Corrupt A Wish [4]

Granted, but it's put on the worst sellers list and put you to shame.

I wish I was able to translate any and every language in the universe(Because it's obvious that we're not alone out here.)

Granted, but you can only translate text.

I wish I was good at math.

Granted, but then you got into an accident that left you unable to do math.

I wish a new clean source of energy and fuel was discovered that would help repair the Ozone.

Granted, but to get it you have to kill off more than half the population.

I wish I had a endless supply of coffee.

Granted, but you drink so much you develop a caffeine high and get so jittery and twitchy that you veer off the road while you're driving. You end up crashing into a building.

I wish I could read a book just by touching it.

Granted, but you can only read one book using that method, and it's Fifty Shades of Grey.

I wish it weren't so hot out.

Granted, but instead, it's incredibly cold. The Earth has reached the second ice age and all of the human race is wiped out. Nice wish man.

I wish that I knew everything.

Granted, but the information in your head is too much for your brain, and you, and you drill a hole in your head trying to relieve the immense pressure it's putting on your brain Of course you die.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, the power of flight is ours for the space of fifteen minutes. But you lose track of time flying at two hundred feet in the air. You fall and die. Btw, does a body go crunch or splat after falling that far?

I wish I was President of the United States!

Granted, but you suck and get impeached.

I wish I got a brand new car for free and didn't have to pay anything on it.

Granted, but you crash the next day, and your insurance company goes under.

I wish I could write a fighting scene perfectly.

Granted, but you feel every bit of pain your characters feel, both physical and emotional.

I wish I could be really good at solving puzzles

Granted, but then you solve to meaning of life and the meaning is something terrible and when you tell people about it no one believes you and they throw you into an asylum where you spend the rest of your life.


I wish I had a kitten.

granted you get a whole batch of horrifying mutants with the word kitten written on them.

I wish for laser shark

Granted, but the shark can't turn off it's lasers, making it impossible to keep it in captivity.

I wish I owned a library.