z

Young Writers Society



Crossroads

by Sonder


Like a disregarded breeze on a hot summer’s day,

I am woken by forgotten dreams I thought passed away...

We peer up at the road signs as we pass, callow eyes wide with naivety and expectation. The world is prodigious and stiff, so these signs of splinter-wood are an entailment, to stave off the pain of the adrift, to prevent children from being found inside wells and at the bottom of sawtooth cliffs.

Shared aspirations, our embroidered mouths dare not speak of reprehensible acts, distorted in the mind, all but forgotten by the heart. The sixth sense of right and wrong is muffled by a blanket of lies, for surely as the innocent child stares at the sun (“It will not harm me!”), we cannot stand to think that the crossroads lead to fallacy. The stars dare not scorch us here.

The ground is soft beneath our feet, both tenuous and acrimonious. Where can we seek refuge? For the earth is as reliable as sinking sand, intent on luring us beneath the soil to burrow for eternity, among the nurturing shadows and faux-smiles. Where is our rock? Where can we seek faithful, firm ground?

We sing the song of wanderers, the rejects, the distressed exhausted write-off broken dreamers. We are an army of individuals searching separately for the same truth. We could grip hands tightly and quest united, but who can we trust? Among these devoted tranquil warm failures, there thrives the demons of our pasts, patient at the dusty intersections we will all eventually approach. They are waiting for exposed backs, eager to plunge the dagger deep, whispering lie-truths we have learned to surmise, soft and sweet into dying ears. They enjoy the reaction more than the crimson.

There is a wild blizzard raging enclosed within, thoughts perforating our skulls, whipping into a flurry out of control. Our hearts are pumping ice through our veins, all while the sun grafts more flaws onto our skin. Can we ever meet the expectations? Because the elevation of assumption is getting to be too much for us to bear each passing twilight.

Challenge the sadistic monsters of memories past. Crusade against the blizzards within our hearts. Query for the unknown path, forage in the foliage for the green path, barely worn. When we reach the crossroads, the intersections of grace, we will search for the hidden way, which in turn will be our guide to light.

Fight the urge to collapse before your demons. Cry out to the stars above, and He will heed you, emerging from seraphic skies to zealously gather you, yet another of His lost flock, into arms that have held the Universe. After a long-awaited embrace, the Father’s hand will then rest upon the small of your back, guiding you down the roads less traveled.

As viridescent leaves rustle beneath bloodied heels, He will murmur tender promises He intends to keep, leading us one by one to the pearly gates called Home.

And when the hues of Heaven illuminate our unworthy faces, we will wonder why we never wandered from the worldly highways earlier...

“Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

and you will find rest for your souls.”

~Jeremiah 6:16


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Mon Jan 11, 2016 2:55 pm
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AutoPilot wrote a review...



To start with; oh-my-goodness-that-was-so-awe-inspiring-that-I-just-cannot.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, you did an amazing job. I feel like amazing is an overused word, because really it is meant to be used for things like God, like miracles, like Gods unconditional love: we use it for everything these days. I am a Christian, maybe not a great one, but I am. This, was so perfect for what this verse says, you did a truly amazing job.

Your imagery skillz are off the chart. You make everything seem so real (but it is, so..) that I feel like I am watching something instead of reading. This is a beautiful peace of work, I cannnot find the words here to say what I am tring to... well, say.

This was great; the flow in this is like poetry, the wording is magnificent, the message is insprping and yet it is also truthful. You have managed to take something from the Bible and give it even more meaning. Overall, great job.

God Bless You and keep on writing!




Sonder says...


Thank you! I'm so glad you felt that way. :)



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Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:01 pm
Inspiredravens wrote a review...



Amazing! Being able to write things like that out of a verse is something God has definitely gifted you with. There isn't much to change. At all. Well done, you are very inspiring. I had been wondering how god could use someone to write for him besides the teaching books with lessons. I love what God has done with you and I hope that you write more like this.




Sonder says...


Aw, thanks. ^-^ I worked hard on this. I love my Lord.



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Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:15 pm
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IamTraunt wrote a review...



Hey! IamTraunt here to... Talk? Um, comment I guess :-D

Okay, this is what my bible says, lets compare shall we:

This is what He says: “Stand at the crossroads and see. Ask about the ancient roadways,
Ask where the good way is, and walk in it, And find rest for yourselves. But they say: “We will not walk in it.”


Hm. It is a little different, but practically there isn't much. So, I like how powerful this piece is. Its very intriguing to see someone else's point of view on that scripture. I love your vocabulary. Serious, VB, it is incredible. Did you actually write this? Wow. It just... Wow... Blew my mind. I also like how you mention all the bad in this world, as we are suffocating in lies, and I like how you then say that we have hope. You put it straight out into the open and then give a solution. I love my God and what you said about Him helping us is true - but first, we need to get to know him.
Thank you for this, VB :)




Sonder says...


