Sushi Critic

Hello Sushi, here is my story.

A Godly Affair

Synopsis: A fraud doctor creates a sensation by declaring that he can predict future of a child. Upset with this the God himself comes to earth to expose the doctor. What follows is a battle between God and Doctor.

I have made some major grammatical mistakes in the story and I request you to help me with it.

Hi! I'd love it if you could give me a review on my new short story Zom-Brawl

Criticise anything and everything you want! Thw flow, timing, plot, characters, you name it, go to town!
It follows the operation of the ZomBrawl through the MC Mark's eyes, expect blood(not too violent) and zombies *cough* I mean Zed-Heads.
Much appreciated!

X

@NerdBird - sorry, but it might take me until tomorrow to get the review done. I did the one above me, but I'm also trying to finish a nowhere near done book report by tomorrow XD I'll do my best I haven't forgotten even if I'm a week or something late. I just forgot my mind somewhere...

Thats fine

All requests above this message have been completed.

Well, since you're bored....
I can't get a link now because I'm on mobile, but it would be superb if you could review my latest work, The Colors of the Sunset.

Spoiler

This is a SS that is about suicide....It's kinda hard to explain...But I guess I want to know about how to make it more "emotional" or sad. According to my brother, I've never written anything happy....now I see he's right, lol. So that would be amazing!

I mean, if you want to, you can review this one of mine: Crossroads

But it's a Christian poem/story, so I'm not sure if you would want to. Like, about the journey of a Christian. Just warning you. You could critique my vocab and order? I challenged myself with the vocabulary, but it is totally up to you if you want to or not. I have a feeling it won't get many reviews...

@GriffinClaw - I'll give it a try Like your new avatar by the way, I'll see if I can get to it later, just got home from a long day DX

Hey sushi. I know you don't like poetry so if anyone else wants to review my two new pieces I would welcome it greatly I'll do reviews in returns, digital pinky swear. Did you do it? Okay... I'll just have to take your digital word for it thanks guys.
TS

@TheShauzer - What would you like me to review? You never gave me a title to see if I wanted to XD I went to look at Griffin's poem and told her that I would read it once she made it, um, dumbed down for my simple mind XD I can take a look at your's and tell you if I'll review it or not. First I need a link, a link would be nice.

Hey sushi thanks for replying. I can't give links, I'm working off a phone and um fairly crap with it you can find both of them in the poetry section of my portfolio under the titles 'Suburbia' and 'Memories'. If you only have time for one I'll understand and I'd prefer a review of 'Memories' Thanks Sushi I'll try to review more of devil touch when I get a chance

Hi Sushi! Thanks for your amazing review on my previous story!

I have posted an experimental short on 'No strings attached relationship' with a twist in the end. It is about 400 words. I know it is too short but I would like to hear something about it (A short review is fine).

Her Agony

Hey Sushi Can't believe I'm on here AGAIN, seems desperate But I wrote a nice piece, one of my best - "Start to a book? Has potential." - and it hasn't gotten ANY reviews. This is a crisis situation Hope you review, it's something that you might like. "Start to a book? Has potential." is actually the title You'll find it in shorts if you can't in my portfolio. I'll review some of Devil Touch again
TS

Sushisashimi is a Bobbywalker-approved reviewer. This guy knows his stuff!

@Bobbywalker

bobbywalker wrote:Sushisashimi is a Bobbywalker-approved reviewer. This guy knows his stuff!

XD Thanks so much! Glad I'm a good reviewer XD However XDXDXD I am a girl XD It's okay though :p, not the first time someone thought I was a guy ^^