for a line that fits the requirement while not sounding awkward to reader.

-Elinor

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.
-- Walt Disney
Quote




User avatar
Snoink
Supporter
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:15 am
Snoink says... · Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:15 am
Haha, I completely forgot about this poem.

It's actually a senryu.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
Quote




User avatar
Elinor
Supporter
Gender Female
Points 1030
Reviews 1260
Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:12 am
Elinor says... · Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:12 am
What's a senryu? O.o

Edit: Darn, sorry for replying to this. I know I didn't bump it but I forgot to check the dates.

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.
-- Walt Disney
Quote




User avatar
ScottieRAWR
Gender Male
Points 1146
Reviews 2
Thu May 06, 2010 10:12 pm
ScottieRAWR says... · Thu May 06, 2010 10:12 pm
Absolute win!
It's nice to see a poem that isn't cliched.
And it's a haiku!

Just Win!
I'm not brave, my life simply has no value.
I give up that which has no value for those I love.
That is not brave.
Quote




User avatar
Snoink
Supporter
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Thu May 06, 2010 10:17 pm
Snoink says... · Thu May 06, 2010 10:17 pm
Hahaha, actually, it's a senryu, which is a humorous haiku! Or something like that.

Also, this is a pretty old poem! I'm going to lock it so that more people can critique to poems that actually need critiquing! But thanks for responding. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
Quote




User avatar
SohpieeRose
Gender Female
Points 1060
Reviews 10




User avatar
Kwantack
Gender Female
Points 3354
Reviews 111
Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:20 pm
Kwantack says... · Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:20 pm
It's perfect in every way possible!
"The only bad ideas are the ones never tried." - Puck, The Sisters Grimm
Quote

18 posts1, 2


Daddy Long Legs are more closely related to crabs than spiders and somehow the idea of crablike creatures with spider legs that have escaped the entrappings of the primordial sea and now crawl over land and can walk up and down walls and ceilings creeps me more than I can adequately describe.
— Snoink