My Professor said this is still excessively wordy:
Jayden sat at his desk, a rustic and mahogany painted block. Peering outside of the window, he breathed with the pitter-patter of heavy rains. He sighed a deep sigh, leaning back in the swivel chair, as he discouraged fatigue from his eyes with the heels of his hands. He couldn’t sleep, for if he dared he’d subject himself to the nightmares of times past.
To me that is descriptive, yet not too flowery. Or is it? Clearly my prof knows better than I do, but I'm having trouble keeping the descriptiveness/imagery in, while cutting out the fat, during my revision stages.
Cheers!
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