Young Writers Society

Once there was a tomato and orange. They were the greatest of friends.So they were super buddies.Awesomeness had spread around the world because of them. All was wonderful.So they took a stroll on the beach. The ocean mist waving everywhere. So this other orange came and said."don't you dare take away my tomato! I'm gonna use him for my fruit salad!". Orange # 1 said " No this is my tomato!" The tomato had no say in this. "I didn't like the race of oranges anyway."
The oranges pulled a gun from their belly button.They shot the tomato with all their might. The tomato was now dead.
The two oranges created a alliance and made a orange army. And they killed all the tomatos in the country of the u.s.a .
The oranges started making up bad stories about the other fruits, so they would be the only fruits. But one of the oranges knew this and was against it. So he secretly told the other races of fruits. So they took action and made and Defence against the dark oranges ciriculum in fruit hogwarts. All the oranges were killed but except that one orange that helped,so he made the race of oranges back in the food chain. As for the tomatos, they were resupplied through the other countries.
But the humans always remembered the disapearing of the tomatos and oranges.

THE END.

Overall it's a very cute story. Doesn't have much structure, though you probably already know this. I think the ening was definitly cut waaaay too short. There should've been more description to the fruit feud. Maybe more personification and specific oranges coudl've had names. Also punctuation had its downfalls. Be careful where you put periods and remember to capitalize. Also, the phrase "The ocean mist waving everywhere" doesn't make sense, so revise that. But it's cute, again. Keep writing!
-Klotrox

This story is funny and all, but it has no structure. It has a good plot, but I have the feeling you wrote this just for the heck of writing (no offense). I think you should consider revising it and adding more. Just for fun.

funny story, though I'm thinking the tomato and orange represents some human characters that would rather be represented as tomatoes and oranges, just guessing, anyways, your story is good, but you should try revising it and give it a better structure.

Ummm.... Wow. I just dont understand the meaning of this, and Hogwarts? no. Thats also a stolen name from a movie, you know, Harry potter? Well, I am not trying to be harsh but it just isnt my kind of story. I bet lots of other people thought that it was cute, me, no. sure, its funny but just not my style of writting. And I agree with the other reviews, It has no structure. like I agree it is a short story but just add some structure. I hope it helped!!!:)

~Pixie2~

very funny. I like how you let the oranges get guns from their belly button. But I still don't get the "ocean" stuff. Plus, you should work on capitalizing U.S.A. and other things. Overall it was a pretty funny story. GREAT JOB!!!!!