Thanks for the review, Traunt! Oh goodness, are you a Christian too? O.O YOU ARE THE BEST! ^-^
You probably just have a different version. It says basically the same thing.
Thank you, thank you! Yes, I wrote it. It took me a few days and lots of looking up definitions. ;)
I love Him too. That's so awesome that you feel the same.



IamTraunt says...


Well, to tell the truth, VB. I am a Jehovah's Witness. Practically I am Christian, we have similar beliefs :) Our religions coincide in many ways. I'm glad you love God, VB, we have so much in common don't we? *is creeped out and same time happy*
Its nice to see someone who has such a firm founded belief! Are your friends religious? Most of mine aren't unfortunately.
So happy!!!



Sonder says...


Ah, okay. Cool. It is a bit creepy how much we have in common. o.o
Eh, some of them are. I'm not a super feeling sharer (lol) so we don't talk about it much. I just listen to whoever needs to talk. :)



IamTraunt says...


Now that freaks me out... Wow... No seriously. I love to listen to other people, I prefer to listen than to talk. O.o scary.
We're like twins xD except I'm not blue ;) hee hee.



Sonder says...


Gah. This is freaky. O.O



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Mon Mar 24, 2014 11:55 pm
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KnightTeen wrote a review...



Big words.

I better get out my dictionary.

Oh, wait.

I am gifted with intelligence.

I got this.

This,
is,
amazing.

Seriously, I thought I was listening (figuratively) to a professional speaker for a second there.

I am so surprised that you got all of that out of one verse (one of the best in my opinion).

It's short, but it's so beautiful. You're imagery is easily the best that I have ever seen.

For critiques, I would have said something about the ending since I agree with what Messenger said, but then I saw your reply to his review and read it again, understanding it this time.

Wonderful.

~Teen~




Sonder says...


Thanks Teen! I worked really hard on this and challenged myself with vocab. Any suggestions on how I can make my theme clearer, since both you and Mess didn't get it at first? :)
Thanks again!
~GC



KnightTeen says...


I don't know....maybe you should consider adding a paragraph talking about the reward that we receive at the end, to kind of draw this to a close and show why we are traveling and taking the crossroads.



Sonder says...


Hmm, maybe so. I do feel like this needs more happy mixed in. :) Thanks again! That really helped.



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Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:31 pm
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SushiSashimi333 says...



Man! I can tell you really did try to challenge yourself on these words O_O It feels like you started barfing a dictionary at me XD I get that you're trying to enlargen vocab and all, but when you do it all at once I actually have to pull out my dictionary app XD

Seeing as how I'm not Christian, I probably won't understand much of this considering I never paid attention to most things when I was Christian.

Okay, so I've been trying to read this, but my gosh! You used too many big words on here that probably two thirds of the people on the earth don't even understand XD Cut down on it XD I can't read this despite the fact that I want to. It's beyond my mental capability.

However, I did like the feeling I got from this and your writing style, as always, is flawless! Sadly I have no idea what this was about, it was like trying to read a modern day version of Jane Eyre and my brain just doesn't want to go through that again. Cut it down, then I'll read it.

Sushi :D




Sonder says...


Thanks Sushi! However, I don't think I will change this. Maybe I will write another story with the same point and the like, but I didn't really write this to be understood easily. I'm... proud of this vocab I discovered. :)
It makes sense to me (XD), and I dunno, I kinda wrote it as a tribute to my faith.
And Jane Eyre is not the same. *gag* XD
Anyways, thanks for trying, all the same. :)
~GC





it's just so much for my little brain to understand XD I wishI could read it, your vocab was really good! You just put a lot in O.O



Messenger says...


*barf barf barf*



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Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:31 pm
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Messenger wrote a review...



Messenger here for you!

Wow. And I don't say it because I am a Christian so I am biased in my thoughts. I said it before I relized where you were headed. You wrote this like David wrote his psalms! I mean the last few paragraphs read exactly like a psalm.

It took a little bit of time fore me to discern where you were headed, but I think it fits well with what your idea you were getting across was. The imagery was just . . . . SPECTACULAR! I can't eve imagine writing something that well. I can tell you really put time and effort into this work and you will receive a like for it!

I only have one problem. Your ending made it seem a little bit like finding God can be still very hard and confusing. Maybe work on that a little bit? I really love the idea of the roads and the forests and the Crossroad being the meeting place. It makes me think of
"the wide path to destruction and the Narrow path to Heaven" which is cool. There will probably be some who read this and may not understand and believe this, but for me it was a really good reminder and encouragement. Thank you Grif!

There weren't any other problems I could spot which allowed me to focus on the story, which in turn really helps me to comprehend everything and understand it all.
Hope this helps.

~Messenger




Sonder says...


Wow, thanks Mess! I did work very hard on this. :)
And I didn't mean to send the message that it is hard to find God, but that there are many trials and tempting promises that will try to keep us from Him.
Thanks again!
~GC




Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
— Kyle Chandler